It's the middle of the night and the house is quiet. All the windows are closed and there's no traffic outside or noise inside. I don't have masking on though I will in a moment. The t is loud! I feared things would be louder once closed window season came and man are they!
I wonder if there would be a difference in the volume if I put earmuffs on. I can't imagine much.
The encouraging thing is I hear the t but I'm not getting worked up about it. If I dwell I will get worked up so I try not to dwell. It's a noise in the background like an airplane in the sky, standing near a busy road, a car alarm going off on the other side of a parking lot.
Lucky for me my gray cat, which at the time of this writing is part of my avatar, is laying behind me. I don't feel so alone.
I used a battery-powered blower a few days this week for perhaps 15-30 minutes in addition to the battery-powered weed wacker. I had plugs and muffs on. I'm sure the t is a little louder but masking would help a lot too.
It's weird, I've been talking about this low rumble vibration in only my left ear but last night, after using the blower during the day, I didn't hear it. Once again just when you think you have t figured out it doesn't play by the rules.
The wind just blew outside. It's amazing how there can be such a racquet in my head yet normal sounds come through perfectly fine. When I first got t I wouldn't have believed it.
I am getting a little worked up, I'm realizing this is never going away, life will always be different. I tell myself that a different life is better than no life. Things have improved, perhaps not in the volume but the h has gone down. My reaction to t has gone down.
I do hope for a miracle reduction, even if it's getting closer and closer to two years (not that two years means anything). I want things to start moving in the other direction, which they have for everything except the volume. I hope for some fading, any fading. I want to write a post about how, right when I was ready to give up hope, things started to improve.