- Oct 6, 2016
- 3
- Tinnitus Since
- 05/2016
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Played a loud club show without hearing protection
Hi,
My name is Marley, and I'm a DJ in Asheville, NC. On May 28, 2016 I played a three-hour club gig without hearing protection or breaks. Typically I am very safe with my ears - always wearing protection for attending shows (I'm 31 now). But for some reason, that night, I didn't think about it, and everything changed. I remember specifically having a significant threshold shift immediately following the show - diminished hearing sensitivity when I was talking to people and packing up - and have experienced persistent low-level high-pitched tinnitus ever since.
I had two hearing tests in the wake of the incident: the first showed a pretty severe "notch" in the 4K range in my left ear, which is a signature of noise-induced hearing loss. Fortunately, the second test taken a week later showed a significant improvement in that area. My hearing sensitivity seems to be in decent shape, but the T simply hasn't gone away. My heart aches when I think about the time my audiologist told me I had "exceptional hearing" when I was first tested a few years ago.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my tinnitus. But I have good days and bad days. I try to recognize and appreciate the stretches of time when I am not bothered by it. I attend bi-weekly therapy that includes mindfulness and CBT, and I meditate daily on my own for 20 minutes. I'm currently taking a multivitamin and B12 supplement and getting more exercise. Last night my T kept me up and I couldn't sleep, and I felt compelled to share my story.
On my bad days, I dwell on the mistake I made and the threat it presents to my entire being. I would do anything - and I do mean anything - to take it back. Music is my profession, my livelihood and the framework around which I have built my life and my identity for the past 17 years. I'm wondering now if this development means that I need to consider quitting. On my worst days, there's a voice inside that says "you can always kill yourself," and that provides a bit of relief.
I've read through many success stories here, but it appears that most people with success stories are either young, had their tinnitus show up only recently (< 1 month or so), or had some origin other than noise damage. I'm still in the phase where I am not giving up, but I am starting to feel that there is no hope for me.
Thank you for taking the time to read through this.
MC
My name is Marley, and I'm a DJ in Asheville, NC. On May 28, 2016 I played a three-hour club gig without hearing protection or breaks. Typically I am very safe with my ears - always wearing protection for attending shows (I'm 31 now). But for some reason, that night, I didn't think about it, and everything changed. I remember specifically having a significant threshold shift immediately following the show - diminished hearing sensitivity when I was talking to people and packing up - and have experienced persistent low-level high-pitched tinnitus ever since.
I had two hearing tests in the wake of the incident: the first showed a pretty severe "notch" in the 4K range in my left ear, which is a signature of noise-induced hearing loss. Fortunately, the second test taken a week later showed a significant improvement in that area. My hearing sensitivity seems to be in decent shape, but the T simply hasn't gone away. My heart aches when I think about the time my audiologist told me I had "exceptional hearing" when I was first tested a few years ago.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my tinnitus. But I have good days and bad days. I try to recognize and appreciate the stretches of time when I am not bothered by it. I attend bi-weekly therapy that includes mindfulness and CBT, and I meditate daily on my own for 20 minutes. I'm currently taking a multivitamin and B12 supplement and getting more exercise. Last night my T kept me up and I couldn't sleep, and I felt compelled to share my story.
On my bad days, I dwell on the mistake I made and the threat it presents to my entire being. I would do anything - and I do mean anything - to take it back. Music is my profession, my livelihood and the framework around which I have built my life and my identity for the past 17 years. I'm wondering now if this development means that I need to consider quitting. On my worst days, there's a voice inside that says "you can always kill yourself," and that provides a bit of relief.
I've read through many success stories here, but it appears that most people with success stories are either young, had their tinnitus show up only recently (< 1 month or so), or had some origin other than noise damage. I'm still in the phase where I am not giving up, but I am starting to feel that there is no hope for me.
Thank you for taking the time to read through this.
MC