Apologies in advance for the length and the fact this may not be the most well written of posts.
I was taking a break from this site as I have some personal issues I have to deal with and need to give my full energy and concentration to them but after my ENT appointment today I feel the need to rant a bit as I feel so sad and angry.
Soooo I had my appointment at the ENT (after they cancelled twice) feels like a complete waste of my time. I was going into it this knowing currently there is no cure and didn't have any expectations in regards to a cure, I was hoping to at least try and find out how my T was caused ( I'm assuming it was caused by either the result of having a severe cold/chest infection as it came on during this or maybe headphone use as I used them at the gym)
Anyway I had an hearing test, all perfect within the normal testing range so I'm assuming I probably have hidden hearing loss as well, the audiologist was very vague when I asked about this and why they don't test the full range.
Aaaaand then my time to see the actual ENT Ronald Mcfeckingdonald doctor, went into the room to which he then asked about why I'm here so I explained (my anxiety was there but I was trying to stay calm and breathe).
The doctor then goes on to try and tell me about tinnitus or should I say his thoughts on it (now I'm far from an expert on tinnitus and since I've had tinnitus my thoughts and ability to retain information seems to be so bad to the point I had to give up doing my degree and I'm in and out of work) the fact I knew more than him is so disheartening. He then literally waffles on about "habituation" and how in time I'll be fine and I won't give it a second thought. He looked in my ears and said they look fine, I didn't get asked if my balance was ok? Do I get headaches? Nothing!! Maybe I should have asked to see his credentials eh?
I'm well aware that they deal with more the surgical side of things but he knew so little about tinnitus that I burst out crying and then had a bloody panic attack. I feel like medically we don't have anywhere to turn for help, all the medical "professionals" I've seen so far have been little or no help and the answer from them seems to be "here take a pill" or you'll get used to it blah blah blah while I know medication can help some I have no issue with that, myself personally I would like to try and work this out without getting medication shoved in my fecking face.
The fact tinnitus has no physical symptoms so to speak and the medical community is big on "coping mechanisms" instead of putting more time and money into an actual cure or at least something that actually takes the volume down a few notches makes me so sad and angry.
I want to be more active in raising awareness but how do we start? Everything I see seems to get no traction at all, it's like tinnitus isn't seen as a "big deal" If I'm being honest in my current state I'm no help to anybody, I want to help I truly do but sometimes I feel like I'm losing my shit. Big groups of people seem to make so anxious, I feel like I'm always one step away from losing it.... my concentration is totally shot. I'm far from a negative person and I'm a big believer in positive thinking but I just feel so low and alone today.
Anywhooooo I'm done with my rant and hopefully I feel a bit more postive tomorrow?! think I'll disappear for a few months and go on a spiritual quest or some shit.......
I was taking a break from this site as I have some personal issues I have to deal with and need to give my full energy and concentration to them but after my ENT appointment today I feel the need to rant a bit as I feel so sad and angry.
Soooo I had my appointment at the ENT (after they cancelled twice) feels like a complete waste of my time. I was going into it this knowing currently there is no cure and didn't have any expectations in regards to a cure, I was hoping to at least try and find out how my T was caused ( I'm assuming it was caused by either the result of having a severe cold/chest infection as it came on during this or maybe headphone use as I used them at the gym)
Anyway I had an hearing test, all perfect within the normal testing range so I'm assuming I probably have hidden hearing loss as well, the audiologist was very vague when I asked about this and why they don't test the full range.
Aaaaand then my time to see the actual ENT Ronald Mcfeckingdonald doctor, went into the room to which he then asked about why I'm here so I explained (my anxiety was there but I was trying to stay calm and breathe).
The doctor then goes on to try and tell me about tinnitus or should I say his thoughts on it (now I'm far from an expert on tinnitus and since I've had tinnitus my thoughts and ability to retain information seems to be so bad to the point I had to give up doing my degree and I'm in and out of work) the fact I knew more than him is so disheartening. He then literally waffles on about "habituation" and how in time I'll be fine and I won't give it a second thought. He looked in my ears and said they look fine, I didn't get asked if my balance was ok? Do I get headaches? Nothing!! Maybe I should have asked to see his credentials eh?
I'm well aware that they deal with more the surgical side of things but he knew so little about tinnitus that I burst out crying and then had a bloody panic attack. I feel like medically we don't have anywhere to turn for help, all the medical "professionals" I've seen so far have been little or no help and the answer from them seems to be "here take a pill" or you'll get used to it blah blah blah while I know medication can help some I have no issue with that, myself personally I would like to try and work this out without getting medication shoved in my fecking face.
The fact tinnitus has no physical symptoms so to speak and the medical community is big on "coping mechanisms" instead of putting more time and money into an actual cure or at least something that actually takes the volume down a few notches makes me so sad and angry.
I want to be more active in raising awareness but how do we start? Everything I see seems to get no traction at all, it's like tinnitus isn't seen as a "big deal" If I'm being honest in my current state I'm no help to anybody, I want to help I truly do but sometimes I feel like I'm losing my shit. Big groups of people seem to make so anxious, I feel like I'm always one step away from losing it.... my concentration is totally shot. I'm far from a negative person and I'm a big believer in positive thinking but I just feel so low and alone today.
Anywhooooo I'm done with my rant and hopefully I feel a bit more postive tomorrow?! think I'll disappear for a few months and go on a spiritual quest or some shit.......