"This is what we started," the last song and line I ever heard before the ringing in my ears began, and little did I know what had just started. The music faded, the lights came up and immediately I knew I wouldn't shake this new sound that filled my ears and head. I've seen people describe T as either one of four levels: mild, moderate, severe or extreme. A year ago today I would've said extreme was an understatement. I could barely hear anything above the T. Now a year on I have come on a million miles and if you are new to T let this thread be a reminder that it will get better, however much you tell yourself it won't.
I found that the first three months were where the real improvements with regards to the volume occurred but has steadily decreased continuously until now and I hope that continues. However recently I am not sure if this is just me habituating or still a reduction. However I believe the real healing of T begins long after this initial three month period. I really did struggle at first with the mental side of it. The stress it caused me on top of the sleepless nights was unbearable. As a result I found myself often saying strange things and just genuinely making me unbearable to be around at times. I also struggled with the social aspect initially. I found myself retracting away from social situations simply because of the possible noise levels I'd expose myself to. My peers didn't understand and could be very cruel with their comments and this really did push my mental resolve to breaking point. To say at times I was a sheer wreck would be appropriate however good I became at hiding it. I, in time, began to realise who actually cared for my well-being, I learned I was actually only doing myself harm by retracting from social situations and that my ears aren't as fragile as can first appear at on set of T. I now regularly go out with friends to social events with very little fear of noise. I've learned how to manage in slightly louder environments so I can socialise in an almost unlimited number of ways now. Coffee shops, restaurants, cinemas, pubs and bars and no longer out of bounds. This along with a more consistent pattern of sleep has far improved my well-being and happiness. I feel more like pre T me with each day that passes.
As when I acquired T I was only 17, I was very fearful of how it would impact my academic progress. Well after a year of studying with T I can say it definitely impacted my marks and I really did struggle in the early part of last year. I had no drive and no energy to learn due to the T. However I did receive my A level results on Thursday and I'm pleased to say I achieved 3A*s and an A and got into the university of my choice to study a masters in chemical engineering. Personally I see this an even bigger achievement that just gaining those grades as I had to revise for longer and in a more adverse state of mind than the rest of my cohort. The sense of pride after overcoming this adversity is, I imagine, greater than anyone else on result day.
When it comes to hearing protection with T, it is like walking a tight rope. I am a firm believer in over protection can lead to a fear of noise which can be worse than the T itself. It's actually the fear of the T getting worse that inhibits your life, not the sound of T. I ordered a box of skin coloured foam ear plugs about 10 months ago and still haven't got through the 40 pairs. I regularly cut them in half as I find the stubs offer enough protection in most situations without attracting very tiresome questions which I initially felt embarrassed about. My advice is lean on the side of caution but don't let decibel readings take over your life.
In summary, a year on my T is I'd say at a moderate level, I rarely think about it even though I can hear it. I feel happier during an exciting period of my life. I know I'll face many more challenges in the coming years of university life but these I'm sure will be outweighed by fun and enjoyable times.
And finally, if you are reading this new to Tinnitus, my advice is look at how long people have had Tinnitus for on this forum. The vast majority of people posting have had it less than a year. Tinnitustalk is an absolutely brilliant community to help you overcome T but people are often drawn to this forum in their darkest hours. The fact long term suffers are half as frequent as new users proves it only gets better. I now only visit this incredible forum on my bad days so I feel I owe it to new users to remind them with this post I am living proof it gets better. The road to recover is a testing and trying one but perseverance will ensure you reach your desired destination.
Many thanks to all the regular contributors and people who I've had the chance to interact with on this site. You know who you are. You are truly wonderful humans beings.
Many Thanks
Joe
I found that the first three months were where the real improvements with regards to the volume occurred but has steadily decreased continuously until now and I hope that continues. However recently I am not sure if this is just me habituating or still a reduction. However I believe the real healing of T begins long after this initial three month period. I really did struggle at first with the mental side of it. The stress it caused me on top of the sleepless nights was unbearable. As a result I found myself often saying strange things and just genuinely making me unbearable to be around at times. I also struggled with the social aspect initially. I found myself retracting away from social situations simply because of the possible noise levels I'd expose myself to. My peers didn't understand and could be very cruel with their comments and this really did push my mental resolve to breaking point. To say at times I was a sheer wreck would be appropriate however good I became at hiding it. I, in time, began to realise who actually cared for my well-being, I learned I was actually only doing myself harm by retracting from social situations and that my ears aren't as fragile as can first appear at on set of T. I now regularly go out with friends to social events with very little fear of noise. I've learned how to manage in slightly louder environments so I can socialise in an almost unlimited number of ways now. Coffee shops, restaurants, cinemas, pubs and bars and no longer out of bounds. This along with a more consistent pattern of sleep has far improved my well-being and happiness. I feel more like pre T me with each day that passes.
As when I acquired T I was only 17, I was very fearful of how it would impact my academic progress. Well after a year of studying with T I can say it definitely impacted my marks and I really did struggle in the early part of last year. I had no drive and no energy to learn due to the T. However I did receive my A level results on Thursday and I'm pleased to say I achieved 3A*s and an A and got into the university of my choice to study a masters in chemical engineering. Personally I see this an even bigger achievement that just gaining those grades as I had to revise for longer and in a more adverse state of mind than the rest of my cohort. The sense of pride after overcoming this adversity is, I imagine, greater than anyone else on result day.
When it comes to hearing protection with T, it is like walking a tight rope. I am a firm believer in over protection can lead to a fear of noise which can be worse than the T itself. It's actually the fear of the T getting worse that inhibits your life, not the sound of T. I ordered a box of skin coloured foam ear plugs about 10 months ago and still haven't got through the 40 pairs. I regularly cut them in half as I find the stubs offer enough protection in most situations without attracting very tiresome questions which I initially felt embarrassed about. My advice is lean on the side of caution but don't let decibel readings take over your life.
In summary, a year on my T is I'd say at a moderate level, I rarely think about it even though I can hear it. I feel happier during an exciting period of my life. I know I'll face many more challenges in the coming years of university life but these I'm sure will be outweighed by fun and enjoyable times.
And finally, if you are reading this new to Tinnitus, my advice is look at how long people have had Tinnitus for on this forum. The vast majority of people posting have had it less than a year. Tinnitustalk is an absolutely brilliant community to help you overcome T but people are often drawn to this forum in their darkest hours. The fact long term suffers are half as frequent as new users proves it only gets better. I now only visit this incredible forum on my bad days so I feel I owe it to new users to remind them with this post I am living proof it gets better. The road to recover is a testing and trying one but perseverance will ensure you reach your desired destination.
Many thanks to all the regular contributors and people who I've had the chance to interact with on this site. You know who you are. You are truly wonderful humans beings.
Many Thanks
Joe