I don't know what caused my tinnitus. It started with a pain in my ear, I put my finger in to have a rummage about and when I pulled it out I must have created a vacuum which in turn increased the pain to level 5000. The pain quickly subsided to just a dull ache which carried on for a couple of days. I've had my ears syringed in the past and I thought maybe I needed it done again. The first time I had it done the doctor told me to put olive oil drips in my ear for a week prior in order to soften the wax. So I thought I would try that for a couple of days.
I filled up my left ear with olive oil and went to work and forgot about it. Suddenly a loud ringing started which carried on for hours! I started to panic and booked an appointment with an ENT but they couldn't see me for two weeks. So I booked that appointment but also went to a clinic that evening and paid for a specialist to take a look. They saw a huge bit of wax was sitting on my eardrum so used microsuction to extract it and instantly the ringing stopped.
The next night I had a panic attack (I had recently just quit a 10 year addiction to drugs, sorry should have mentioned that) and in the midst of it (my panic attack) my ear started ringing again. This time the pitch was so high it scared the s**t out of me. The pitch was shifting up and down as was the volume. It wasn't really that loud but it seemed to fill my entire head and it was violent!
Needless to say I had a complete meltdown.
This carried on for days and I read nothing but horror stories online. It was awful. I started thinking there would be no hope of having a normal life. Proper gutted. The best it seemed I could hope for is I would "habituate". The thing was my tinnitus was constantly changing in pitch and volume. It would go from fairly mild to insanely viscous like it hated me and wanted me to go completely mad - which I wasn't far from going, partly because of the drugs and alcohol I was withdrawing from and the fact I couldn't sleep.
If I'm scaring anyone don't worry it gets BETTER!
Anyway, I'm going to skip through the next month or so quite quick. I saw an ENT, a Harley street doctor, my GP, a psychiatrist and a neurologist. Not all for the ringing... I went through days of being convinced I had all sorts of illnesses. I had trembling hands, aching legs, aching arms, aching back, aching jaw, muscle cramps, muscle twitches. I was a complete STATE!
All the doctors I saw said the same thing.. I had no hearing loss and no visible damage to my ear and the ringing would "probably" stop within a year. I was diagnosed with sever pathological anxiety – which I was happy about! Once I got this diagnosis I think this is where I started to get a bit better.
First I downloaded white noise apps on my phone. I used these, as well as Youtube nature sounds and tinnitus masking videos, to mask the ringing at night so i could sleep. I also used the app on my phone at work. I work at a desk so I propped my phone up and played white noise throughout the day just loud enough to mask to tinnitus but quiet enough so as not to disturb my colleagues.
Then I came across Julian Cowan Hill's videos on Youtube and these changed everything! He had tinnitus for 16 years and cured himself - twice! Once from stress induced T and then years later from noise induced. I found his videos so relaxing! Look him up! For the first time in months i felt hope. I began seeing Julian for therapy and every session my T would lower in volume. Sometimes just listening to him explains the nature of tinnitus would seemingly lower the volume or at least the aggression of it.
I kept up the therapy for as long as I could, but then Christmas came around and this is where it all changed. I decided to take a holiday. I got out of London, away from my job, my routine and stress and now armed with my white noise apps (for when things got tough) and the understanding and hope that Julian had given me I slowly started to habituate!
I couldn't believe it at first. My brain had always seen the ringing as a threat and had me in high alert mode but now it began to ignore it. It's a very strange feeling. There's this annoying ringing going on in my ear, changing in pitch and aggression and I don't s**t. Then I started noticing hours would go by without it popping up in my mind at all. Then a whole day would go by. I would notice it at night but I was so used to sleeping with the nature sounds or white noise it didn't bother me at all.
Eventually I would have times when I couldn't hear it at all! So I would close all the windows and block my ears and listen and there it was! Perhaps it was there all the time and I was blocking it out?
I want all newbies to take note here... I think it's still there most of the time but it doesn't bother me AT ALL!. When I'm in a silent room sometimes I listen in amazement to it doing its worse and I'm still surprised that I don't care about it in the least... 90% of the time I'm not even thinking about it. 5% of time it pops in and pops out of my mind and the other 5% I put on my white noise app and mask it
At first the sound seemed to fill my whole head and would shoot waves of anxiety through me and now it sounds like it only takes up a small space in my left ear. It's no longer a threat and serves as a reminder to appreciate my health and the good times.
That's it. Sorry it was quite long. I promised myself if it ever went away I would come on here and tell this long story so as to help any newbies through the bad times at the beginning. Well, it hasn't gone but it might as well have because I'm over it!
One last thing, I mentioned it to my mum recently and she says she has the same thing! But it never bothered her. And my mate has got noise induced tinnitus and he's not bothered by it anymore (although he was for quite a while) and my mate at work said he HAD it for years but it slowly faded away - so maybe it will go one day? Whatever though, like I said - I couldn't care less.
Time Frame
7th Sep – T started – I freaked out
Mid Nov – Found Julian on Youtube - started to relax
Late Dec – T stopped bothering me
Mid Jan – Hardly ever thought about it
Mid Feb – Not even aware of it and sometimes go looking for it out of curiosity to check if it's there or not. Most times it is.
I filled up my left ear with olive oil and went to work and forgot about it. Suddenly a loud ringing started which carried on for hours! I started to panic and booked an appointment with an ENT but they couldn't see me for two weeks. So I booked that appointment but also went to a clinic that evening and paid for a specialist to take a look. They saw a huge bit of wax was sitting on my eardrum so used microsuction to extract it and instantly the ringing stopped.
The next night I had a panic attack (I had recently just quit a 10 year addiction to drugs, sorry should have mentioned that) and in the midst of it (my panic attack) my ear started ringing again. This time the pitch was so high it scared the s**t out of me. The pitch was shifting up and down as was the volume. It wasn't really that loud but it seemed to fill my entire head and it was violent!
Needless to say I had a complete meltdown.
This carried on for days and I read nothing but horror stories online. It was awful. I started thinking there would be no hope of having a normal life. Proper gutted. The best it seemed I could hope for is I would "habituate". The thing was my tinnitus was constantly changing in pitch and volume. It would go from fairly mild to insanely viscous like it hated me and wanted me to go completely mad - which I wasn't far from going, partly because of the drugs and alcohol I was withdrawing from and the fact I couldn't sleep.
If I'm scaring anyone don't worry it gets BETTER!
Anyway, I'm going to skip through the next month or so quite quick. I saw an ENT, a Harley street doctor, my GP, a psychiatrist and a neurologist. Not all for the ringing... I went through days of being convinced I had all sorts of illnesses. I had trembling hands, aching legs, aching arms, aching back, aching jaw, muscle cramps, muscle twitches. I was a complete STATE!
All the doctors I saw said the same thing.. I had no hearing loss and no visible damage to my ear and the ringing would "probably" stop within a year. I was diagnosed with sever pathological anxiety – which I was happy about! Once I got this diagnosis I think this is where I started to get a bit better.
First I downloaded white noise apps on my phone. I used these, as well as Youtube nature sounds and tinnitus masking videos, to mask the ringing at night so i could sleep. I also used the app on my phone at work. I work at a desk so I propped my phone up and played white noise throughout the day just loud enough to mask to tinnitus but quiet enough so as not to disturb my colleagues.
Then I came across Julian Cowan Hill's videos on Youtube and these changed everything! He had tinnitus for 16 years and cured himself - twice! Once from stress induced T and then years later from noise induced. I found his videos so relaxing! Look him up! For the first time in months i felt hope. I began seeing Julian for therapy and every session my T would lower in volume. Sometimes just listening to him explains the nature of tinnitus would seemingly lower the volume or at least the aggression of it.
I kept up the therapy for as long as I could, but then Christmas came around and this is where it all changed. I decided to take a holiday. I got out of London, away from my job, my routine and stress and now armed with my white noise apps (for when things got tough) and the understanding and hope that Julian had given me I slowly started to habituate!
I couldn't believe it at first. My brain had always seen the ringing as a threat and had me in high alert mode but now it began to ignore it. It's a very strange feeling. There's this annoying ringing going on in my ear, changing in pitch and aggression and I don't s**t. Then I started noticing hours would go by without it popping up in my mind at all. Then a whole day would go by. I would notice it at night but I was so used to sleeping with the nature sounds or white noise it didn't bother me at all.
Eventually I would have times when I couldn't hear it at all! So I would close all the windows and block my ears and listen and there it was! Perhaps it was there all the time and I was blocking it out?
I want all newbies to take note here... I think it's still there most of the time but it doesn't bother me AT ALL!. When I'm in a silent room sometimes I listen in amazement to it doing its worse and I'm still surprised that I don't care about it in the least... 90% of the time I'm not even thinking about it. 5% of time it pops in and pops out of my mind and the other 5% I put on my white noise app and mask it
At first the sound seemed to fill my whole head and would shoot waves of anxiety through me and now it sounds like it only takes up a small space in my left ear. It's no longer a threat and serves as a reminder to appreciate my health and the good times.
That's it. Sorry it was quite long. I promised myself if it ever went away I would come on here and tell this long story so as to help any newbies through the bad times at the beginning. Well, it hasn't gone but it might as well have because I'm over it!
One last thing, I mentioned it to my mum recently and she says she has the same thing! But it never bothered her. And my mate has got noise induced tinnitus and he's not bothered by it anymore (although he was for quite a while) and my mate at work said he HAD it for years but it slowly faded away - so maybe it will go one day? Whatever though, like I said - I couldn't care less.
Time Frame
7th Sep – T started – I freaked out
Mid Nov – Found Julian on Youtube - started to relax
Late Dec – T stopped bothering me
Mid Jan – Hardly ever thought about it
Mid Feb – Not even aware of it and sometimes go looking for it out of curiosity to check if it's there or not. Most times it is.
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