It looks like I am now dealing with dysacusis / some form of hyperacusis on top of my old hearing loss induced tinnitus (which doesn't bother me), and my new, somatic tinnitus (which I have somewhat habituated to, a month later).
About two weeks after I developed the somatic tinnitus, I started noticing some kind of... I don't know. Light, high pitched (but atonal?) fluttering, or crackling in my left ear. I also noticed that my left ear became somewhat reactive to loud noises. For example, my partner coughing in the same room would startle me.
As the days went by, I started becoming more sensitive to more sounds — things like fans, my microwave, or even music / pink noise at very low volume on my phone's speakers. So much for masking my tinnitus when I need to.
And for the past few days, I've become sensitive to pretty much all sounds. Even voices — my own included. At this point, I'm tempted to wear ear plugs all day long (I already do at night since my partner snores loudly). I don't feel like I'm hearing things louder so much as... I don't know, things sound more sharp? And slightly distorted too, maybe.
It's not that noises are painful, or that they spike my tinnitus. It's like the more I'm exposed to sounds throughout the day, the more irritated my ear (or brain?) becomes sensitive. And what is initially just a fluttering sound in the morning turns into a continuous, 3rd tinnitus and it can get extremely loud. Once it's started, it adds a really high-pitched distortion to every sound I hear.
Oddly enough, the shower helps even though it's loud — I'm not sure whether it's the sound or the heat relaxing my muscles, but it lowers that new sound and the reactivity a little for a short while. It also seems to somewhat reset overnight while I sleep.
I'm seeing the audiologist again next week to run more tests and determine if it's hyperacusis... I spoke to her on the phone yesterday and she seemed a little stumped. Said she would need to consult with her colleagues to get a better idea of what's happening to me. ENT appointment is in two weeks, although I'm not sure how helpful she can be with a case like this.
I've started doing physiotherapy two days ago since the audiologist suspected the somatic tinnitus was caused by TMJ. The physiotherapist seems more inclined to think it's more a cervical spine issue than (just) my jaw. So I'm doing exercises at home in the hopes it improves my situation.
Honestly, I'm feeling so hopeless, sad, depressed. And so scared. Just when I had started habituating to the somatic tinnitus, this happens. The only shred of hope I have is that this reactivity / 3rd tinnitus also seems somatic (it increases in volume when I clench my teeth) and muscle relaxants lower it a little.
I'm trying to use the benzos I was prescribed very sparingly so as to not become dependent on them, but it's hard to resist the temptation as they help with the tinnitus and reactivity. The only other thing that helped me relax was guided meditation... but now it's so irritating to listen to most sounds that I'd rather just avoid it. I do deep breathing exercises instead.
Is there any hope for a case like mine...? I'm trying to stay strong but it's so hard. I can't enjoy most of my favorite things anymore — movies, music, video games... Even reading and drawing, as I have a hard time focusing without background music. So it's getting hard to distract myself. Now I just feel bored, anxious and depressed all the time. I'm not... contemplating suicide but I really hope it doesn't come to that. I absolutely can't imagine living like this for the rest of my life, I'm only 30.
If you guys have any success stories to share, anything positive... I'm all ears. I don't have a lot to hold on to right now, and I feel so al0ne.
Thank you for reading.
About two weeks after I developed the somatic tinnitus, I started noticing some kind of... I don't know. Light, high pitched (but atonal?) fluttering, or crackling in my left ear. I also noticed that my left ear became somewhat reactive to loud noises. For example, my partner coughing in the same room would startle me.
As the days went by, I started becoming more sensitive to more sounds — things like fans, my microwave, or even music / pink noise at very low volume on my phone's speakers. So much for masking my tinnitus when I need to.
And for the past few days, I've become sensitive to pretty much all sounds. Even voices — my own included. At this point, I'm tempted to wear ear plugs all day long (I already do at night since my partner snores loudly). I don't feel like I'm hearing things louder so much as... I don't know, things sound more sharp? And slightly distorted too, maybe.
It's not that noises are painful, or that they spike my tinnitus. It's like the more I'm exposed to sounds throughout the day, the more irritated my ear (or brain?) becomes sensitive. And what is initially just a fluttering sound in the morning turns into a continuous, 3rd tinnitus and it can get extremely loud. Once it's started, it adds a really high-pitched distortion to every sound I hear.
Oddly enough, the shower helps even though it's loud — I'm not sure whether it's the sound or the heat relaxing my muscles, but it lowers that new sound and the reactivity a little for a short while. It also seems to somewhat reset overnight while I sleep.
I'm seeing the audiologist again next week to run more tests and determine if it's hyperacusis... I spoke to her on the phone yesterday and she seemed a little stumped. Said she would need to consult with her colleagues to get a better idea of what's happening to me. ENT appointment is in two weeks, although I'm not sure how helpful she can be with a case like this.
I've started doing physiotherapy two days ago since the audiologist suspected the somatic tinnitus was caused by TMJ. The physiotherapist seems more inclined to think it's more a cervical spine issue than (just) my jaw. So I'm doing exercises at home in the hopes it improves my situation.
Honestly, I'm feeling so hopeless, sad, depressed. And so scared. Just when I had started habituating to the somatic tinnitus, this happens. The only shred of hope I have is that this reactivity / 3rd tinnitus also seems somatic (it increases in volume when I clench my teeth) and muscle relaxants lower it a little.
I'm trying to use the benzos I was prescribed very sparingly so as to not become dependent on them, but it's hard to resist the temptation as they help with the tinnitus and reactivity. The only other thing that helped me relax was guided meditation... but now it's so irritating to listen to most sounds that I'd rather just avoid it. I do deep breathing exercises instead.
Is there any hope for a case like mine...? I'm trying to stay strong but it's so hard. I can't enjoy most of my favorite things anymore — movies, music, video games... Even reading and drawing, as I have a hard time focusing without background music. So it's getting hard to distract myself. Now I just feel bored, anxious and depressed all the time. I'm not... contemplating suicide but I really hope it doesn't come to that. I absolutely can't imagine living like this for the rest of my life, I'm only 30.
If you guys have any success stories to share, anything positive... I'm all ears. I don't have a lot to hold on to right now, and I feel so al0ne.
Thank you for reading.