Please Don't Say Anything Like That Things Will Get Better

[volsung37]

There is some part of you that wants to live @Aschenherz or else you would not be writing to this forum. You must look in deeply to what it is you still love about life and concentrate on that. You are very early into your tinnitus journey. You will discover that you are much stronger and more resilient than you ever thought you were.

 

[billie48]

This pretty lady turned totally deaf since 15 years old. It is bad enough to face a silent world suddently and then she was hit with this loud tinnitus that never goes away. It is hell to face total unmaskable tinnitus 7/24 and possibly for the rest of her young life as there are no outside sounds to mask the harsh T scream. Others would think she must be totally wasted & ruined by such formidable challenge. But instead she said she loves her life despite her T and she accepts her reality of unmaskable T while she continues to pursue her goals in life. She made this short tinnitus film to let others understand what she is facing daily in her life. Yet she lives and enjoys life. She is even fond of diving as you can see her doing some underwater scenes here. So she is an example and guiding light to me in proving that life doesn't have to be ruined or wasted even with unmaskable T. We don't have to let the T bully dominate our lives. Yes the initial period is tough. But if you are willing to try living it with a changed attitude, perhaps life can still be enjoyed despite the challenges of a loud T. Here is Zoe Cartwright's tinnitus film which she directed herself. She titles it 7.24.52.10, meaning her unmaskable T is with her 7/24, 52 weeks a year and for 10 years at the time of this film. Here is the film in her strongly accented English. You can read page 14 & page 15 of the Positivity Thread in the main support forum for detail about her life with T and also the link to the scripts for her film:

 

[Bill Bauer]

During the first month of tinnitus, I found a number of suicide methods (guaranteed to work, and not leave me disabled and helpless to attempt suicide again) on the net. I absolutely relate to how you feel. Having said this, at three months, there is still a very high chance that you will recover, or that T will get quieter and bearable. [I know you asked not to say that things may get better, but this is reality - see my post in "success stories" about statistics regarding fraction that recover.] You can also try things like Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. If it is not available in Germany for T sufferers, you can come to the U.S. and have it done - you have nothing to lose...

 

[Amber]

I even came up with one new way to do it, all on my own.

Please share this

 

[Bill Bauer]

My whole head had a immense pressure, is this normal?

It is not (as far as T is concerned). See a doctor. They can't help with T, but surely they will be able to help with many of your other symptoms.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Please share this

I tried to start a conversation, and I got an error message "You may not start a conversation with Amber because of his or her privacy settings."

 

[Aschenherz]

Hello again, now I finally fight for my life, because I recognized, that it's the only option for me. The last three months were hard and I took decisions that weren't so good for me.

My tinnitus spiked 2 times in these 3 months and now it's nearly unmaskable.

Is it from the monitoring, that it spiked? Am I lost with this very loud noise? It's almost like someone is constantly yelling in my ear.

I want to live a life and take the focus off the tinnitus now, but it's so hard, when you always hear the tone.

I appreciate any advice.

Thank you.

 

[NimQ]

Hello again, now I finally fight for my life, because I recognized, that it's the only option for me. The last three months were hard and I took decisions that weren't so good for me.

My tinnitus spiked 2 times in these 3 months and now it's nearly unmaskable.

Is it from the monitoring, that it spiked? Am I lost with this very loud noise? It's almost like someone is constantly yelling in my ear.

I want to live a life and take the focus off the tinnitus now, but it's so hard, when you always hear the tone.

I appreciate any advice.

Thank you.

It's good to hear that you are back fighting for your life and trying to make it better for yourself. I think this is an important decision and even if it's very hard, don't give up. Sometimes things go worse before they get better, the current dire situation doesn't mean it will always be that way. That's what keeps me going - I hope to be happier and manage T better, and that can only happen if I try to see hope.

So first of all, your mental health comes first. Treating anxiety and depression will very possibly help your T as well, or the perspective of it. T thrives on anxiety and stress, so balancing the nervous system is very important. Are you seeing a therapist or what is your situation?

Furthermore, I am struggling with this very same thing of loud and unmaskable T. It's been less than two weeks when my already problematic T grew in loudness and I got this super high pitch which plays over everything. What kind of tone(s) do you have and is it in both ears? Have you tried masking sound apps? I have one called "White noise" on my phone which includes many different types of sounds (from streaming water to cat purring) and one can create own mixes. I have multiple tones and one sound doesn't cover them all, so I've used a mix of wind chimes + crickets. Well, up until now, since 14k hz T is even harder to mask and trying to find something new.

Another thing that might bring at least some ease and comfort is ACRN, here:
http://generalfuzz.net/acrn/
I open two tabs and for one tab I put my main T in right ear and for the other my main T in left ear. Then play ACRN of them both. It helps me not notice T, even if it sounds like crazy robot birds have invaded my home. Gotta start somewhere! Other things I am trying are Tonal Tinnitus Therapy and Tinnitus Notch, some people find these useful, but can't say yet whether it helps me.

What else... Well, to feel secure I am using supplements which - by the evidence of research - protect hearing. My daily ones are magnesium, vitamin B complex, NAC, zinc and L-carnosine. I believe these at least reduce the risk of further damage. If you start taking supplements - or take them already - and have medication, check with your doctor that they are okay to take.

 

[Aschenherz]

im so sorry to hear that u struggle, too. loudness is indeed a huge role when it comes to suffering.
when i was on predisonol the sound of my t was acceptable.
unfortnuately i came back.

i take an antidepressivent for the depression i currently on. notrypytline. in the clinic the tone became intrusive and i couldn't mask it all day. So the developing of a spike was my fault, i guess?

i have a very loud hissing in my left ear, which took also place in my head and sometimes it switches to my left ear. also a medium high pitched tone in both ears.

i tried the white noise app! was the only thing, that could give me a little relief. acrn is hard for me cuz my audiogram is outdated since the onset of the spike, so i couldn't tell which frequencies have the tones. I realized, that its getting louder, cuz the old tactics aren't working now.

thanks for the post! appreciate it! will try to get more in touch with the app.

how do u tackle it under the day? any advice?

 

[Tom Cnyc]

read some interviews with Jody Wisternoff. Your tinnitus is unlikely to go away, but he is proof that even severe cases can become livable.

 

[NimQ]

im so sorry to hear that u struggle, too. loudness is indeed a huge role when it comes to suffering.
when i was on predisonol the sound of my t was acceptable.
unfortnuately i came back.

i take an antidepressivent for the depression i currently on. notrypytline. in the clinic the tone became intrusive and i couldn't mask it all day. So the developing of a spike was my fault, i guess?

i have a very loud hissing in my left ear, which took also place in my head and sometimes it switches to my left ear. also a medium high pitched tone in both ears.

i tried the white noise app! was the only thing, that could give me a little relief. acrn is hard for me cuz my audiogram is outdated since the onset of the spike, so i couldn't tell which frequencies have the tones. I realized, that its getting louder, cuz the old tactics aren't working now.

thanks for the post! appreciate it! will try to get more in touch with the app.

how do u tackle it under the day? any advice?

Developing of a T spike is most definitely not your fault. No one knows for sure which things affect T and which are safe - it's a game of guessing. One can only try to be cautious about loud noises and protect hearing, really. Even then it's hard to predict situations and it is the worst feeling to blame oneself. We can only try our best, after all.

ACRN was hard for me too, since I couldn't find the audiogram stating my T frequencies and now even more so, since they have changed. I worked through it just playing different frequencies and trying to find a match. For some reason my T kind of reacts to its exact frequency. So when I hit 14k for example, my right T "crackles" a bit and also sounds alike. Same with left ear, the T frequency makes this "echo" in my ear and that's how I know I've found it. Sounds really weird, but at least it helps me to determine right sounds.

How do I tackle it... I really don't know, I am trying to pull myself together from the latest setback. It would feel so easy to just jump into the pit and suffer there, so I try to climb out. For me it means that I try to do things I enjoy... Just try to find happiness again from the tiniest and smallest things; whether it's a good meal or watching your favorite TV series. We are already suffering, we don't want to churn in it - so whenever you feel sinking into it, try to think what would be the smallest thing you could do to cheer yourself up. I can't find enough hope and courage in me to make any big future plans or wish for grand things, so gotta just take baby steps.

Stopping to have a fight with T is big part of this. Accepting that it is there, for now - and that we can't know or do anything on whether it is there tomorrow or next year, so why battle it. A good advice here was that when ever you notice your T, don't try to measure it and obsess whether it is louder or milder. Rather forget all about that and measure what happens inside you; i.e. how does the T make you feel. That helps you to separate T and emotional reaction, since they are not the same.

Actually writing these is helpful to me as well, since after the setback I kind of begun to forget it all and go towards despair myself... Perhaps not all is lost

 

[Candy]

What country are u in? In the U.K. Many therapists will work over Skype, mine does...only issue is the expense.

 

[Hadassah]

I'm very sorry that you're struggling with T so much. I have severe T and find that sometimes it seems unbearable and I just want it to go away. I used to tell my husband, "I just want a 10 minute reprieve from the noise!" It can be such a difficult malady, however ...

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor who teaches clients on a daily basis Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques to assist with managing an array of issues AND have found CBT to be essential for me in managing my T. It sounds like you've tried CBT, but I want to encourage you to be very intentional and diligent in applying the principles, frequently.

I'll be very transparent and share a personal example of how this looks for me:

I'm relaxing in my living room with my husband after a long day of work when wham! my T suddenly becomes very loud! My first instinct is to "give in" to the sense of panic this intensity of T creates in me and become distraught and begin self-talk messages such as, "I can't take this - I can't live like this!", "This is too much for me! The noise is so loud - I just want it to stop!", "How am I going to do this?" AND the biggest fear inducer "What if it keeps getting louder and never stops? What then?"

Yikes!! None of that is helpful at all. What is helpful, however, is self-talk like this (and I really do talk to myself out loud because it really forces me to hear the words, not just think them) ... "Mina, you've been through this before and things have been fine. I know it's uncomfortable and can be scary, but you'll be okay. It will quiet down soon and things will be okay" AND then I intentionally distract myself by engaging in a conversation with my husband, playing with my dogs, or going out on my deck ... Anything to take my mind away from it.

My Tinnitus has only been severe for a few months, so managing it at this level is still fairly new for me, but for each day that passes, I have greater control over it.

I've only been on this site for one week and, already, it has been helpful and encouraging to me, particularly as I read about habituating. Wow! That creates in me a sense of gratitude and HOPE!!

I'll be praying for you to find relief and rediscover joy, Aschenherz, because life can be very beautiful, even with tinnitus. May you find hope again! Be blessed!