Member- Apr 30, 2014
- 533
- Tinnitus Since
- 04/2014 (many increases since then)
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Progressive hearing loss / noise / ETD
I don't give out this personal poem often, but I might as well stop holding onto it as I have for years. Maybe it'll help someone. Or, if I'm gone someday, a piece of me will not be locked away forever 
"I live with entire universes inside of me" - a poem by me
I live with entire universes inside of me.
I once heard a story within a story about a man
who had a whole universe in his throat.
The universes inside me are vast and filled
with dreams as numerous as the stars.
They go on endlessly; fueled by possibilities
And ignited by a fool's hope that, one day,
I will stretch out my hands to the endless sky,
Open my mouth,
And a thousand little stars will escape my lips,
Like lights in the darkness,
Reminding the soul searchers,
The story tellers, the music makers:
We are more than just lumps of flesh on this floating rock.
*
But, the clouds cover the sky
and life rains down torment like tar,
Clogging my throat,
Filling my lungs,
Weighing me down,
Until I sit in the bowels of the earth
Where the sunshine can only be seen
In reflections, hints,
And memories of what used to be.
Choking on those universes,
I watch the dreams turn to dust
Becoming sand through the hourglass,
Marking time wasted and time lost.
Gasping for air, I cannot feel
Where the dreams end and the sorrows begin.
Hope has always been mingled with grief,
But, here, they are one and the same.
*
Still, I open my mouth.
Coming up for air,
I find small moments as sweet as oxygen;
New fuel where the old has failed,
Reminding me what created that spark in the first place.
I choke, groan, and exhale,
Eyes showing those clouds what real rain looks like.
Sometimes little stars escape in wisps
Too small to be noticed by anyone but me.
Sometimes whole planets break free
And I give them a new name;
Whispers of an inner world
Belonging not to me but someone only I know;
A life that is not mine, not real,
Yet through it I can truly divine what it is to feel;
My pain apart from myself
So that I do not have to bear it alone.
*
I live with entire universes inside of me
And more are created,
Even as the others implode.
I live with entire universes inside of me.
I once heard a story within a story about a man
who had a whole universe in his throat.
The universes inside me are vast and filled
with dreams as numerous as the stars.
They go on endlessly; fueled by possibilities
And ignited by a fool's hope that, one day,
I will stretch out my hands to the endless sky,
Open my mouth,
And a thousand little stars will escape my lips,
Like lights in the darkness,
Reminding the soul searchers,
The story tellers, the music makers:
We are more than just lumps of flesh on this floating rock.
*
But, the clouds cover the sky
and life rains down torment like tar,
Clogging my throat,
Filling my lungs,
Weighing me down,
Until I sit in the bowels of the earth
Where the sunshine can only be seen
In reflections, hints,
And memories of what used to be.
Choking on those universes,
I watch the dreams turn to dust
Becoming sand through the hourglass,
Marking time wasted and time lost.
Gasping for air, I cannot feel
Where the dreams end and the sorrows begin.
Hope has always been mingled with grief,
But, here, they are one and the same.
*
Still, I open my mouth.
Coming up for air,
I find small moments as sweet as oxygen;
New fuel where the old has failed,
Reminding me what created that spark in the first place.
I choke, groan, and exhale,
Eyes showing those clouds what real rain looks like.
Sometimes little stars escape in wisps
Too small to be noticed by anyone but me.
Sometimes whole planets break free
And I give them a new name;
Whispers of an inner world
Belonging not to me but someone only I know;
A life that is not mine, not real,
Yet through it I can truly divine what it is to feel;
My pain apart from myself
So that I do not have to bear it alone.
*
I live with entire universes inside of me
And more are created,
Even as the others implode.
