There's a burden and a weight to having depression and/or anxiety. Even the glasses on your face can feel heavy. Your sweaty shirt makes you want to lay down. Take that shit off and crawl through an air-conditioned hallway. Move in with a relative and let all your subscriptions run out. Whatever it takes. Force yourself to do the dishes every night. Force yourself to ignore your friend or call your friend or make a friend or fight your friend. Tyler and I wrote the lyrics to this song, "I Can Be Afraid Of Anything".
I started taking medication for my mental health and saw how buried in worry my everyday consciousness had been. Getting help is the best thing a person can do for oneself. It's the feeling of waking up as an adult with joy or contentment and not hating each day just for being there to weigh you down in the morning.
Once you figure out how long you've gone and how much you've missed, you'll wonder what took you so long to seek help. But, it's only now that you have that motivation; now that you're doing better. There's nothing easy about this.