Problems with Libido — There's Nothing Sexy About Tinnitus!

[Lurius]

I didn't check if there was a thread for this already, but I feel like I have to bring this up, even if it's a little awkward.

Ever since I got tinnitus some 13 months ago, my sexual function has gone. Before it was working a little too well, actually, but now I'm having trouble "getting it up" from time to time and my general sexual interest in women has more or less evaporated. For a while I questioned my sexual orientation, but it seems there's no change there either. My psychiatrist says its probably due to "stress", but that answer doesn't sit very well with me. Porn does nothing for me anymore, we're talking zip. Nada. Tbh, porn comes off as just extremely awkward to me now, it's like I can see the "strings behind the puppets" in a way.

Did anyone else experience this? Has anyone been through it and then it got better? I have to add that even though I'm not getting those strong sexual desires I used to have, I still feel very strongly about intimacy with women, so maybe it's not completely gone. I'm hoping this is just a phase or that at least, it will go away when my tinnitus goes away. I'm not ashamed or anything like that since it's not really my fault, but I'm still pretty young so I want to be able to experience this stuff for a while longer.

 

[JohnAdams]

I feel so,
sexeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

[Daniel Lion]

I didn't check if there was a thread for this already, but I feel like I have to bring this up, even if it's a little awkward.

Ever since I got tinnitus some 13 months ago, my sexual function has gone. Before it was working a little too well, actually, but now I'm having trouble "getting it up" from time to time and my general sexual interest in women has more or less evaporated. For a while I questioned my sexual orientation, but it seems there's no change there either. My psychiatrist says its probably due to "stress", but that answer doesn't sit very well with me. Porn does nothing for me anymore, we're talking zip. Nada. Tbh, porn comes off as just extremely awkward to me now, it's like I can see the "strings behind the puppets" in a way.

Did anyone else experience this? Has anyone been through it and then it got better? I have to add that even though I'm not getting those strong sexual desires I used to have, I still feel very strongly about intimacy with women, so maybe it's not completely gone. I'm hoping this is just a phase or that at least, it will go away when my tinnitus goes away. I'm not ashamed or anything like that since it's not really my fault, but I'm still pretty young so I want to be able to experience this stuff for a while longer.

Porn is lame... first and foremost, don't bother with it. Tinnitus has messed with my libido which was raging... no doubt. Having said that...

Exercise, get lots of protein and you'll get your mojo back... whether you want to shag guys or girls or anything in between, don't worry. Don't jerk off too much, eat well, eat meat, and you'll be a sex machine like James Brown. Give it a shot.

 

[JohnAdams]

Porn is lame

Porn is a dangerous subversion of human nature being pushed on humanity to destroy the family. It creates unrealistic expectations. It alters the human mind in an unhealthy way. Porn actresses are taken advantage of. Children can easily get access to porn. Not only that, merely looking at a person out of lust that isn't your spouse is adultery, a mortal sin.

 

[Daniel Lion]

Porn is a dangerous subversion of human nature being pushed on humanity to destroy the family. It creates unrealistic expectations. It alters the human mind in an unhealthy way. Porn actresses are taken advantage of. Children can easily get access to porn. Not only that, merely looking at a person out of lust that isn't your spouse is adultery, a mortal sin.

Agree with everything, except the last sentence. But hey, 90 out of 100 percent ain't bad.
Take care brother.

 

[GoatSheep]

4 months in and from day one I've lost all interest in sex.

 

[Daniel Lion]

4 months in and from day one I've lost all interest in sex.

Dude, benzos kill sex drive. Lose the benzos, sex drive will be back.
My own scientific experiment. Your brain is in trauma, give it time, it will come back...

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I am glad there is porn, as for me that's the only source to get sexual pleasure, I will never have a love life with another person.

That's just how it is, and I have accepted that.

I am not capable or willing to enter into a relationship (not only due to tinnitus but a bunch of other issues).

 

[Daniel Lion]

I am glad there is porn, as for me that's the only source to get sexual pleasure, I will never have a love life with another person.

That's just how it is, and I have accepted that.

I am not capable or willing to enter into a relationship (not only due to tinnitus but a bunch of other issues).

Cool, I can totally respect that.

Sex is a very individual thing, that should lack judgements. JohnAdams' comments about exploitation and children are serious issues. So long as the sex is consensual and people are not being exploited, this is ideal.

Peace be with you TheDanishGirl, no judgments here...

 

[Juan]

I didn't check if there was a thread for this already, but I feel like I have to bring this up, even if it's a little awkward.

Ever since I got tinnitus some 13 months ago, my sexual function has gone. Before it was working a little too well, actually, but now I'm having trouble "getting it up" from time to time and my general sexual interest in women has more or less evaporated. For a while I questioned my sexual orientation, but it seems there's no change there either. My psychiatrist says its probably due to "stress", but that answer doesn't sit very well with me. Porn does nothing for me anymore, we're talking zip. Nada. Tbh, porn comes off as just extremely awkward to me now, it's like I can see the "strings behind the puppets" in a way.

Did anyone else experience this? Has anyone been through it and then it got better? I have to add that even though I'm not getting those strong sexual desires I used to have, I still feel very strongly about intimacy with women, so maybe it's not completely gone. I'm hoping this is just a phase or that at least, it will go away when my tinnitus goes away. I'm not ashamed or anything like that since it's not really my fault, but I'm still pretty young so I want to be able to experience this stuff for a while longer.

Maybe that's stress, or maybe some med you are taking?

My sex life was pretty good, even having very bad hyperacusis.

 

[tiniturtle]

A number of drugs will cause this, so will stress and anxiety. Remove those factors, and you will recover.

 

[Michael B]

I agree with your doc. Sounds like stress.

 

[Kai Love]

@Lurius - I am sorry to hear you are struggling with this, and I am familiar with it as well. First, I would ask, how is your sleep? Testosterone and growth hormone are released when sleeping (giving more Test and GH in your system). Both testosterone and growth hormone our tied to our sexual function. It takes about 4.5 hrs to get fully through a REM sleep cycle.

With tinnitus (T), I wake up quite often and do not make it through a long cycle (missing out on the many benefits of REM). I observe the effects on my sexual interest as well. Once I get a decent nights sleep, things are much better. I would love to get 9 hrs with T, however I have not been successful as of yet, but have had a couple 4-5 hr cycles which have helped me with my sexual function and sense of wellbeing (less stressed).

How to optimize your sleep cycle:
- Drink water and teas earlier in the day. Make sure you are well hydrated throughout the day, but limit yourself in the evening. You don't want to go to bed thirsty, however you do not want to be waking up every couple hours disturbing your sleep cycle.
- Try a warm shower before bed. The cooling effect will signal your body that it is time for sleep.
- Eliminate light pollution. Sleep in a dark room that is cool and comfortable.
- Change/wash your sheets, especially if allergens or similar effect you. Sometimes a change helps. I enjoy fresh sheets.
- Limit your exposure to blue light at least an hour before bed. There are filters etc for this. Avoid all electronics an hour before bed if you can. (I have trouble with this as it is currently NFL season & the Rugby World Cup and my wife and I watch matches late).
- Similar to the above, try avoiding fluorescent lights, and choose amber/warm color lighting (light similar to a natural wood fire).
- Do not eat dinner too late (with a large late meal), but also do not go to bed feeling hungry.
- Avoid gas forming foods at dinner/late.
- No caffeine after 2 pm (based on 8 hrs, going to bed at 10 pm). However, occasionally I have bit a of coffee late (say 6pm) and I sleep well. More often then not, coffee late is a negative for me.
- Sound masking/nature sounds. I use the free "Rain Rain" app (Apple & Android). The Mississippi Nights and Cicadas mix worked for me last night (both in the free version).

Possibly, your sleep is fine. If so, great, and I hope the tips are useful for others. Stress and anxiety do not help the situation as well.

If you are sleeping well, and your stress is under control, I would then ask about your exercise. When you exercise, whether anaerobic or aerobic, more testosterone is produced. However, do not overdo it as over exercise can lead you to a fatigued and stressed state. Adopt a moderate philosophy around working out, and try to have fun doing it. A moderate hike in a beautiful natural setting would be one ideal scenario.

On to the next point - your diet. Eat quality meats (e.g. a good grass fed steak or lamb) and vegetables and try to maintain a well balanced diet. Maybe some wild caught salmon for Omega 3's, or at minimum a quality Omega 3 supplement. If you are having digestion issues, try supplementing and cycling with a quality probiotic.

Sometimes I take Lavender to help relax, however it also makes me less interested sexually. Similar to what others mentioned with medication being detrimental to their sex drive.

I typically drink 1 cup of coffee/day (a pour-over of yummy organic dark roast). Going to 2 cups will sometimes provide an extra rush of sexual energy for me. However, I try to avoid this as too much caffeine and too often is a bit of an overload for my system. A good amount of quality dark chocolate does the same for me as well.

Lastly, avoid 'testing' your sexual interest (e.g. checking often to see if something makes you excited). Give yourself a break for 7-10 days, go be social and carefree (laughing and having fun) while also following what might apply to you above. Sleep is #1. Diet #2. Exercise #3. Relax, and breath deeply. Oh, and find a reason to laugh and be thankful everyday with a carefree attitude.

I am interested to hear how your sleep has been or if any of the above is relevant to your situation -- if you wouldn't mind sharing. Thank you, and wishing you the best.

 

[KMc24]

To be honest I am experiencing the same thing. When I first developed tinnitus my libido tanked. There are moments when I feel like myself again, but they are fleeting. I do believe that stress, and sleep deprivation is mostly the cause of this. When I am relaxed, and well rested I feel restored. This is mostly on the weekends, and vacations when I can sleep in. I thought I was the only one with this issue. Tinnitus' effects are far reaching.

 

[annV]

I am glad there is porn, as for me that's the only source to get sexual pleasure, I will never have a love life with another person.

That's just how it is, and I have accepted that.

I am not capable or willing to enter into a relationship (not only due to tinnitus but a bunch of other issues).

I always thought you wouldn't watch porn, glad to hear you do.

 

[Chester]

Affected a bit only in the first three months, frome then on, smooth sailing. Going very strong now as my Tinnitus is non-existent.

 

[Juan]

Actually I think sex is good for H and T. It is generally good for everything!

 

[linearb]

Sex and orgasm in general have always been a great escape from this nonsense for me. Also some reasons to think that oxytocin from sex might be directly beneficial.

Basically, keep trying

 

[Jazzer]

I am glad there is porn, as for me that's the only source to get sexual pleasure, I will never have a love life with another person.

That's just how it is, and I have accepted that.

I am not capable or willing to enter into a relationship (not only due to tinnitus but a bunch of other issues).

Very best wishes DG.
I admire you for your honesty.
I'd really like to give you a 'Hug'
love
Dave x
Jazzer

 

[Hotspur2931]

You don't say whether you've experienced anxiety or depression along with your tinnitus, but I imagine they are present, as they are for most people on here. I think it's really normal to experience loss of libido, along with loss of interest in other things in life, alongside these conditions. Mine is definitely down, but has improved since my worst days with tinnitus. I'm sure you'll get it back, as the rest of your life gradually recovers.

Personally I've found that physical intimacy is one of the few things that really takes my mind off my tinnitus. It's all about getting out of your head and into your body. Unfortunately it doesn't come along all that often for me! But you don't need a libido to enjoy cuddles and stuff, so I'd say just go for it when you get the chance, but don't try and force it and don't stress if you can't get it up or whatever. It will sort itself out in time.

Best of luck to you!

 

[Bobby B]

Are you still getting nocturnal/morning erections? This is a good way to gauge if it's not hormonal. You can increase testosterone by doing weightlifting. Some foods, supplements, and meds (benzos etc...) can affect libido. Avoid soy based drinks.