Progressive Tinnitus 5+ Years... VSED

[Carlos]

Heads up, I'd like to kindly ask any member with a hall of fame, ambassador, or team research badge to not reply, I feel you are the first to respond because you have badges, points, and ratings as your first priority, thanks.

Questons for anyone with tinnitus for over 8-15 years, how has your tinnitus changed? Has it progressively gotten worse? what is the usual stretch amount of time between noticeable damage?

I have had t. for 8 years and this last year it changed for the extreme worse and Im trying to figure if I should be expecting gradual amounts of damage and added tones. The last 7 months, my t's tones have been fluctuating but overall extremely worse then where I was a year ago. A year ago, I could live with t., even felt like I could reach my dreams, as cheesy as that sounds, but after this year I feel I have passed my limit, keep in mind I've had t. for 8 years, Im no rookie to emotional rollercoaster and suicidal tendencies.

I would really appreciate some real answers from long term sufferers above 10 years....please.

VSED, I have been looking into it and I think its the best solution for me for when the time comes when I can no longer pretend to be fine, or have the ability to sleep past 4 hours, I'm close to getting there. I only eat once a day, its been quite a long time now that I have lost my appetite, water would be my only problem. But my question is, if this solution is taken seriously, should it be discussed with the primary doctor? I know a DNR (do not resuscitate) form is needed, is there a way to fill this form out and just drop it off for the doctor to see without discussing my personal reason for it or is this a form that has to be submitted with health insurance? Will this information affect status of health insurance? When the moment comes, is hospice care required?

 

[linearb]

hi Carlos,

I've had tinnitus since 1999; it's only worsened permanently once, as a result of a pretty severe acoustic trauma. Stress and various drugs have caused temporary spikes of one kind or another.

I don't think this is the correct forum for your other questions; it sounds like you have severe psychological distress that needs to be treated with compassion in the real world. But, this forum is here to provide support for living a rich life in spite of tinnitus, not to help people figure out the paperwork of not being here anymore.

Your other issues CAN be addressed; I personally had severe sleep disruption for years. I sleep 7-9 hours a night now, no drugs or masking/etc. It can be done, and if you can straighten your sleep out, it's going to make a world of difference in how you feel.

Heads up, I'd like to kindly ask any member with a hall of fame, ambassador, or team research badge to not reply, I feel you are the first to respond because you have badges, points, and ratings as your first priority, thanks

I realize you're suffering, but this is pretty disrespectful to the team here. People have only gotten those "badges, points and ratings" by being here to help people.

 

[linearb]

also... VSED has mostly been suggested as a tool to increase the medical acceptance of euthanasia, the idea being that when doctors see how horrible it is to die from VSED, they will be more apt to accept pharmacological suicide. VSED is a slow and relatively painful and awful way to die, as far as I can tell.

 

[Carlos]

Clearly you took no consideration in reading my heads up. Support comes in the form of information sharing that can be useful to the person asking for it. You are exacty what I was avoiding, I dont want a lecture from a know it all, Im sure there are many who wouldnt be responding to help right away were there no point or badge system. Having those badges means nothing to me really, and I made it clear. I find there are more genuine answers from people who can care less about that system. I think you are scared of my questions because you fear death, not everyone thinks the same, not every idea is univeral to the world, I fear the future a lot more then anything else right now.

 

[gotyoubynuts]

My question is why would you choose going down the route of VSED when you could just buy drugs and fatally overdose?

I have heard dying from dehydration is the most awful kind of death. Why would you put yourself through that? A last punishment on earth?

Don't you love yourself Carlos?

 

[linearb]

Clearly you took no consideration in reading my heads up. Support comes in the form of information sharing that can be useful to the person asking for it. You are exacty what I was avoiding, I dont want a lecture from a know it all, Im sure there are many who wouldnt be responding to help right away were there no point or badge system. Having those badges means nothing to me really, and I made it clear. I find there are more genuine answers from people who can care less about that system. I think you are scared of my questions because you fear death, not everyone thinks the same, not every idea is univeral to the world, I fear the future a lot more then anything else right now.

Telling someone how to kill themselves through an online is not, in general, "supportive". I'm not opposed to suicide, physician assisted or otherwise; however, you will be very very hard pressed to find anyone in that community who would approve of blind (internet) information sharing with people in distress states which might have other solutions.

I am not trying to give you a lecture, I am suggesting that the absolute despair you are feeling now is something that many people here have felt at times, and which can to some extent be overcome or simply endured until it's no longer as burning.

Having badges means nothing to me, either; I have simply had this condition for a long time, and posted here, and the forum software being used tracks post counts/etc. You are statistically a lot more likely to get replies from people who post a lot, than from people who don't. Do you think you would be getting better advice from some sixteen year old whose ears are ringing because they dropped too much acid at a bassnectar show? If so, you could try Reddit.

I'm not scared of your questions, they are nothing new, and are basically boring to me. On the other hand, your suffering is very real, sounds very painful, and can probably be reduced (again, to some extent) by means a lot less drastic than quasi-legalized suicide.

tl;dr this is a support forum so if what you really want is good information about how to painfully die of thirst, you are in the wrong place.

 

[GregCA]

I don't have answers for you Carlos, but I'm curious as to the steps you've taken to address your condition. T can be a painful (and sometimes debilitating) symptom, and I feel that going down the "learn to live with it" path that doctors want us to go down makes us forego other options that could help if not cure us, at least provide some kind of relief.

You state in your profile that your T is due to noise pollution. Do you mean an acoustic trauma? It would help if you could provide a little more detail about your T and specifically what you've done to debug it.

 

[Kane Moffat]

The people with the badges have them BECAUSE they are the first to help. They don't answer people to get badges, it's just a byproduct of being a helpful and committed member of the forum.

I understand you may be frustrated but these guys are by far the most qualified to answer your questions. I've only had T for a year and a half, although it seems progressive to me.

 

[Mario martz]

Carlos, you might not need my opinion on this.
and i haven have tinnitus for more than 6 months.
but i think this is the worst time in world history to give up.
you tinnitus might have a solution/Relief in the upcoming months/years.
there is research and studies right now for drugs to treat hearing damage.

if you have been dealing with this for more than 8 years, you are a true warrior.
and you can do this for a little more, but thats my opinion.

love you self and do it for you

 

[volsung37]

VSED sounds a terrible way to go both for yourself and for those that care for you. There are much easier ways to end your life that perhaps won't leave so much trauma for those who care for you both emotionally and professionally.
Tinnitus is hellish and I fully understand where you are coming from but please consider the effects your actions can have on those around you.

 

[Kar4]

Here, almost 11 years.
It gets worse last year, although audio testing shows very similar results as in 2005. I mean worse in the way, that attacks of worse condition lasts not for one day, but week, for example. (And now it comes to my mind: can it be because metabolism is slowing down??)
My friend has T for about 25 years (caused by accoustic trauma at military service, 75% hearing down on one ear). Still the same, he lives quite happy life, many hobbies.
Also my former colleague: about 20 years, still the same. Although he had problems in life (fought alcohol addiction), but not related to T.
Bad thing is, that I cannot say if it is worse or not (in normal stadium) I simply can´t remember how it was 10 years ago. I remember my feelings, but that´s all. Not objective about real condition. 5 years with tinnitus, my life was good. 5 more years, I feel bad, but, reason is not T at all - it is just piece of puzzle. It is my life situation overall causing I am not happy. (And writing about it in this forum. Just need to share my thoughts.)

P.S. Sorry for bad English, I am not a native speaker.

 

[Carlos]

I just dont want to die alone, I dont want anyone to suffer finding my remains, I want to get my affairs in order, I want to be able to say goodbye to those I love and express how much they mean to me. There is very little options in the US for those of us experiencing ongoing mental suffering. I wish I was born in Belgium, and could exercise the rights and laws they practice, but I cant, Im restricted to US laws.