Prolonged Noise — Battling with Guilt, Variety of Disturbing Tinnitus of Sounds in Both Ears and How to Proceed

[faithup]

Greetings all,

I recently discovered this forum while dealing with revelations about the worsening of my severe tinnitus. The condition, caused by prolonged noise exposure and preventable activities, has been overwhelming. I do not wish to burden you with my personal concerns, but I wanted to post this for future reference. I apologize if this is lengthy or overly self-focused as I am currently in a state of panic and depression.

I wish I had found this forum earlier. After reading many posts here, I realize my coping methods for tinnitus have been harmful, causing additional trauma. For context, I have a long history of chronic stress, OCD, anxiety, and depression that has not been treated with medication. I have been diagnosed with PTSD due to past health-related anxieties. Historically, I would recover from these episodes without addressing root causes. Physically, I deal with excessive earwax, constant ear pressure, jaw-related clicking and cracking, misophonia triggered by certain sounds, and chronic swallowing or popping of my eustachian tubes.

Background on Noise Exposure

During the pandemic, I adopted several dogs, including Chihuahua mixes and one large dog, and took up motorcycling as a new interest. I purchased two motorcycles in 2020 and 2021, one of which had a modified exhaust. Unaware of the dangers, I rode these motorcycles weekly, sometimes on freeways, for 1.5 to 2 hours without ear protection. The exhaust likely produced noise levels of 110 to 120 decibels. I did not know such exposure could cause tinnitus or that ear protection was necessary.

I also used a HEPA filter in my bedroom during the pandemic to mask sounds from a noisy relative. This relative's constant nose blowing and utensil clinking triggered my misophonia.

Tinnitus Onset and Initial Steps

In late 2021, I noticed a faint ringing in my right ear at night, even with the HEPA filter running. An ENT evaluated me in early 2022 with normal results on an audiogram and tympanometry. They suggested sound masking at night but did not test for high-frequency hearing loss or warn me about the impact of motorcycle noise.

In 2022, I contracted COVID-19 twice and another viral infection, which may have aggravated the tinnitus. By summer 2023, I noticed a fluctuating, vibrating hum in my left ear. Plugging the ear with a finger silences it. The hum also diminishes in response to low-frequency sounds. I suspect somatic tinnitus because certain movements, like clenching my teeth or pressing specific neck areas, alter the sound.

Recent Developments

By late 2024, after continued motorcycle use and blasting the HEPA filter, my tinnitus worsened. A new audiogram showed a 5 to 10 decibel drop across several frequencies in both ears, though still within the normal range. I also bought a used convertible with a modified exhaust, unknowingly exposing myself to more harmful noise.

Over time, I became sensitive to high-pitched sounds, particularly in my left ear. I also noticed that masking sounds, such as white noise, were no longer effective, making my tinnitus more distressing. My brain MRI, done without contrast, returned normal results.

Recent Changes and Challenges

Two months ago, I stopped exposing myself to noise from vehicles. Recently, I switched from white noise masking to sound enrichment with lower-volume nature sounds. This change has disrupted my sleep, causing me to wake up with louder tinnitus or even ear pain, particularly when lying on my side.

Compounding this issue, I once used pure tones at high volumes to test my hearing via YouTube and headphones, an act I now deeply regret. I feel guilty and ashamed for the damage I have unknowingly caused.

Seeking Guidance

1. Sound Machine Positioning: I have three mini sound machines in my bedroom, set slightly below my tinnitus volume. However, during the night, the tinnitus becomes more pronounced. Can anyone suggest proper placement or adjustments to make them more effective?
   
   
2. Side-Sleeping Challenges: Tinnitus in both ears worsens when pressed against the pillow. Would an adjustable bed help? I am considering this to enable sleeping in an elevated position.
   
   
3. Dual-Tone Enrichment: My left ear has a low-frequency hum with some ringing, while my right ear has high-pitched ringing around 14500 Hz. Should I use two different sound enrichment devices for these distinct tones?
   
   
4. Neck and Posture Rehabilitation: I suspect my somatic tinnitus may benefit from addressing poor posture and neck alignment. Can anyone recommend exercises or treatments for this?
   
   
5. Dog-Related Noise: My dogs' barking has become a significant stressor, given my tinnitus and hyperacusis. I love them dearly but feel overwhelmed. How can I balance protecting my hearing while keeping them?

Final Thoughts

I have contacted audiologists and doctors, but the holiday season has delayed responses. I am considering TRT and CBT for long-term management but need immediate relief to regain stability. While I have avoided medications so far, the distress has led to insomnia and depressive thoughts.

I deeply regret the choices that led me here, but I am determined to adapt and build resilience. If anyone has insights, guidance, or resources, I would be profoundly grateful.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I wish you all a blessed and peaceful journey.

Alex

 

[Cmspgran]

Hi Alex,

First of all, do not blame yourself. We have all felt the same way and regretted our decisions. When I think back to the countless gigs standing by speakers, blasting my car stereo and iPod day after day, I cringe. However, are these things not normal? Millions of people do the same thing every single day, and there just is not enough education or guidance about the damage it can cause.

Secondly, TRT does not really do anything. It is essentially glorified sound enrichment (which you are already doing) with a huge price tag attached. CBT might be helpful for managing anxiety and stress. Personally, I did not find it useful, but others do. If you have discovered your tinnitus frequencies, your idea of playing multiple matching white noise tones is worth trying. Dale Snale's channel on YouTube is great for this.

If the noise machines are waking you up at night, they are probably doing more harm than good. You might want to consider some form of medication. Avoid SSRIs, as they can potentially make tinnitus worse. Over-the-counter sleep aids might help initially, and you could then ask your doctor to trial you on something like Nortriptyline or Gabapentin. There is plenty of information about these options on these boards.

For inspiration, I recommend reading some of @MindOverMatter's or @billie48's posts.

As for your dogs, I completely understand the dilemma as an animal lover myself. Could you consider getting custom molded earplugs to wear around them?

 

[faithup]

Thank you for your comforting message about not blaming myself. It means a lot. Everything I did seemed to worsen my hearing, and it's been difficult not to dwell on that.

I'm familiar with Dalesnale's sound videos, but I'm now focusing on more natural sounds.

I'll definitely look into custom-molded earplugs. However, I've read that for hyperacusis, it might be wise to avoid relying too much on hearing protection. When I used to wear earplugs while riding, it made me much more aware of my tinnitus, which wasn't helpful.

Thanks for sharing the links to the two posters. I'll check them out!

Best!