I feel traumatized from how I got the tinnitus, and damaged my ears.
I don't know if I would call it PTSD, but I get flashbacks to the incident (3 months) ago, every day, and also in the morning when I wake up. I feel like I kind of sacrificed some of my hearing in the moment, because of stupid shit, like not wanting "to look stupid" with earplugs, etc. Something I regretted the next day immediately, before I noticed any tinnitus.
To give away some of the hearing for some kind of in the moment thing, is not good a good swap. I feel super stupid about it, and have everyday thought back at how stupid I was, especially since I had gotten earplugs beforehand and everything.
I guess I can learn from it, and as long as my hearing won't get worse until I am old, then I will be good.
And as long as my tinnitus won't get worse, I will manage all good.
But, I used up all my extra lives in this really stupid moment, and I am traumatized over how I could be ok with that in the moment, and I am afraid I will do more stupid shit that will lead into permanent problems.
That being said, I probably did not think the damage was as bad as it was in the moment, but yeah, I regret it really hard, and it is really traumatizing.