Screaming Tinnitus Disappeared Completely After 2 Years

I'm going through a very bad relapse right now – due to an accidental acoustic trauma (outside of my ability to anticipate).

Fortunately, my hyperacusis didn't come back and my left ear still seems to be clear of any tinnitus. My right ear is absolutely killing me, though.

I've been suffering from tinnitus for almost 4 years, but I managed to reach a pretty good place after about 3 or 3.5 years. Hyperacusis was gone, and the tinnitus volume seemed to have settled at something quite manageable. I wouldn't notice it for long stretches of times, and when I did, I was at peace with it.

At the moment I'm going through hell again. Sometimes I'm wondering how much more I can put up with, though. I've been suffering from chronic nerve pain since my early 20s, which has made my life miserable on its own. Then I developed tinnitus when I turned 30.

I had about 2.5 years to settle into it before I went through a gruelling divorce.

Going through this all on my own sucks. I also have a 4-year-old son which I co-parent with my ex. I love him so much, and he's what got me through the first time. But this constant pain, screaming tinnitus, and the instant depression that came on after this current spike lasted for longer than 3 days is slowly killing me.

I don't want to fail him, but as I'm now, I feel like I can hardly be a good father to him. Not being there at all seems worse, but at least he won't have to see me suffer.

For now I have the tiniest bit of hope that this spike will settle down in the coming days/weeks, but I honestly don't know what I'll do if it doesn't.

I suppose I habituated once, but looking back – it didn't seem nearly as bad then. Probably because I had someone to look after me and care for me, plus social security in the sense that I could take some time off from work in order to work on my health. Now I'm alone, and bills need to be paid – but I'm being laid off in April because I was working on a temporary contract.

Last week I wasn't too worried about finding a new job, but with this current hellish tinnitus... I'm worried I'll mess up either any interviews or the job itself.

This sucks. Tinnitus sucks. Nerve pain sucks.

Sorry for the rant.

 

I'm sorry that you are going through this.

Being a parent with this condition/s is difficult at best. It's hard to do all the things other parents do with their kids, games, concerts, etc. But, I have learned to find the things you can do with your child and do those things. Find things that will work for you and fun for them.

I can imagine going through a divorce is rough. I have not gone through that, but my spouse is a very difficult person and makes my life hard on a regular basis. Being a good mom and focusing on getting through my doctoral program with my faith help get me through.

I hope you have continued recovery and things calm down soon.

~Twa

 

Currently facing another setback.

I was seeing someone for about 7 months, both pre-worsening and post-worsening. She actually helped me a lot and kind of served as an anchoring point for me. The relationship is what kept me going, and seeing her actually made it possible to partly tune out the tinnitus.

We unexpectedly broke up last week and now I'm dealing with the added heartbreak/depression

 

I’m really sorry @Fields. It sounds like you’re going through a terrible time of it. I split from my long-term partner, and six months after, my tinnitus worsened from acoustic trauma to a place I didn’t think was imaginable, so I can relate to your situation.

Nine months on, it’s still as bad, maybe I cope with it a little better on some days, but other days I’m severely depressed.

Just some words to let you know you’re not alone and you can rant here as much as you want.

 

This seems to be the working model that many of us have w/ our tinnitus. Periods of relative quiet, but like the calm before a storm, something or nothing at all will see it flare back up, sometimes louder than before.

 

This is so true.