MemberPlease allow me to introduce myself, and please forgive some of my vagueness for the time being. This my selfish introduction to put things out there and get some weight off my shoulders, to others that understand what I'm going through, and the insanity of dealing with this.
I am a lower-middle-aged male, and currently, a secret tinnitus sufferer. Beyond my wife, mother, and doctor, I've told no one, and they understand the importance of others not knowing. Without going into too much detail, my professional life, a well-respected "brand," and people's jobs, is built around my subjective ability and reputation to know "quality" sound.
I am currently and quietly executing a plan to remove myself from my "position" without destroying something that took many years to build. Once I feel the transition is at a point where the "brand" can succeed without the need for me, I plan to come out publicly, help raise funds for research, and help others.
I've used earplugs, including custom-fitted, for years, to protect my ears. I now fear my increased sensitivity to sound could be what lead to my tinnitus. That's a bummer.
Approximately 9-months ago, I wish I could recall the exact moment; it was as if I woke up one morning and suddenly started hearing an approximate 8000 Hz "ringing" at what I perceive to about 85dB, at its lowest state, in my head. Since then, it's perceived to be panned right of center. The only cause I could maybe think of is I was in a building where the smoke alarms went off three different times in a short period of time. But I don't recall the ringing immediately after.
I've had a Tympanometry examination and MRI. My tests did say I was slightly outside the normal range for my age in regards to the hearing loss above 9 kHz, which was surprising to me. But this test was after all this started. Now it's tough to hear "past" the ringing. The ringing is louder in my better ear. If it were due to hearing loss wouldn't the ringing the louder in the ear with the most degradation?
I am someone that many would describe as having a higher sensitivity to the qualities of sound and music. I was also the person who would perceive the tiniest sounds that others couldn't perceive. Like appliance frequency, vehicles or people outside the home down the street, etc. Music has been a part of my life since my earliest memories, and a profoundly important part of my emotional as well as financial well-being. Quite literally, sound is my life, and a most positive part, until now.
Now? I can't listen to music or the quality of any sound at all without total disappointment, perceptive devastation, and "ringing" increasing to maddening levels. I can mostly tolerate talk radio.
I am, for the most part coping with it and staving off major depression; given my leadership roles over the years, I've learned to deal with a high degree of stress for long periods. But I certainly have those moments, thankfully usually brief, when I just want to explode and say fck it. I am trying to shift the emotional rewards that sound used to offer me with other "arts."
My family doesn't seem to get the seriousness of the situation, but it could also be I'm not outwardly showing the actual amount of stress and anxiety it causes me.
I suppose that's as much of the sob story that needs to be told; I know those on the forum already get it.
I do have a few comments regarding my experience so far.
I've read several Michael Leigh's posts already, and it's a wealth of information, thank you, Michael!
Quoting @Michael Leigh, "Your Dr has probably told you, it's tinnitus and nothing can be done, you'll just have to learn to live with it."
That is precisely what my GP and my supposed "top" ENT Doctor told me after speaking to both of them, trying to explain that my life and the asset my ears once were, while fighting back tears, is totally devastated. I felt totally deflated. They simply didn't get it. I tried to explain my ears being this way is like a pilot losing his eyesight. They don't get it.
I was not recommended to a hearing therapist, but this seems like something I need to pursue. Once the pandemic is over, of course. Why I wasn't told about Tinnitus Retraining Therapy, I don't know.
I look forward to reading more and developing a more "educated" strategy for dealing with this.
I am a lower-middle-aged male, and currently, a secret tinnitus sufferer. Beyond my wife, mother, and doctor, I've told no one, and they understand the importance of others not knowing. Without going into too much detail, my professional life, a well-respected "brand," and people's jobs, is built around my subjective ability and reputation to know "quality" sound.
I am currently and quietly executing a plan to remove myself from my "position" without destroying something that took many years to build. Once I feel the transition is at a point where the "brand" can succeed without the need for me, I plan to come out publicly, help raise funds for research, and help others.
I've used earplugs, including custom-fitted, for years, to protect my ears. I now fear my increased sensitivity to sound could be what lead to my tinnitus. That's a bummer.
Approximately 9-months ago, I wish I could recall the exact moment; it was as if I woke up one morning and suddenly started hearing an approximate 8000 Hz "ringing" at what I perceive to about 85dB, at its lowest state, in my head. Since then, it's perceived to be panned right of center. The only cause I could maybe think of is I was in a building where the smoke alarms went off three different times in a short period of time. But I don't recall the ringing immediately after.
I've had a Tympanometry examination and MRI. My tests did say I was slightly outside the normal range for my age in regards to the hearing loss above 9 kHz, which was surprising to me. But this test was after all this started. Now it's tough to hear "past" the ringing. The ringing is louder in my better ear. If it were due to hearing loss wouldn't the ringing the louder in the ear with the most degradation?
I am someone that many would describe as having a higher sensitivity to the qualities of sound and music. I was also the person who would perceive the tiniest sounds that others couldn't perceive. Like appliance frequency, vehicles or people outside the home down the street, etc. Music has been a part of my life since my earliest memories, and a profoundly important part of my emotional as well as financial well-being. Quite literally, sound is my life, and a most positive part, until now.
Now? I can't listen to music or the quality of any sound at all without total disappointment, perceptive devastation, and "ringing" increasing to maddening levels. I can mostly tolerate talk radio.
I am, for the most part coping with it and staving off major depression; given my leadership roles over the years, I've learned to deal with a high degree of stress for long periods. But I certainly have those moments, thankfully usually brief, when I just want to explode and say fck it. I am trying to shift the emotional rewards that sound used to offer me with other "arts."
My family doesn't seem to get the seriousness of the situation, but it could also be I'm not outwardly showing the actual amount of stress and anxiety it causes me.
I suppose that's as much of the sob story that needs to be told; I know those on the forum already get it.
I do have a few comments regarding my experience so far.
I've read several Michael Leigh's posts already, and it's a wealth of information, thank you, Michael!
Quoting @Michael Leigh, "Your Dr has probably told you, it's tinnitus and nothing can be done, you'll just have to learn to live with it."
That is precisely what my GP and my supposed "top" ENT Doctor told me after speaking to both of them, trying to explain that my life and the asset my ears once were, while fighting back tears, is totally devastated. I felt totally deflated. They simply didn't get it. I tried to explain my ears being this way is like a pilot losing his eyesight. They don't get it.
I was not recommended to a hearing therapist, but this seems like something I need to pursue. Once the pandemic is over, of course. Why I wasn't told about Tinnitus Retraining Therapy, I don't know.
I look forward to reading more and developing a more "educated" strategy for dealing with this.
