@mikeh, I used to be like you, needing complete silence to sleep. Unfortunately, I ended up wearing earplugs all the time since there was always some noise coming from somewhere. A very knowledgeable audiologist told me that was the worst possible thing to do, and I can attest to that. I gave myself a really bad case of hyperacusis.
When I ended up in rehab, they had no sympathy for my condition. After a couple of weeks of complete sleep deprivation, I went psychotic and spent some time in full lockdown. Of course, those clowns made a so called diagnosis of sound phobia, and their so called treatment was to expose me to as much loud noise as possible.
When it comes to sound at night, remember that our ancestors slept outside. They heard wind rustling through the leaves, birds, maybe a brook. Because of that, I keep my ambient sound at around 60 dB, very quiet music and restful rain. Rainfall is a natural sound, something our ancestors would have slept through. It just takes some getting used to.
Right now, I play both rainfall and music simultaneously, like quiet Enya. My daughter processed the audio through Audacity, a free online tool, to make the quiet parts slightly louder and the louder parts slightly quieter. I am pretty much addicted to it, and I am confident it is safe.
I used to have severe anxiety too, but over time, it faded because nothing bad ever actually happened.
Trazodone can make you groggy due to its hangover effect. I have to be careful with my medications since I take quite a few. If I feel hungover, I try to figure out which one is causing it. For me, it is Mirtazapine, which has a half life of 20 to 40 hours. If I feel off, I cut my dose back.
Right now, I am dealing with a spike from dental work noise, so I am relying on Clonazepam and have basically been in bed all weekend. My workplace is aware of my condition, so no one gives me a hard time. Fortunately, my hours are pretty flexible, which helps.
Trazodone's half life depends on your metabolism, and it can range from 5 to 13 hours. It sounds like you may have the longer half life due to your metabolism. I take Carbamazepine, which induces liver enzymes and reduces the half life of some medications for me.
If your doctor agrees, you might try taking 100 mg of Carbamazepine to see if it reduces Trazodone's half life and lessens the hangover effect. A 100 mg dose is actually quite small. In some people, Carbamazepine also helps with tinnitus, so it might be worth trying.