Shouting and Fighting

[filosiman]

I am currently visiting my mother. I was reluctant, because she always wants to argue and I'm too weak to disengage. I had forgotten what a narcissist she is. I grew up verbally abusive, and today sadly culminated in a fight. I have the bad habit of raising my voice too, so after I was shouted at, I was on the phone with my father explaining the situation, but I was upset (anxiety and panic attacks), so my voice was loud throughout. I spent maybe 2 hours in total today speaking with a raised upset voice.

I know this is bad and I did everything I could to ever prevent having to enter an srgument with my mother, because it's pointless (she just wants to let out her bad moods on me). I went upstairs and locked myself into a room until she was gone. But the fact that I got so upset about it and spoke on the phone with a raised voice makes me so angry at myself.

So two things happened today that make me worry about my tinnitus permanently spiking:

- mother smashed the door downstairs while I was in a room with a closed door. I hope the distance was enough to not make it have a negative effect on my ears. The room upstairs is right next to the stairs, so I was intotal maybe 5 meterss away from the smashed door.
- I spent around 2 hours speaking in an upset voice to my father about what happened

Do you think this can have negatively affected my tinnitus?

 

[Bill Bauer]

Do you think this can have negatively affected my tinnitus?

Based on my personal experiences and on the experiences I read about in this forum, you might have your T spike, but most likely it is going to be a temporary spike. Having said this, if you keep doings things that cause these temporary spikes, Eventually you are likely to get a permanent spike. Learn from this experience and decide to walk away as soon as someone raises their voice.

 

[Alue]

Temporary spike due to stress I'd say. I don't see any noise that would damage your hearing.

Narcissists are difficult to deal with if we're talking a real narcissist.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Temporary spike due to stress I'd say.

I wasn't stressed out when I got a spike after a door slammed near me. That spike lasted several days. There had also been more spikes due to doors slamming - I haven't felt stressed during those times either.

 

[Alue]

I wasn't stressed out when I got a spike after a door slammed near me. That spike lasted several days. There had also been more spikes due to doors slamming - I haven't felt stressed during those times either.

Yes, but TS obviously has been stressed out fighting with his mother.

 

[filosiman]

I wasn't stressed out when I got a spike after a door slammed near me. That spike lasted several days. There had also been more spikes due to doors slamming - I haven't felt stressed during those times either.

there are granite stairs between the two rooms and a 4m hallway. the roomwhere i was in was practically around the corner of the stairs. I really hope it was enough distance.

as for the upset talking/shouting, I am even more worried... i should have just calmed down but i was so upset that she would willingly smash a door whenim there, i could not calm down.

 

[filosiman]

I read that we are mostly protected by our own voice through our jaw closing off the ears when talking, I don't know if this is true. Anyone got some source for this claim?

 

[Bill Bauer]

I really hope it was enough distance.

I was about 3 meters away the first time, and I was 2 meters away (+had a wall between me and the source) the second time.

 

[filosiman]

Ok so I guess I had some more distance. The staircase is surrounded by walls from both sides