Since Getting Tinnitus, What Have You Learned About Yourself?

[derpytia]

Since getting tinnitus, no matter your severity, what have you learned about yourself?

Rules:

• You can post as many things you've learned as possible but you must at least post one "good" or positive thing that you've learned in each post you make. Sounds like a challenge but I think, if you all take the time to think about it, you'll find something.
• You cannot comment negatively about anyone's post. Only to uplift or send condolences.
• You cannot post what you've learned unless it is about yourself. (ex: "I learned more about the workings of the inner ear" is not a post about yourself).
• Memes are accepted so long as they are about yourself. Go wild with the memes if you want!
• Have fun! Sometimes I think tinnitus can make us lose who we think we are and it's a battle to either find ourselves again and/or come to terms with aspects of ourselves we've never acknowledged.

 

[derpytia]

What I've learned:

• I let my emotions control me more often than not.
• I am not good at saying no or speaking up for what I want in real life because I'm afraid of inconveniencing others or making people dislike me.
• I wallow in my own despair a lot.
• Despite everything, the fact that I am alive still means I must be spiritually Hulk Tier level strong!

 

[Yugal Rai]

Any improvement in your tinnitus so far?

 

[emmalee]

You cannot comment negatively about anyone's post. Only to uplift or send condolences.

This, a thousand times this.

 

[emmalee]

I feel another's pain more than I feel my own sometimes.

I always want to fix things, even while knowing that this is not always possible.

 

[JohnAdams]

I've learned that I'm a weak little bitch and a complete fool that used to take life for granted.

 

[New Guy]

I feel like I was 'Hulk' material before t but didn't realize it. I guess t taught me that no matter how bad things seemed before I was doing ok.

Like others in this thread I say yes too often and try to please others too often. T finally taught me that no is no, especially with loud events.

Kittens bit a lot. I don't like being bit by kittens.

 

[GSC]

I'm stronger than what I thought I was, because hands down, Tinnitus is the hardest and most lonely thing I have ever gone through within my life.

 

[Strife_84]

I am fragile. One mistake and my life changed completely. I've survived from lots of things during my life, I just have to survive from this too.

This is definitely the most difficult thing during my life and I have gone trough a lot.

Bullied in school, depression, alcoholism, death of a close one, poverty, unemployment, horrible relationships that almost got me into jail, I've been homeless twice for a short time. So my life hasn't exactly went the way I wanted. But hey, here I am.

But this. This is something else. I can tolerate lots of bs but now I am afraid I lost music. One thing that has kept me sane. My world. My sanctuary.

So, I just have to survive again.

And I know now, I am strong enough to do anything in my life. I am not weak. Life is short, make it yours.

 

[Holly1987]

I've learnt that I REALLY REALLY love silence. Damn I miss it

 

[derpytia]

Any improvement in your tinnitus so far?

None only worsening. However, you failed to post what you've learned Gotta follow the rules!

 

[derpytia]

I've learned that I'm a weak little bitch and a complete fool that used to take life for granted.

You didn't follow the rules! You have to post one "good" thing along with it!

 

[JohnAdams]

You didn't follow the rules! You have to post one "good" thing along with it!

I've learned a lot about molecular biology. Also it drove me to find a new job and it's a good one.

 

[derpytia]

I've learned a lot about molecular biology. Also it drove me to find a new job and it's a good one.

Mmmm still not something about yourself, though that is a positive. I'll take it.

(I was hoping for a meme or two out of you since you like them hahah)

 

[JohnAdams]

hoping for a meme

 

[Stu1983]

@derpytia
This has been the hardest thing I've dealt with in my entire life and like most I have seen hard times, I realized how weak and fragile I really am.

This has also made me more humble and empathetic.

Great post btw

 

[Allan1967]

I've learnt that I'm weak.

 

[Jazzer]

I have learnt that, whereas I felt totally powerless to affect any improvement whatsoever in the first place, by consistently practicing meditation - even while hearing 'it' - I can stay calm and become more acclimatised to it, which has an effect on me for the rest of the day.

I do this daily, in a lovely warm bath, and I never miss.
(Notice I never mentioned the word 'habituxxxxx'
or the MPP posse will string me up pronto!)

 

[DaveFromChicago]

I've learned that my arrogant previous assumption that I was exempt from "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" was the most laughably naïve hubris.


Or, that we all pitiably subject to inevitable and unforeseeable bodily breakdown of a nearly infinite variety.

And, as Camus said, we (humanity) are alone in the Universe. There is no Grand Entity that is going to remedy this meaningless suffering.

Recently a lady posted that her five year old daughter had this condition. Please explain the theological necessity for inflicting this on an innocent child.

Or, as a character in Samuel Beckett's play "Endgame" said, "Face it - you're on Earth - there's no cure for that."

Or, having this condition made me really understand the truth of that quote from "King Lear":
"We are as flies to the Gods
They kill us for their sport."

This condition has compelled me to take stock of the unfathomable amount of pointless suffering undergone by humanity throughout history. Recently I reviewed various entries posted by BAM, and this condition is something that could have been devised by a Satanic SS Officer.

I fully apprehend that abovementioned comment from Allan1967 that he is weak. I continually chastise myself for not having a greater Promethean capacity to not let this undermine me.

Or, Allan1967, the fact that simply by virtue of not having allowed this to destroy you entirely over the past 21 years may indicate a titanic, mentally muscular strength.

 

[Jazzer]

There is no Grand Entity that is going to remedy this meaningless suffering.

Agreed !!

 

[Eric N]

We're still medically primitive and doctors can't do much for anything.

Life owes us nothing and can turn on us at any moment, so enjoy it while you're still healthy before it's too late.

 

[Jazzer]

I've learnt that some people have

"Exceedingly long toes"

- an old Dutch expression
that makes me smile.....x

 

[kmohoruk]

I've learned a couple of things over my T journey:

• I am more resilient than I thought I was - and T showed me that. It's made me fight for the goals that I want to complete in my life. Most people will come up against some type of health challenge in their life (As I've realized through many conversations with friends and family) - this just happens to be mine.
• You never know how life may change from day to day. Every day is a gift, and it's important to enjoy each day - especially when you are feeling happy and healthy.
• I cherish and am thankful for the relationships that I have in my life between my partner, friends and family.
• I've always been an active person. But I definitely take my health a bit more seriously and focus on staying healthy - both physically and mentally.
• Finally, T made me take the time to sort out some internalized thoughts and feelings that I had held on to for a long time. When I saw a T clinician who administered the counselling portion of TRT - it was EXTREMELY beneficial. For me, it was a game changer and helped me accept and move forward with my T. If you have access to it, I would recommend trying it. For me it was more beneficial than the audio portion of TRT.

I am also going to leave this quote from @coffee_girl that I saw and think is extremely inspiring. I think this could be adopted for many other other mental health and physical conditions as well.

"Words of encouragement, ok let's go.

The fact that you have tinnitus and the fact that you're still here and pushing through everyday of this life means that you're already ahead of everyone else. The fact that you choose to ask for help instead of shutting yourself away shows that you choose resilience over condemnation. The fact that you wake up everyday to a world without silence, the fact that you fight every moment with this noise and still go to bed knowing tomorrow is just going to be the same, shows how strong and courageous you are.

Tinnitus is a fight without recognition, nobody will ever herald you for being a hero, only you know that. Be proud of yourself, and give yourself a little credit."

 

[emmalee]

I am also going to leave this quote from @coffee_girl that I saw and think is extremely inspiring. I think this could be adopted for many other other mental health and physical conditions as well.

"Words of encouragement, ok let's go.

The fact that you have tinnitus and the fact that you're still here and pushing through everyday of this life means that you're already ahead of everyone else. The fact that you choose to ask for help instead of shutting yourself away shows that you choose resilience over condemnation. The fact that you wake up everyday to a world without silence, the fact that you fight every moment with this noise and still go to bed knowing tomorrow is just going to be the same, shows how strong and courageous you are.

Tinnitus is a fight without recognition, nobody will ever herald you for being a hero, only you know that. Be proud of yourself, and give yourself a little credit."

I love this quote, @kmohoruk.

 

[Lorac]

I've learned that I'm a weak little bitch and a complete fool that used to take life for granted.

A positive outcome is that you have learned to not take things for granted?

 

[Lorac]

I have learned to not take things for granted.
I have learned to focus on what I have instead of what I don't have.
I have learned that people suffer in ways that are not obvious, according to their appearance. Empathy.
I have learned that I am stronger than I thought I was.

 

[Daniel Lion]

I have learned that I am a real nut job, a lunatic... was surprisingly naive to my eccentricities and somewhat deranged personality prior to tinnitus.

 

[Jazzer]

'Tinnitus has turned me into a believer !!'

 

[winstona]

Before Mr T came dominating my life, I used to believe I was invincible. I have a good job, a good wife, a good life and a healthy body for a 43 year old. I eat relatively healthy and exercise 6 times a week. I really thought I have my life in control.

When T came, everything was crashing down on me as if nothing else mattered. I am an audiophile who love listening to vinyl record too and with T and H, beautiful music that used to be my escape all of a sudden became hell...

- I learned that life sometimes throws a weird curve ball at you and it's up to u to deal with it and never take anything for granted
- I learned that T could be life ending because I really did thought about suicide when I first got it. It was my the thought of my wife crying and not being able to cope after I was gone that pulled me back.
- I learned that obviously I am not as strong willed and invincible as I thought I was. The reality is, I am pretty damn weak.
- the one positive thing I learned from this ordeal is that it is ok to be weak and it is ok to ask for help

 

[Jack Straw]

I learned how life changing "perspective" is.

Once you see the depths of what true suffering is, a lot of "stressors" in life stop being an issue. Things that used to really get to me before have become afterthoughts. Things that I used to worry about constantly are now a joke to me. It is funny that once you reach the depths of suffering do you become enlightened at how insignificant other "issues" are.

I am now more grateful for things in my life and don't take things for granted. I am living more day to day instead of looking too far into the future.

I have become more compassionate and understanding of others and of situations they are experiencing. I try to always give people the benefit of the doubt. If I don't understand what someone is going through, I don't dismiss it with my own experience of a situation. I accept that I may be ignorant to their situation and don't fully understand.

I also learned that the only person who is going to look out and fight for you is YOU. If you want to do something, you have to go out and do it yourself. Complaining endlessly literally solves nothing. You have to stand up and try to make a difference to help your situation.

Lastly, I learned to be very careful about what I complain about, because things could always be a lot worse.