Slowing me down

[Amelia]

Not sure what I'm expecting to get out of this, but I just need to let it out.

My main goal right now is to relax and habituate. I've had a few good days (experiencing a but of a spike at the moment) but I'm finding one thing that always draws me back into listening and thinking about my T is my dad.

We are close and every time I see him I'm reminded of the massive battle he has everyday with his extremely intrusive T and hearing loss. He doesn't talk about it much to me anymore because he knows it will make me focus on mine, but I can't help but feel sad for him - on a daily basis, and it's worse after I see him.

I'm concerned these feelings are going to stop me from coming to terms with my own T. I already feel like I'm behind - people who had T onset after me are habituating and I'm still struggling.

Anyway ... Sorry for the brain dump

 

[Per]

Amelia, no need to feel sorry for this. It's a forum so we share. Didn't know you have a dad with T as well. But don't you get to talk to him about it, or is he mostly a sufferer? Some T veterans tend to give good advice and strategy tip. You need to approach each other with this it seems. I know I would if I had another T victim in my family or friendship circle. But since I don't I'm here instead

 

[Amelia]

He has suffered T for years so I've always known but once it seemed mine was sticking around he told me that he thinks of me and what I'm going through every day but unless I bring it up he isn't going to speak to me about it because it will just make me think about it again. I see pity in his eyes still for me tho

I just feel so much empathy for him because I now have a little window into what he deals with and I really hurt for him. And knowing how loud his is, I understand how he can't be positive about it so talking to him in depth would out a) freak me out worrying that's my future, and b) depress me more for both him and me.

Even if we don't talk about it, just seeing him is a constant reminder of T and it makes me think about mine more

 

[Robb]

Dear Amelia,

As far as I can see your T is still pretty 'early'. Dont put yourself on a certain strict time frame when and how you will habituate. You will habituate.
Now it's way to early to 'hang out the flag'

Good luck in relaxing