Small Pleasures of Life

[CapedCrusader2]

I've learned that I can effectively fight tinnitus through the use of staying active, going to work and using white noise to sleep. All this said, I'm tired of the fight. I don't want to fight tinnitus. I want to be done fighting because it's exhausting.

I feel like T has robbed me of the small pleasures in life. Taking a nap in the middle of the day for example. Or drinking coffee without worrying. Or even rolling down the car window with some music playing.

These are some of the moments in life that make it fun. How do I get these things back? How do I stop "fighting" and just get back to "living."

 

[Louise77]

This is very much like a conversation I had with my husband a few days ago. I said tinnitus is like a thief that has stolen things from me....the ability to lie with my daughters in bed at night to read a quiet story before bed, the ability to lie in a nice hot bath and read a book in silence, the ability to settle in bed and hear nothing but the sound of the sheets rustling or the breath of the person next to you ......its these small things that seemed insignificant at the time that I now miss so much. I never knew what I had.
And like you I am so tired of the constant fight. My husband said to me "just keep busy". I said, "what, keep busy forever?". I don't know what the answer is.

 

[linearb]

My life is not the same as before I got tinnitus. That's not going to change.

However, taking naps and reading in an otherwise silent bath, are things I can do without trouble now.

Give it time.

 

[Sebastians]

Basically, you stop 'fighting' it, as you cannot win. Then comes acceptance that life has steered you in a different direction that you anticipated. And then you can focus on personal growth and find pleasure in new things.
If loud music was your passion, pick up the acoustic guitar, or try photography. Build yourself a home studio and compose music at reasonable levels. Try stuff you would otherwise never do: Yoga, meditation, weight lifting, running, nutrition, cooking reading, painting,.. and what not.
Count the small victories.
The mind is resilient, and as @linearb said, give it time.

 

[Sound Wave]

Or... if you accept T and example a temporary spike, just keep enjoying coffee. And then there is also the strategy of finding new pleasures in life!

 

[Zug]

Took me 6 months to finish my first book after getting T. I tried to cut coffee but later found out I'd rather be happy and have my cup in the morning. Don't rush yourself too much. It will get better.

 

[Wilhelm]

Currently I am feeling the same as you are. I absolutely want to hear the silence again. Realizing that T won't go away is making me so scared and sad.

 

[glynis]

I try just focus on positive things and plan things to do and not focus on my sound.
As mine is due to menieres I know my sever tinnitus is here to stay.
How do I cope with it so loud?
I think because the sound is the same and never goes or calms down.
My concentration and hearing is a problem but I focus on everything I can do and just adapt my life .
I do miss silence but I make the most of all the lovely things in life.....lots of love glynis

 

[Martin69]

Currently I am feeling the same as you are. I absolutely want to hear the silence again. Realizing that T won't go away is making me so scared and sad.

Yes, T can make anxiety, depression and exhaustion.
Give it time, much time, to adapt to it - oftentimes this depends on loudness.
Or since you are in early stage, it can go away again.
Also we all hope for a drug one day, maybe SF0034.
But until then let your brain get used to it and pushing it into the background.

 

[Sound Wave]

Yes... books. I have more or less stopped reading books, which is a bit of a bummer. However, I might try again and just put my rain sounds into the background and see how it goes

 

[Zug]

Yes... books. I have more or less stopped reading books, which is a bit of a bummer. However, I might try again and just put my rain sounds into the background and see how it goes

I won't lie to you, at the beginning it was very hard. Books were always a big part of my life, and I figured I'm not ready to leave that behind.

I had to force myself a lot, still have at some days. I'm happy that I finished 2 books this year and I'm in the middle of my third. Just read a few pages a day, that's what I do.

Strangely enough, I discovered that for me wearing earplugs helps. Maybe I have enough sounds in my head that outside noises seem more distracting. Whatever, it works.

 

[steffievdboom]

For sure you will be able again to read a book, to just lay in bed alone, or with your kids to read a story. It is About acceptance... I have been where you are now and things will get better for sure.
Once you start to really habituate and think of your t as 'à part of you..' (If someone Told me that at the beginning of my t i'd shoot them;-) things Will get better and you can relax again. IT takes time.
Do as much As you can to relax.
T is not the end of the world. ITS a new way of living...
Take care you people who are suffering right now.... [emoji256]

 

[Sebastians]

For some reason, my ability to read in (almost) silence was never affected (touch wood). Reading can be extremely therapeutic and is used to lessen/prevent all sorts of brain- and stress related ailments. That, together with acquiring new skills such as learning to play a new instrument/language etc can only be beneficial for people with T.
http://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/can-reading-make-you-happier

 

[Sailboardman]

Yes, the little pleasures we all took for granted, are now seemingly, in our past. However, my entire family has had T for many years and enjoy their lives as if they don't have it! They sit in quiet rooms, read, sleep with no masking devices, laugh, have fun, etc. I ask them how they do it? Their response is, "years of practice."

Being an impatient person, that answer is killer to me! Years of practice! Who has time for all this suffering? It appears, we do. In fact that's all we have, is time. Does the clock automatically slow down to half speed when we get T? I'm obsessed with watching the clock, just waiting for something to change, or that magical moment, when I can say, "Hey, I just forgot I have T!" Well, constantly waiting for that moment, isn't gonna make it happen. This is a slow process, that can't be rushed. Like the old addage, "A watched pot, never boils." It's a new acoustic environment, that our brains have to adapt to. A brain that stubbornly, moves like a herd of turtles, when it comes to drastic changes. It has to be coddled and coerced into believing, this is now, it's normal operating proceedure.

My Sister, said to me, "You have to realize, this is your new silence." I said, "No way, this is silence!" She said, "After awhile, you won't remember what the old silence was." I sure hope she's right!

 

[Telis]

I have almost always been able to sit in silence with my T, or lay in bed no problem with it blasting away. Maybe first month or so after onset was very hard but I adapted pretty fast.

I find that my tinnitus bothers me the most when I'm trying to hear things. I'm completely exhausted after about 30 min just trying to listen to the TV or have a conversation with all this beeping and screeching, it all becomes a really loud bunch of noise, the tinnitus is mixed in with exterior sounds, the exterior sounds are distorted and painful, some tones sound like my tinnitus. This is the mess that exhausts me to no end. I was out for dinner last night and the background noises sound like loud painful high pitched static and my T competes in the mix. I can sit and act calm for about an hour and then I'm finished. I actually feel like I'm going to pass out. My eyes get heavy and I start to feel out of it.

I've got about 2-3 hours max in the outside world with even moderate to low exterior sounds and I have to get home, this is what is exhausting to me, not hearing silence is really the last thing on my list of things that are tiring for me.

I sometimes wonder if most people are concerned with silence because this is the only time that they hear and are effected by their T, and the rest of the time they are not really aware of it. If this were the case for me, I really don't think T would have any effect on my life but I guess everyone is different. I've never really cared for silence, always liked some background noise and loved listening to music almost constantly.