@jdjd09 It's not that you have to have a good attitude as if you didn't have tinnitus and some hearing loss. That would be false to pretend that that wasn't there. The challenge is to COPE by developing coping strategies, ways to still be happy despite what is currently going on. I agree that it is very unfortunate that you have developed this. Believe me, I have my own personal challenges related to this. I am also into this for four months. I am a silence lover/writer/thinker type by nature. This is NOT easy to cope with. But I am doing it, and still turning my face to the sun, because I don't have the time to waste getting into a long, negative spin with this.
Also, I've come through enough rather lousy life experiences and survived and grown from them by now, that I have some perspective about dealing with the lousy stuff. Life is still beautiful, even amid the crap. (Yes it is,
@attheedgeofscience, a person whose advice and postings I respect here, but who I have to respectfully disagree with and say that life is also an everyday miracle, or rather, a combination of the good and the bad and ever was it and perhaps ever shall it be. Longer discussion, another time. Meanwhile, you must yourself not purely act on that statement you ended with above, for you are so valiantly pursuing all your research, which is, after all, a great response to a bad situation!
).
Anyway, jdjd09, maybe you're thinking that "yeah, but you're 53 and had your life and I'm 28"
<<--heck, maybe when I was 28 I would've thought that too, because I recently discovered that my very own mother just developed tinnitus and she's 74 and one of my little thoughts, which I quickly made myself kick out of my head, was: "Gee, she had 21 more years without tinnitus that I did! That's not fair!!" So you see, this is human nature and we all tend to fall prey to this kind of useless thinking. Because it IS useless. Why? Because it just keeps us in a negative spin cycle and doesn't help us.
So, yeah, I'm 53, but guess what? My grandmother lived to 92 and we have longevity and I am just getting to a place where I am more free to focus on writing and creating and now along comes ringing in the ears when all I craved before this, and still do, is to sit in silence.
So, just telling you this by way of saying that, DESPITE this ringing, I am working to still maintain that silent place inside myself that has nothing to do with the ears, if that makes any sense. From long experience at coping with things that have happened to me, I have the inner knowing that I can bring strength and creativity to even this situation.
And I am hanging in there with you, because we all have to start somewhere, and you can grope your way out of the purely negative reaction and get to a better place too. A better place WITH even the crappy stuff still going on at the same time.
Who knows? Maybe at some point your tinnitus will abate wholly or partially. Maybe yes, maybe no. You can definitely learn to cope and also maybe get aides for the hearing.
Yes, I am SURE that you are completely frustrated with the doctors appointments not yielding help. I went through something like that in my late 20s and it was SO distressing.
All I can say is, please have patience even though all that has been frustrating, because lots of things are frustrating in this imperfect world, but YOU are worth it, and you've got to keep fighting for YOU.
Just don't waste your time by staying in the perpetuating negative cycle. I know that when I was in my 20s and 30s, I tended to stay negative about things waaaaaaaaay longer because of that thing that all younger people have where we still believe, like the childhood thinking we just left behind, that we have "all" the time in the world. But we don't. From here at age 53, the perspective changes, as you can imagine, and time becomes even more of a precious commodity, and so when something bad happens, for me, at least, I of course am human and grieve it. But I make myself get up from a blow a whole lot faster, because I don't have the time to hang out forever in a pit of despair.
I care about you. I care that you're going through such a hard time. I truly believe that you can learn to cope with this better, which would be the starting point. The "happiness despite having these problems" will come a little later on. But how about just changing your thinking, one tiny little bit, from "How can I stand this, it sucks?" to "HOW can I proceed better, despite this?" Just one or two creative coping techniques, and you will be taking your first steps.
Do things you can do for yourself, despite doctors not helping, etc. Enroll in the tai chi, or the gym, or whatever makes you happy. Get good earplugs off amazon or someplace, too. I have a pair that I use in loud situations, and they come stored on a keychain so they're always with me.