So Will I Recover?

[JurgenG]

Hello everyone,

I am a 29 year old male, and I've what seems something like T. (I have trouble accepting it..)

My short story:
I am a camera operator and I had those big pilot headphones, I plugged them in and heard this electrical really loud buzz.
I threw them off my head, in a matter of seconds.

A couple of days before this happend I went for an OHC (to checking the hairs), just as a precaution while I ordered some earplugs.
So I was ofcourse already afraid of any T or hearingloss, I didn't notice anything that day, then the next morning I woke up I noticed the ringling and tinteling in my ears, It's been almost 3 weeks now, and I'm having a hard time focussing, and every night I am up for 7 hours. Shaking and being afraid. I keep reading these T-stories that make me even more scared.

I have a hard time accepting and I keep praying if it might be a fragment of my imagination, since I am always quite scared that I have some issue.
I do hear it, and it's not as subtle as I would want when trying to sleep, but I wonder if I always had some form of it, but never paid attention to it, but that's just wishfull thinking.

And the part I really can't get over, is that it was totally avoidable, I know I shouldn't put these headphones on when plugging them in. But I'm an OCD'er and it might have been compulsive, this is whats making my completly insane. Knowing that I could avoided anything..

So when I noticed it, I went to a GP a couple days later, he said your eardrums seem fine, might have had a small rip, not sure. But visit an ENT if you are not over it in a couple of weeks. And stay out of loud noises as much as possible.
Mind you, I still thought I was overreacting back than. A week later I went to a NYE dance party, I did bring my earplugs, which I plugged in and out (really hard to talk with them).

In hindsight I shouldn't have gone, but I felt like I shouldn't overreact and the damage I had is probably already recovered, since I gave it a week rest. And the hoped T was a fragment of my imagination.

So that evening I went to bed, and I heard a spiked T, which one could have from a party I figured.
The spike settled quickly, but the hiss and buzz didn't.

I figure the buzz is the same as before the party, at least I hope..

I am actually going mental, and having trouble doing anything but looking at these forums..
So, I know this is a longshot, but did I really f*cked up my recovery? Or did I encouter a mere setback.
Is the chance that I lose my T in a couple of weeks/months realistic?

I never had pain or any weird sensation with the headphone accident, also I didn't have any T, the day itself. So I figured this was not really catastrophic damage.

I've been given Metrol (steroids) and xanax (the xanax really removes the T, but I try to refrain of using it.)

 

[Foncky]

The dance party was not a goot idea, but what you describe makes me think you will be ok.

You just have to know that one week is not even a rest for the ears. They need way more time so do your best for the next few months.

What kind of camera do you operate ?

 

[JurgenG]

The dance party was not a goot idea, but what you describe makes me think you will be ok.

You just have to know that one week is not even a rest for the ears. They need way more time so do your best for the next few months.

What kind of camera do you operate ?

Oh, I hope so. How will I ever forgive myself otherwise..
I'l stay out of parties for a few months now.

The camera was just a studio camera, but I use all kind of camera's. Got a Sony FS7 myself. (in case you are familiar with it)

 

[Foncky]

I did way worse than you, don't worry. I forgive myself because I didn't know about the consequences... And you're not going anywhere with self-hatred.

I know the FS7, nice one. I'll need a DOP if I manage to shoot a movie one day, I'll think about you (at least I know you won't be a noisy one ).

 

[JurgenG]

I did way worse than you, don't worry. I forgive myself because I didn't know about the consequences... And you're not going anywhere with self-hatred.

I know the FS7, nice one. I'll need a DOP if I manage to shoot a movie one day, I'll think about you (at least I know you won't be a noisy one ).

Aha, "sounds" good! At least I hope I've slept by then..

 

[JurgenG]

Any idea why I feel like the pressure keeps changing in my ears?
You know the popping feeling, since I have this T-fear I keep popping my ears, but now it seems to pop automaticly.

 

[MrLowBot]

Any idea why I feel like the pressure keeps changing in my ears?

Hi man, i am dealing with pressure of both my ears (all the time). I can fix it but so far i haven't (due to having music so close to my heart.. or rather dopamine).

In any case.. The pressure will make you feel like you're infact losing hearing (but you aren't really).
Of course you are if you have a lound sound with that pressure, it could make your hearing much worse.

Hope i helped.

 

[JurgenG]

I wonder if it's a sign of healing, but I guess that's wishful thinking..
And the headaches, I didn't have them the first days. Might be an effect of the steroids?

I can't handle this, I feel like I've ruined myself for ever..

What I don't understand is that headphone could've done so much damage and I didn't even feel pain or anything when it happened? I just though "oh no, hopefully I won't get T"

 

[JurgenG]

Can anyone give an estimate of level of recovery? Perhaps someone with sympthons like mine?
No pain, or T after the "accident", no anything. => Next day/week a little bit of hissing.
Week later a party (partly protected). => T spiked when in bed, the morning after more to baseline

Now it's been a week sense my second encounter. Taking natural products, tea and the prescripted steriods.
My T is only audible me when it's silent or when I plug my ears.
Didn't sleep more than a few hours per night the last five days though.

 

[JurgenG]

It was better the last week, but it's a bit louder the last couple of days.. Wonder what is going on..
Is there any other medication I could take, maybe some more steriods?
My ears are popping all the time as well..

 

[Marcos Que]

It was better the last week, but it's a bit louder the last couple of days.. Wonder what is going on..
Is there any other medication I could take, maybe some more steriods?
My ears are popping all the time as well..

If you're already on steroids then there isn't much else you can take to help get rid of you T. As far as recovery time goes , I've read that 6 months to a year is the time frame before you should consider your T as chronic. The best thing I can tell you to do to help your situation is come to accept your tinnitus. Stop treating it as a threat and you'll notice over time that you will be able to ignore. I'm slowly going through that process myself and I've had it for about 1.5 months. I know it sucks to hear that, there isn't much you can do. Just protect your ears and let them heal.

 

[Tyler Montgomery]

JurgenG,

The T might go away completely, it might not. If it does persist, your brain will eventually learn to tune it out and you will not be bothered by it very much.

You are almost certainly tricking yourself into thinking the T is worse than it is right now, because you are reading these forums and scaring the hell out of yourself. The fact that you can admit that you are a hypochondriac is a great sign and will help you in your recovery.

You have the power to control how loud the ringing in your ears is to some degree. DO NOT allow your brain to focus on the tinnitus for any amount of time. Disrupt any thoughts of tinnitus and re-direct your brain back to living your life. Do not under any circumstance try to monitor the loudness of the ringing in your ears as that will probably make you obsess and give the T considerably more power over you.

This stuff is not nearly as bad as it is played up to be online. You are going to be fine.

 

[Elliott.S]

I've read that 6 months to a year is the time frame before you should consider your T as chronic. The best thing I can tell you to do to help your situation is come to accept your tinnitus. Stop treating it as a threat and you'll notice over time that you will be able to ignore.

I met this great ENT last week and had a discussion about T. He said that for all nerve damages (even the smallest ones) affecting the facial area (ears included) you have to give it a year and a half before considering it has settled.

Marcos is really right about the "accept it" thing, this is a mind trick. It is super counter-intuitive, but it works the best. The more you fight it, the more it stays. Once you tell yourself : "Oh well, is it going to kill me ? Nope...", well you've solved most of it.

 

[JurgenG]

Hey guys, thanks for the comments.
I finished my round of steroids. (I just hope I didn't drink too much water with my first dosis, scared that I flushed it through my system somehow, is that possible? )
Now I have two options: Or I play the waiting game, or I am going for the experimental AM101 trials.
Even though I find it a bit "much" for the T I'm having.

 

[Elliott.S]

It's the perception of your T that matters, no matter how other people might feel about their T.

We can't compare to each other and I guess it's really not a matter of noise level. People with quiet T can have a very hard time dealing with them, when people with horribly loud sounds all over the place may endure them very calmly without putting that much stress on themselves.

So it's your decision to make. If you believe it's "not that bad", then I guess you've won most of the mindgame already

 

[JurgenG]

Well, we are two months in now.
One ear is as good as T free, I can't even recall how loud it was in that ear.

The other one, not as good.
At the moments is mildly spiking again, and I am using music to drown it out.

I am having quite good periods as well, but have it quiet difficult at the moment.
I still hope it will go, but it just might not, and I have trouble accepting that..
Sometimes I think it's gone, because certain masking although not loud, totally masks it. (The fridge is one)

Everything I do and think about is in function of these damn ears. And I keep getting angry at myself for going to that party at NYE. Even though I did had earplugs, I removed them sometimes and also put them partly in to filter a bit less. (Which is so silly afterwards..)
I just didn't realise enough I could make the damage worse, or even jeopardize the recovery. (All because I didn't think I did anything extremely bad with the headphones.)
How can you forgive yourself for being so stupid?


So I am far from any endgame, recovery or acceptance.
At the moment I am taking NAC, MAG, Ginkgo drops, Prednisone (started it recently again), and a whole bunch of other things.