- Dec 7, 2016
- 177
- Tinnitus Since
- 03/2011, got worse 09/2016
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic trauma
Hey guys,
Not such a good day for me, I guess I really need support from people who understand what this is like.
I visited a friend's house today to play boardgames and was expecting a quiet evening. Instead, when we entered the apartment a very large dog started barking (on full volume!) right next to me. It wouldn't stop at all and I was so surprised by the whole situation that instead of putting hands over my ears I just tried to get my shoes & jacket off. Then finally the dog quieted down, so I thought it was over and lowered myself to greet it - then it barked right to my ear. I feel so stupid having done that, but I've never met a dog loud in such way. Whole evening this dog would start barking unexpectedly, sometimes being next to me and in a small apartment its superloud bark really hurt my ears. I could literally feel my tinnitus aggravated. I checked and dogs usually bark at 90-100 decibels and loudest recorded dog has been above 110 - a sudden sound like this is actually dangerous, never thought of it.
Now I am home and my tinnitus is really out of hands - especially my worse ear (left one) is screaming and I feel like I can't keep getting punishments like this when I am already actively trying to be safe. My friends originally suggested a pub for the meeting, but pubs can be surprisingly loud and I wanted to be safe so went to their home instead - just to have an unbelieveably loud dog barking right to my ear.
So even when I'm trying to be safe, shit happens. I feel like I can't live a life at all - last time in December I went to movies with 30 db reduction earplugs, yet my tinnitus got worse and only this week I felt like it was getting a bit better again. And what happens? Something as freaking stupid as a dog barking!
Before a concert (with good earplugs) in September I had mild tinnitus (from 2011) that didn't really react to anything and stayed the same. I remember how hard it was to deal with it, just because of losing silence. I struggled with lots and lots of depression/anxiety over it for a year or so, before accepting it. And it was NOTHING compared to this reactive tinnitus I now have in both ears. There are multiple noises and they are so easily triggered to be even worse. I notice my life is becoming very restricted - either I go to (normal!) noisy situations and pay the price crying alone at home afterwards (like now) or then I just sit home in silence, in which again a saucepan might drop and make my head blast with tinnitus.
It's like there is no winning here and this dog bark incident just represents the whole anxiety over this. Please fellow (reactive or otherwise) tinnitus sufferers, do help me. How do you go on with your life? How do you adapt to a piercing noise that keeps changing? How do you cope with spikes? How do you avoid these type of trigger situations, since they come with no warning? How much do you restrict your life? Any other comments appreciated as well, ofcourse...
Not such a good day for me, I guess I really need support from people who understand what this is like.
I visited a friend's house today to play boardgames and was expecting a quiet evening. Instead, when we entered the apartment a very large dog started barking (on full volume!) right next to me. It wouldn't stop at all and I was so surprised by the whole situation that instead of putting hands over my ears I just tried to get my shoes & jacket off. Then finally the dog quieted down, so I thought it was over and lowered myself to greet it - then it barked right to my ear. I feel so stupid having done that, but I've never met a dog loud in such way. Whole evening this dog would start barking unexpectedly, sometimes being next to me and in a small apartment its superloud bark really hurt my ears. I could literally feel my tinnitus aggravated. I checked and dogs usually bark at 90-100 decibels and loudest recorded dog has been above 110 - a sudden sound like this is actually dangerous, never thought of it.
Now I am home and my tinnitus is really out of hands - especially my worse ear (left one) is screaming and I feel like I can't keep getting punishments like this when I am already actively trying to be safe. My friends originally suggested a pub for the meeting, but pubs can be surprisingly loud and I wanted to be safe so went to their home instead - just to have an unbelieveably loud dog barking right to my ear.
So even when I'm trying to be safe, shit happens. I feel like I can't live a life at all - last time in December I went to movies with 30 db reduction earplugs, yet my tinnitus got worse and only this week I felt like it was getting a bit better again. And what happens? Something as freaking stupid as a dog barking!
Before a concert (with good earplugs) in September I had mild tinnitus (from 2011) that didn't really react to anything and stayed the same. I remember how hard it was to deal with it, just because of losing silence. I struggled with lots and lots of depression/anxiety over it for a year or so, before accepting it. And it was NOTHING compared to this reactive tinnitus I now have in both ears. There are multiple noises and they are so easily triggered to be even worse. I notice my life is becoming very restricted - either I go to (normal!) noisy situations and pay the price crying alone at home afterwards (like now) or then I just sit home in silence, in which again a saucepan might drop and make my head blast with tinnitus.
It's like there is no winning here and this dog bark incident just represents the whole anxiety over this. Please fellow (reactive or otherwise) tinnitus sufferers, do help me. How do you go on with your life? How do you adapt to a piercing noise that keeps changing? How do you cope with spikes? How do you avoid these type of trigger situations, since they come with no warning? How much do you restrict your life? Any other comments appreciated as well, ofcourse...