- Sep 17, 2017
- 34
- Tinnitus Since
- 9/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- In all honesty, probably anxiety
I have always suffered health anxiety and being a doctor myself has made that extra hard. Often knowing a little (ie. not being a specialist) is worse than nothing at all, because you're trained to know when to worry more than you are when not to worry. So we pick up on red flags.
I tend not to worry about too much in life, although maybe that worry is more subconscious. When it manifests physically I then latch onto that symptom and obsess over it, becoming convinced I have a terrible disease. In the past I have given myself severe bouts of irritable bowel syndrome I was convinced was Crohn's disease, and benign fasciculation syndrome (you know those little muscle twitches you get from time to time? Basically those, non-stop, rippling around your body to the point of cramps) and being convinced it was some terrible progressive neurological disease.
When my tinnitus started just over 2 weeks ago it was in the middle of a stressful time in life, in fact Ib had just been texting my partner about how stressed I was when I decided to distract myself by cleaning the kitchen. After that I sat down and noticed this hiss. The same kind of hiss that basically all human beings experience from time to time ie. fleeting tinnitus, possibly associated with some momentary pressure change.
Within about 3 seconds of noticing the sound I thought to myself "oh my god, I hope this doesn't stay forever, imagine that". And of course, it did.
It didn't matter that the exact same thought had a few years earlier turned a few twitches in my bicep into the aforementioned benign fasciculation syndrome, this time, as each time, I told myself was different: now I have some terrible disease.
Now I have to make the disclaimer that since all this started I have been consulted by a GP and multiple ENT doctors, some extremely specialist, and have had an extensive audiogram. All of them have told me that I have not significant pathology bar maybe a bit of EDT and a bit of TMJ but that there is not real reason to expect me to have developed a physical cause for tinnitus that day 2 weeks ago. My audiogram too was normal, in fact showed my hearing was actually a little too good.
Finally I managed to get in touch with a doctor that specialises specifically in auditory medicine and has a special interest in tinnitus. He explained to me that tinnitus is, in the absence of the pathology that some on this forum may of course have, is otherwise a normal part of the human experience. Just as if you close your eyes and look into the darkness you will eventually see it's not perfectly black but made up of "noise" as in a camera photo in low lighting, your brain is just used to filtering that out unless you fixate on it.
For this reason, people with totally normal hearing like me (1/3 of all people who complain of tinnitus, and we are a subset of the near 100% of people who can, if they try hard, detect their own tinnitus), can turn this normal physiological occurrence into a problem.
What's likely for myself is that I, like everyone, have a few physical factors contributing to the auditory noise my brain perceives: a bit of TMJ, a bit of ETD, a bit of sensitive hearing. None of these things caused me an issue before, but for whatever reason we all experience fleeting tinnitus, my anxiety then hooked onto it and amplified it and within 2 weeks I had a near total nervous breakdown because of it.
Being a doctor it is easy for me to quickly call around and speak to specialists without an appointment. That's a blessing and a curse, it means that I get addicted to asking for more and more input without putting full faith in any individual, and each potential physical diagnosis with the advise "just try not to worry about it, you'll get used to it" made me fixate more and more on the precise nature of my tinnitus to try and prove or disprove those physical diagnoses.
I feel now that that is actually part of the problem and not the solution in those of us with no disease, no hearing loss, but intrusive tinnitus.
Instead I had to realise that tinnitus is just like those other anxiety related symptoms I've had in the past. I have told my brain the tinnitus is a threat, that my subconscious and conscious should track it's every move, because it's imperative for me success and survival in life.
This feedback loop only makes the tinnitus worse until the brain itself changes physically to make it a part of my everyday life.
That's why "habituation" for people like us is not just "a way to cope" with tinnitus but the cure itself. Our tinnitus was always there, it's there in everyone, and it's our habituation to listening to it that is the disease - therefore habituating to ignore it is literally a cure.
Since taking this advice on board and with the help of some counselling and anti-anxiety medication, the last few days I have noticed how strong my own mindset is over my tinnitus. It has gone from being present at all times to actually being absent or extremely quiet when I'm in a quiet room, to being maskable in loud environments. Still I find that high pitch sound near it's frequency makes it spike, but I theorise this is part of my brain's heightened alert system attempting to lock onto it still.
So my success is in it's early stages. Things could obviously changes although things are definitely a little better already, 2 weeks in. However, seeing my tinnitus in the same spectrum as the other psychosomatic conditions I have had in the past, I feel I now understand what is happening to me and I have some idea of how it will progress.
1) Understanding the nature of tinnitus in people without ear disease/hearing loss is essential for us to de-prime our CNS, to stop it from being super-sensitive and super-alert to it. If we don't understand that then we will always fear it, wondering what could be the cause and what might happen next, and the result is always for it to become worse
2) That just as TRT recommends, time, distraction and NOT avoiding the triggers WILL remove tinnitus as an issue in your life. With my benign fasciculation syndrome, I can't even recall the day it disappeared. One day I was beside myself, a wreck with anxiety, unable to function, convinced my life was over and I would soon be paralysed. A few months later I just realised.. oh wait, it's gone. That healing only began when I stopped thinking about it, stopped analysing it, stopped giving those twitches emotional power over me and just got on with my life.
I hope too that the link my tinnitus has to sound will being to resolve with habituation to white noise, as I have been doing the wrong thing lately by avoiding noise as much as possible. Even now as I type, each click of the keyboard triggers a slight hiss, but now I know it's not a threat I can start to let go. In a few weeks or months I hope to realise all of a sudden that hiss is no longer there.
If you have a clear cause for your tinnitus like hearing loss then your strategies might have to differ slightly, for example avoidance of noise may be right for you whereas for those of us on the verge of hyperacusis must quickly attempt to re-habituate ourself to (safe levels of) noise. Treating conditions like ETD and TMJ that are contributing is obviously a good idea, but be aware that the anxiety you have experienced toward that pathological tinnitus may well have made you hypersensitive even to the "normal" tinnitus that exists in all of us too, so this information still applies.
I myself have eye floaters that I initially struggled immensely to deal with and which are physically and objectively there and will not go away, but I have habituated and they no longer have any impact on my life beside always keeping some sunglasses handy - so in all but the most extreme cases I believe there is every reason to expect similarly good results for those with noise-related tinnitus and so on.
I can tell you now that these links of brains make with physical symptoms may never disappear totally int he sense that when I am stressed, as I am lately, I can detect the odd twitch in my calves. But the cramps are gone, and between my periods of stress, even these tiny twitches are gone. We may always be prone to reacting to stress in certain ways but once we have finally made that disconnect between those symptoms and their power over us then their ability to create a downward spiral and disrupt our lives is gone.
I believe this is why TRT has over 80% success rate, and I am sure that starting it as soon as possible is a good idea but that it's never too late.
The brain is immensely powerful, the physical effects it's can have on our bodies and on our perceptions is far greater than we give it credit. If you have no ear disease, no hearing loss but you are struggling with tinnitus then you are not struggling with tinnitus: you are struggling with a brain that has trained itself to make normal, natural tinnitus present in everybody a priority in your daily experience.
If you thought your fridge was about to explode at any minute, you'd probably always hear it in the back of your mind even whilst trying to cook or watch TV. But you don't, so you are unaware that it's humming away all the time you're around it. That was you before tinnitus, and getting back there is all in the mind. Yes it takes time, but you'll get there, so will I, and I can already feel myself taking the first steps.
I tend not to worry about too much in life, although maybe that worry is more subconscious. When it manifests physically I then latch onto that symptom and obsess over it, becoming convinced I have a terrible disease. In the past I have given myself severe bouts of irritable bowel syndrome I was convinced was Crohn's disease, and benign fasciculation syndrome (you know those little muscle twitches you get from time to time? Basically those, non-stop, rippling around your body to the point of cramps) and being convinced it was some terrible progressive neurological disease.
When my tinnitus started just over 2 weeks ago it was in the middle of a stressful time in life, in fact Ib had just been texting my partner about how stressed I was when I decided to distract myself by cleaning the kitchen. After that I sat down and noticed this hiss. The same kind of hiss that basically all human beings experience from time to time ie. fleeting tinnitus, possibly associated with some momentary pressure change.
Within about 3 seconds of noticing the sound I thought to myself "oh my god, I hope this doesn't stay forever, imagine that". And of course, it did.
It didn't matter that the exact same thought had a few years earlier turned a few twitches in my bicep into the aforementioned benign fasciculation syndrome, this time, as each time, I told myself was different: now I have some terrible disease.
Now I have to make the disclaimer that since all this started I have been consulted by a GP and multiple ENT doctors, some extremely specialist, and have had an extensive audiogram. All of them have told me that I have not significant pathology bar maybe a bit of EDT and a bit of TMJ but that there is not real reason to expect me to have developed a physical cause for tinnitus that day 2 weeks ago. My audiogram too was normal, in fact showed my hearing was actually a little too good.
Finally I managed to get in touch with a doctor that specialises specifically in auditory medicine and has a special interest in tinnitus. He explained to me that tinnitus is, in the absence of the pathology that some on this forum may of course have, is otherwise a normal part of the human experience. Just as if you close your eyes and look into the darkness you will eventually see it's not perfectly black but made up of "noise" as in a camera photo in low lighting, your brain is just used to filtering that out unless you fixate on it.
For this reason, people with totally normal hearing like me (1/3 of all people who complain of tinnitus, and we are a subset of the near 100% of people who can, if they try hard, detect their own tinnitus), can turn this normal physiological occurrence into a problem.
What's likely for myself is that I, like everyone, have a few physical factors contributing to the auditory noise my brain perceives: a bit of TMJ, a bit of ETD, a bit of sensitive hearing. None of these things caused me an issue before, but for whatever reason we all experience fleeting tinnitus, my anxiety then hooked onto it and amplified it and within 2 weeks I had a near total nervous breakdown because of it.
Being a doctor it is easy for me to quickly call around and speak to specialists without an appointment. That's a blessing and a curse, it means that I get addicted to asking for more and more input without putting full faith in any individual, and each potential physical diagnosis with the advise "just try not to worry about it, you'll get used to it" made me fixate more and more on the precise nature of my tinnitus to try and prove or disprove those physical diagnoses.
I feel now that that is actually part of the problem and not the solution in those of us with no disease, no hearing loss, but intrusive tinnitus.
Instead I had to realise that tinnitus is just like those other anxiety related symptoms I've had in the past. I have told my brain the tinnitus is a threat, that my subconscious and conscious should track it's every move, because it's imperative for me success and survival in life.
This feedback loop only makes the tinnitus worse until the brain itself changes physically to make it a part of my everyday life.
That's why "habituation" for people like us is not just "a way to cope" with tinnitus but the cure itself. Our tinnitus was always there, it's there in everyone, and it's our habituation to listening to it that is the disease - therefore habituating to ignore it is literally a cure.
Since taking this advice on board and with the help of some counselling and anti-anxiety medication, the last few days I have noticed how strong my own mindset is over my tinnitus. It has gone from being present at all times to actually being absent or extremely quiet when I'm in a quiet room, to being maskable in loud environments. Still I find that high pitch sound near it's frequency makes it spike, but I theorise this is part of my brain's heightened alert system attempting to lock onto it still.
So my success is in it's early stages. Things could obviously changes although things are definitely a little better already, 2 weeks in. However, seeing my tinnitus in the same spectrum as the other psychosomatic conditions I have had in the past, I feel I now understand what is happening to me and I have some idea of how it will progress.
1) Understanding the nature of tinnitus in people without ear disease/hearing loss is essential for us to de-prime our CNS, to stop it from being super-sensitive and super-alert to it. If we don't understand that then we will always fear it, wondering what could be the cause and what might happen next, and the result is always for it to become worse
2) That just as TRT recommends, time, distraction and NOT avoiding the triggers WILL remove tinnitus as an issue in your life. With my benign fasciculation syndrome, I can't even recall the day it disappeared. One day I was beside myself, a wreck with anxiety, unable to function, convinced my life was over and I would soon be paralysed. A few months later I just realised.. oh wait, it's gone. That healing only began when I stopped thinking about it, stopped analysing it, stopped giving those twitches emotional power over me and just got on with my life.
I hope too that the link my tinnitus has to sound will being to resolve with habituation to white noise, as I have been doing the wrong thing lately by avoiding noise as much as possible. Even now as I type, each click of the keyboard triggers a slight hiss, but now I know it's not a threat I can start to let go. In a few weeks or months I hope to realise all of a sudden that hiss is no longer there.
If you have a clear cause for your tinnitus like hearing loss then your strategies might have to differ slightly, for example avoidance of noise may be right for you whereas for those of us on the verge of hyperacusis must quickly attempt to re-habituate ourself to (safe levels of) noise. Treating conditions like ETD and TMJ that are contributing is obviously a good idea, but be aware that the anxiety you have experienced toward that pathological tinnitus may well have made you hypersensitive even to the "normal" tinnitus that exists in all of us too, so this information still applies.
I myself have eye floaters that I initially struggled immensely to deal with and which are physically and objectively there and will not go away, but I have habituated and they no longer have any impact on my life beside always keeping some sunglasses handy - so in all but the most extreme cases I believe there is every reason to expect similarly good results for those with noise-related tinnitus and so on.
I can tell you now that these links of brains make with physical symptoms may never disappear totally int he sense that when I am stressed, as I am lately, I can detect the odd twitch in my calves. But the cramps are gone, and between my periods of stress, even these tiny twitches are gone. We may always be prone to reacting to stress in certain ways but once we have finally made that disconnect between those symptoms and their power over us then their ability to create a downward spiral and disrupt our lives is gone.
I believe this is why TRT has over 80% success rate, and I am sure that starting it as soon as possible is a good idea but that it's never too late.
The brain is immensely powerful, the physical effects it's can have on our bodies and on our perceptions is far greater than we give it credit. If you have no ear disease, no hearing loss but you are struggling with tinnitus then you are not struggling with tinnitus: you are struggling with a brain that has trained itself to make normal, natural tinnitus present in everybody a priority in your daily experience.
If you thought your fridge was about to explode at any minute, you'd probably always hear it in the back of your mind even whilst trying to cook or watch TV. But you don't, so you are unaware that it's humming away all the time you're around it. That was you before tinnitus, and getting back there is all in the mind. Yes it takes time, but you'll get there, so will I, and I can already feel myself taking the first steps.