What happened to Jazzer's video?
We did the filming.
We did the editing.
I told it 'like it is!'
Before committing myself any further
I slept on it. I felt uneasy about it.
I consulted my two very best mates.
Should I really submit myself to the prospect of being eternally viewed as a tragic figure?
Living with severe Tinnitus is a hateful situation to have to endure.
It is not a spectator sport.
Those of us that have it know exactly what I am talking about.
Others will not have a clue, and will think that they are furthering the cause of humanity by recommending - the choosing of happiness and the enjoyment of sunshine. etc.....
Sympathy does me no good whatsoever.
It changes nothing.
Empathy and understanding are a different matter.
However, once released this resource would be available for anyone to watch at any time, repeatedly.
What negative effect might this have on me?
Would it even set me back?
Trolls are a fact of life.
They exist within our support group.
I have witnessed lovely suffering members being ridiculed for bouts of deep depression, or mental illness, by trolls who do not have the condition, but love nothing more than to spout out their callous disregard for those in extreme pain.
It clearly represents sport to them.
Vile and Appalling - they should seriously be kicked off of the forum!!
I have lived with this severe condition for well over four years now.
To a certain extent, I have learnt to live with it.
But what good would this total exposure do for me?
What good would it do anyway?
I am 76 years old.
Old people suffer illnesses. It is expected.
Are the young and vulnerable going to care, are they going to take any notice?
I think not.
By all means write an anonymous life story, if you feel it will do any good.
I wrote a 'potted' autobiography identifying myself, which I plastered all over Facebook.
I have already 'done my bit.'
But total identifiable exposure?
Not a good idea I now feel.
Perhaps even potentially dangerous.
Is this something that we should be encouraged, to do?
I believe on personal terms the answer has to be 'No.'
I am still glad that I made the video.
It will be kept.
I will ensure that it is released after I've gone.
It will inform my kids and my grand kids what actually happened to their formerly carefree 'pops.'
But until then - a bridge too far.....x