Strong Derealization and Dissociation Feelings from Hearing Loss and Tinnitus — Help?

[Lauren Morse]

I'm just at my wits end right now.

Things were just settling down for my ear and mental well being yesterday when I was exposed to a bathroom stall door slamming shut. That noise caused my left ear to feel full and stuffy, and now I have reduced hearing and greatly elevated screeching. It was only at about 82-84 decibels from the experiment I ran with the decibel meter, but I still get smited for it. And now I feel there is no way to protect myself from my surroundings.

I'm just ecstatic...I am only 21 and I have the hearing of a 50 something year old. I now frequently have strong feelings of detachment from the world and derealization experiences for great periods of time every time I lose a bit of hearing or when something happens to my ears. Essentially, I mentally stop functioning with reduced sound input and find it difficult to feel happiness, emotions, and security; I continuously feel there is a glass wall between me and the living, spirited world and I can physically 'feel' it in my ears and my head (kinda a spreading dull feeling all over). I have had moderate-severe depression, lots of brain fog, and have spent much of the past year navigating the world feeling half dead, and not giving a damn about the life I have yet to even lead (still in college). I just don't know what to do anymore, and wish that my brain didn't have to be wired in such a way to have such a strong need for rich, powerful sounds.

I realize it may be unusual to have the psychiatric reactions I get to reduced sensory input, but people still seem to trivialize my small losses of hearing, thinking that I am ridiculous and seeking attention for being sick. I have been told repeatedly 'get over it' and 'well you can still hear me so you are fine so quit whining about it'.
I wish I could say escaping from the derealization that stems from the hearing loss were that easy, but it isn't especially when there is likely a somatic explanation for the mental spaciness (vestibular damage can make your brain confused and troubled for a LONG TIME).

I would just really appreciate any advice or support/coping techniques for people who similarly find themselves in this hellish boat ride from ear problems. I'm freaking out at the moment, and seem to not have much support or comprehension in my physical world.

Thank you for any love and support!

 

[michaelbio]

I am sorry you are feeling this way! It will get better, you are just in a bad place right now. Sounds like you are just over analyzing and your anxiety is making you highly sensitive and over aware. I used to take Paxil when I was 19 until 23, I am now 34 and haven't been on medication since. Depression runs in my family as well as tinnitus. I have had tinnitus since I was 10, now at 34 and exposed myself to a lot of loud music, I have to keep myself very occupied and not focus on the noise. Some months aren't easy, but other months my focus is not on tinnitus. I suggest you take small steps to not focus on repetitive negative thinking. You need to break the habit, and try to make little steps to distract yourself with hobby, exercise, and something that makes you happy.

This is something you can get over it. People who don't have hearing issues have no way of relating or understanding. Don't try to get support and comfort from these people.

 

[michaelbio]

Meant can't not can

 

[AnxiousJon]

I strongly recommend you get some medication from an experienced mental-health specialist, not just any MD. These are advanced psychological symptoms imo. You are going to want someone that can thread the needle and give you a well-tailored medication selection, and help connect you with the more balanced side of you inside there. I believe you are right that there is a connection between your mental health problems and your sensory miscalibration.
Let me repeat and summarize for you: Please seek medical attention.