Hi
@Fabrice and welcome.
So, let me give you some good news first. Most cases of tinnitus seem to clear up in a year or two by themselves.
Try to stay calm, and please do not try to take your life.
I'm going to give you a lot of links here. They are all worth reading.
First,
@Bill Bauer wrote the following post discussing studies that show a fairly high recovery rate from tinnitus (
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/spontaneous-recovery-stats-over-70-recover-3-studies.21441/ )
Hopefully this will help set your mind at ease.
Next, maintaining a positive attitude will help. Many people here have had great success and do much better coping if they maintain a positive attitude.
@billie48 wrote his success story demonstrating how positivity helped him habituate.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/
@Michael Leigh wrote the following, excellent post on the importance of positivity:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/is-positivity-important.23150/ and the following on negativity and tinnitus
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-and-the-negative-mindset.23705/
Since I just mentioned Michael, I would HIGHLY recommend searching out his posts. He has a lot of very well written, informative, and helpful posts on tinnitus, coping mechanisms, treatment, and habituation.
Here is one to start off with, then use the search function and look for posts he started.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/
Now for the suicidal thoughts.
@tiniturtle wrote the following, excellent, post about suicidal thoughts. As one who has been there (I have attempted suicide, and think about trying again on a daily basis), I agree with what he says and would recommend reading it through and considering the points he makes.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...-about-suicide-or-the-ideation-of-such.23316/
It will get better. You found this forum. It is filled with amazingly helpful and supportive people. It also have extremely knowledgable people. You are in the right place. You do not have to fight this battle alone. We will help you. It will get better, it will clear up and/or you will learn to habituate.
I understand the frustration, I have had this my entire life, it never goes away, and I cannot drown it out with music or anything (I stopped when I got to a volume I knew would damage my ears). I know how unrelenting and debilitating the infernal ringing can be. But, I will get better and it will get easier to cope with. You will have ups and downs. You will have good days and bad days. But, I know that the good will outnumber the bad, and the bad will get fewer and further between.
Hang in there.