I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, and I've been in such mental pain today. I've gone from hopeful and loving to feeling true, real despair. I can feel the anxiety creeping on my back again.
I've had tinnitus for a few years, I believe it began when I abruptly stopped some medicine and also had a fire alarm go off near my head.
I am a musician and my hearing is very important to me, in fact THE most important thing in the world, since the way I escape and deal with any sort of pain is playing instruments.
I successfully dealt with tinnitus and it no longer remained a problem in my life for quite a few months.
I had a symptom that was something very unique (nobody can still tell me what it is) in that every now and again my hearing would "pop" suddenly. I will lose my hearing near completely in one ear and then have a loud ring, in different frequencies for 2-10 seconds and the go.
A month ago it happened, but this time it was different, it lasted for AGES and the ringing at that frequency was so loud it was beyond any other sound in the room. I had seriously muffled hearing in that ear for ages and was so afraid to even try out headphones because the pain of losing hearing is too much for me to face. I began to sink into real depression and like balloon you pop in the weak spots. Every time I was stressed my ears would go and further the stress of me believing I was losing that frequency or my hearing. The hearing was never obviously worsened until testing which phone etc.
The last few days were miraculous, sound returned to my left ear in a big way, I could hear things again properly, like my guitar and headphone sounded balanced. I can only assume it was some auditory nerve damage or alike as the damage (which I thought was permanent) healed.
I have been truly over the moon, until today.
I was sitting down and I became slightly stressed at my left ear slightly getting louder, no biggie, I shrugged it off safe in the knowledge that this has happened before and that it didn't actually damage my hearing.
Then it hit me, a sort of lowish high frequency. It carried on for 30 minutes and at this point I was getting very upset. I tried pouring water in my ears, shaking my head, everything I could to get it to go.
It has NEVER stayed this long. It lasted for about two hours after which I was completely depressed and hopeless. I can't hear properly out of my left to a degree that I have never experienced. Everything in my left ear is completely muffled and I can't hear any high pitch frequencies properly.
Why this would happen now, among some of the most hope and love I've ever felt is beyond me. I even bought an interface and really nice headphones and a Mic to start recording today some music I'm really proud of making on the guitar.
If I wake up tomorrow and I still can't hear out of my left ear I don't know what's going to happen. I have serious dissociation and obsessive problems and this is making me feel suicidal.
Please help me.