Suffering and Personality Type

[valeri]

I'm just thinking out loud, could it be that some people (me for example) have totally wrong personality to ever deal with something like this?

Chronic worrier, control freak, perfectionist, every problem has to have a solution sort of person???

And we all know how much control we have over tinnitus

I simply can not accept such a horrible imperfection in my life!

 

[RicoS]

Yes!!!!! It's the type of person I'am also..... Everything must be as it should be and accepting it is so hard for me because I try always to find a solution for everything.

 

[Manuel Tissm]

I'm also like that. I can't accept and live with it.

 

[Markku]

Some more reading...

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...ave-worse-tinnitus-are-you-an-introvert.5167/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/is-what-we-do-relevant.808/

 

[Telis]

I'm sure this comes into play A LOT...Makes it a lot harder for the people that actually have punishing T and H to deal with (being that it is not just their personality) or some kind of personality disorder making their T seem worse than it actually is.

I wish mine was personality related...I would have more hope if it was...after all, treating a personality issue isn't impossible.

When I can't take the change out of my pocket and put it on the counter without intense pain, my T is so loud and so high pitched it physically hurts my head (creating a never ending migraine headache) I would not think in my case it could be because I am a perfectionist or I have some kind of personality to blame.

This is a valid point and I'm sure a lot of suffering is due to your reaction and your personality. For those of us that actually suffer physically, it's more than frustrating to be piled into the reactor (personally issue) group. For me personally it's actually quite humiliating.

 

[jimH]

I simply can not accept such a horrible imperfection in my life!

I think that not being able to accept it can cause a person to become more frustrated, angry and anxious. From my own experience, it seems that acute anxiety exacerbates a T condition. I feel that my habituation hinged on my ability to accept my T condition and the fact that I could not control it. I could only control and work on my response to it.

For me, the degree of my habituation was directly proportional to my level of acceptance of my T condition and that my quality of life is directly proportional to my degree of habituation.

I think that a person's inability to accept their T condition could pose a very real obstacle to habituation.

 

[Lisa Robinson]

Yeah I am a control freak and this freaks me out like not in my routine or how I should live feels like it's changed me.

 

[valeri]

@Telis
I'm sorry I didn't mean to minimise anyone's suffering, I know you suffer a lot purely because it's loud and piercing, but I was referring more to people who say they don't care about their tinnitus.
I just wonder myself, how is that possible?

I guess this could easily go back to "there is tinnitus and there is TINNITUS" (I 100% agree that loudness matters, for me at least) but I just wonder if personality type play any role regardless of loudness?

 

[amandine]

@valeri

Just wanted to say that from all I have read it seems that the very positive people who have loads going on in their lives with support from family and loads of friends who are able to keep really busy etc....seem to have the least problem and to habituate with this.
The worriers and loners and people without a busy life or who are without family etc....seem to do the worst....

 

[Telis]

@valeri

Just wanted to say that from all I have read it seems that the very positive people who have loads going on in their lives with support from family and loads of friends who are able to keep really busy etc....seem to have the least problem and to habituate with this.
The worriers and loners and people without a busy life or who are without family etc....seem to do the worst....

Haha...oh man....Man oh man....Can you stereotype anymore?

I don't think it's that simple....throughout my years I have had more than a hand full with social life, huge success in my career, family, interests, etc etc etc. I suffer because I have screeching in my head and extreme H period!

I am not a worrier, negative, nor am I a loner...I do however have a severe REAL condition that has NOTHING to do with any of the factors you just mentioned.

 

[amandine]

@Telis

Well I do agree with you actually.
I am trying to tell myself that if I busy myself, try to not obsess about the T, try to ignore the un ingnorable and so on and so forth that i can make it better. I cannot live in misery like this cos really i would rather end my life now.....that is all that i was saying in my last post. All the success posts are from really positive people and maybe it is the people are positive AFTER a huge medical problem like this who are the truly real positive people - cos after all, it is not difficult to be positive when everything is going ok....just like it is easy to be generous when you have plenty.....it is the generous ones who have little who are the real givers and the positive ones who have nothing but misery who are the real positives in life.....maybe i am totally wrong and forgive me please if i am wrong....just trying t ofind my way thru and out of this maze just like you.....i try to e non judgemental in any case but this T has really wrecked me up totally.....

 

[Telis]

@Telis

Well I do agree with you actually.
I am trying to tell myself that if I busy myself, try to not obsess about the T, try to ignore the un ingnorable and so on and so forth that i can make it better. I cannot live in misery like this cos really i would rather end my life now.....that is all that i was saying in my last post. All the success posts are from really positive people and maybe it is the people are positive AFTER a huge medical problem like this who are the truly real positive people - cos after all, it is not difficult to be positive when everything is going ok....just like it is easy to be generous when you have plenty.....it is the generous ones who have little who are the real givers and the positive ones who have nothing but misery who are the real positives in life.....maybe i am totally wrong and forgive me please if i am wrong....just trying t ofind my way thru and out of this maze just like you.....i try to e non judgemental in any case but this T has really wrecked me up totally.....

Yes I agree saying is positive is important...it just sounded like you were saying that the people that suffer are negative, loners, etc etc by nature and that this is the reason they suffer. Sorry if I mis-read.

And I'm very sorry to hear you are suffering...say strong.

 

[amandine]

@Telis

No I dont think that you misread. I think that my first post was rather clumsy and thank you for getting back to me so that I could clarify my thoughts to myself and to the rest on this forum

 

[Sound Wave]

Yes, I believe this is the case. Control freaks and similar will have harder time with T than others.

 

[RicoS]

I don't want to be in control...I just do not want to have it.
Even when I don't hear it .... I KNOW I HAVE IT.......that's the bloody hell of it....I just wait until the moment comes that I hear that sound again. If I don't hear it and come in a silent meetingroom like today.....I first not hear it but the moment I sit down...my brain goes like.......well this is silent I guess we have to tune up the tinnitus some more because he likes it so much.
I had a very good period I must admit(the last few months) and I do not realy have a setback or something.....I'm just having enough of it today....I don't know what it is....perhaps the stressful situation at work....I'm always very positive and when good things happen I can accept my T....but now that i'm fully blown with negative energy at work.... it's hard to stay positive and T becomes more aware for me.

I am not a cry baby and I will not compare my T with people who have loud T because it's on another level. I have the upmost respect for Telis and other people their T which cannot be masked. Mentaly they are very strong because I cannot even handle this when I got some stress.

If I win the lottery and have 25 million I forget my T in a second. But than again if you gave me a choice right now.....and I mean it....you can give me 100 million or release me of my T....before you can say "innitus" I already would answer Tinnitus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't give a damn about money....it's just printed paper that some morron thinks has a value and we all play along with it.

I realy don't want to be here on this forum....and I know nobody wants to......but it's the only place where people understand what you are going through....the only place you can say what you feel and people can relate to it.
But I rather play with my son or read him a book or something but when it's silent in the evening T comes knocking on my door.

Nobody would be here if they didn't have T or H we perhaps would not even know what it is.
"He Rico.... it's just a sound man relax"....no it's not a sound it's something wrong ...
"He Rico... T is not a disease ....it's a symptom " .... what do I bloody care what it is I just do not want to have it. If it was alien and I was chosen by aliens because I'm special and they mark me with T so they can find me over 10 years ..... I don't care ..... I just want my life back. Believe me I still do the things I did before T ...... everything !!! .....but always with T in the back of my mind now.

As you can read I can cope realy well today with my T.....


Tomorrow Episode 493 : The Life of Rico with T

 

[amandine]

Stress - huh! I have the nutcase that I live with or should I stay stuck with here in France - again going mad. He is downstairs screaming abuse, religious abuse, mental abuse, telling me that I will be dead in 2 weeks and so on and all underlined with his comment - Jew girl, Jewish Cxxt etc...I suspect he has been drinking again. I have had nothing but total stress from him for years and I am so desperate to get away from him.

I am supposed to have no stress and I am hanging on by my fingernails trying to stay sane and normal - and what do I currently have? Well we went out to go to the doctors local for 2 reasons. One reason was so that I would have a doctor here as the last doctor decided to call me a pigeon when I asked if I could speak with him in English (he told me that he speaks english) and he speak to me in French. Second reason was to get a letter in french from the doctor to the medical board here to raise the level of his disability following the amputation of his thumb and then reimplantation following a serious work accident. He is entitled to a govt pension that is paid monthly but the percentage of disability dictates how much he gets. And even when leaving france he would still be entitled to this money. So of course he had to be there in front of the doctor so she could see his hand and the limitations he has in movement now. Well as he has done so often before, he threw a wobbly while we were waiting for our appt (actually he threw a wobbly before we even went there and just continued it - rather like a child) and walked off. I waited and saw doctor and then spoke to her about the need for the letter and of course she said that she needs to see him and made another appt for next monday.
Then I went to look for him as it is 8kms walk otherwise back home for him.
Could nt find him so drove him slowly in case I saw him on the road. Got back home just now, and found that he broke a window to get in so well done richard, and is now screaming abuse at me just like he has done for years.
My T is down today and I am determined to get better. I wonder if this T could be the result of all the stress I have had with him. He has never made me happy, I dont like him much and I find him childish and stupid and nasty and often violent certainly by mouth and often physically. I have many scars on me from his violence and these are the ones that can be seen.
We moved house and i didn t want to cos I knew that it would be more of the same but he promised that he would be ok but no he is just the same....
I am desperately trying to remain calm and adult but what I really want to do is smash something very hard on his head so that he never gets up again.
I absolutely do not forgive him and I hate him.
So stress and T?
anyhow rant over - sorry just wanted to get it out while he screams like a moron downstairs.
sorry to all for this post - it is my way of staying sane in the face of a lunatic.

 

[valeri]

@amandine

That's a horrible situation to be in.
I can't tell you what to do but, obviously, if you want to recover, you will need to sort out your family problems first. For sure such a hostile environment is not good for your tinnitus, too much stress.
But regardless of tinnitus, no women should put up with any form of abuse.
Can you get any help from social/family services?
We are all here for you but please consider getting some proper help!

 

[derpytia]

Before I had T I had major depression and anxiety and very very low self esteem (still do) but I was good at hiding it or convincing myself it wasn't there. After the T it kinda swept everything out from under the rug for me and I'm finding out some less than favorable things out about myself and what I can and cannot tolerate. Some days are hopeful and some are just plain awful and make me question the worth of my life as a whole now and in the future.

 

[OddV]

Anyone ever take the Myers Briggs personality type test? http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

I'm an INTJ... Would be interested to see what others are.

 

[amandine]

I am INFJ as well - so what does that tell us then? That we are all INFJ types? Interested to hear too fm others....actually my answers are different to what they would have been before this T incident so does that mean that my natural essence / personality / character has been altered? Any thoughts - anyone else changed like this? Does this mean that we have to fight to get back to ourselves? Would that be the cure? Is @Dr. Nagler correct in that sense when he says let go - by letting go are we getting back to our natural selves and so become happier again and then at peace within ourselves out T torture disappears?
Or is this just another ramble of nonsense?
thoughts anyone?

 

[Leah]

I tested as ESTJ, thought I was more of an extrovert. Does age play a factor, I would have answered some questions differently 20 years ago.

 

[Karen]

I just took the test, and I'm an INFJ. Before my tinnitus started, I also tested as an INFJ, so I don't think it really influenced me that much. I'm still basically the same person I was before. However, it has been almost four and half years for me since this tinnitus thing started, and I'm much calmer than I was in the beginning.

 

[amandine]

I seem to be getting calmer too and more able to hear it but ignore it
either that or something is going on that i dont understadn
also some days it is much quieter than others
but some days i am nore nervous but not like in the beginning
but more introverted and afraid than i was before
so my personality has changed but i hope to get me back
i just want me back - can you understand this please as i dont think anyone else i speak to around me here will get what i am talking about

 

[Leah]

I think we all know that the challenges of T can change us.
Avoiding loud places, certain foods...the list goes on.
I try very hard not to let T dictate my mood ..,but yet it does.

 

[Karen]

Me, too, Leah! The fearfulness that we sometimes get from tinnitus is really hard to describe, and other people wouldn't understand. Our mood can really dictate our actions, that's for sure! It has taken me awhile to be able to live life normally again, and I still have occasional setbacks, but for the most part, I'm back to being me again! I wish the same for all of you.

 

[Alex Senkowski]

I don't know about the rest of you, but my personality does have an impact on my T. I am an introvert and spend a lot of time alone. So, I have a lot of time to brood over my T and make it worse. I spent last weekend with some family at a chalet in Blue Mountain and enjoyed myself so much that my T was reduced to a comfortable level throughout. I've been an introvert my entire life and now it literally has become a hazard to my health. Keep yourselves occupied however you can!

 

[all to gain]

I'm just thinking out loud, could it be that some people (me for example) have totally wrong personality to ever deal with something like this?

Chronic worrier, control freak, perfectionist, every problem has to have a solution sort of person???

And we all know how much control we have over tinnitus

I simply can not accept such a horrible imperfection in my life!

This fits me to a T, ie even if it was mild I think I would find it difficult to live with.

However, my T is actually BAD. So, I have the worst of both worlds so to speak.

However, it is very hard to be totally objective about this. Where does the severity of my T start in relation to my personality's perception of it?

I'm sure this comes into play A LOT...Makes it a lot harder for the people that actually have punishing T and H to deal with (being that it is not just their personality) or some kind of personality disorder making their T seem worse than it actually is.

I wish mine was personality related...I would have more hope if it was...after all, treating a personality issue isn't impossible.

When I can't take the change out of my pocket and put it on the counter without intense pain, my T is so loud and so high pitched it physically hurts my head (creating a never ending migraine headache) I would not think in my case it could be because I am a perfectionist or I have some kind of personality to blame.

This is a valid point and I'm sure a lot of suffering is due to your reaction and your personality. For those of us that actually suffer physically, it's more than frustrating to be piled into the reactor (personally issue) group. For me personally it's actually quite humiliating.

Mine is a high pitched whine and causes me ear pain and my head to hurt.

I'm sure it could get worse though, especially in regard to the level of sound.

 

[Harley]

I'm just thinking out loud, could it be that some people (me for example) have totally wrong personality to ever deal with something like this?

Chronic worrier, control freak, perfectionist, every problem has to have a solution sort of person???

And we all know how much control we have over tinnitus

I simply can not accept such a horrible imperfection in my life!

Great post Valeri.

I think one's psychological profile plays a big role for sure.
Just like yourself, I need to be in control of my surroundings and I have zero tolerance for unsolved problems.
Not sure if that's good or bad, but that is how it is.

Some people would say that I'm a militant asshole, but my personality had always served me well.
I never start conflicts, but I finish them when I'm put in that situation.
Two eyes for one is my motto, however If you got to know me, you would most likely think of me as one of the nicest people you ever met.

Some say that submitting to Tinnitus and accepting it is the key, but that is simply not possible, given this personality of mine.

To me submitting to Tinnitus would be like submitting to a rapist.
I would rather die than live on my knees like that (and by the looks of it, I most likely will).

I perceive Tinnitus as my #1 enemy, whom unfortunately happens to live inside my head.
Once all of my efforts to get rid of it fail and once all of my hopes for some kind of a real treatment are gone, I will blast that piece of shit out of the back of my skull, because I can't live like this.

I simply refuse to participate in this sub-human like existence filled with 24/7 torture and anxiety.

 

[PeteJ]

Great post Valeri.

I think one's psychological profile plays a big role for sure.
Just like yourself, I need to be in control of my surroundings and I have zero tolerance for unsolved problems.
Not sure if that's good or bad, but that is how it is.

Some people would say that I'm a militant asshole, but my personality had always served me well.
I never start conflicts, but I finish them when I'm put in that situation.
Two eyes for one is my motto, however If you got to know me, you would most likely think of me as one of the nicest people you ever met.

Some say that submitting to tinnitus and accepting it is the key, but that is simply not possible, given this personality of mine.

To me submitting to tinnitus would be like submitting to a rapist.
I would rather die than live on my knees like that (and by the looks of it I most likely will).

I perceive tinnitus as my #1 enemy, whom unfortunately happens to live inside my head.
Once all of my efforts to get rid of it fail and once all of my hopes for some kind of a real treatment are gone, I will blast that piece of shit out of the back of my skull, because I can't live like this.

I simply refuse to participate in this sub-human like existence filled with 24/7 torture and anxiety.

That's fucking bullshit. Blaming any of it on "personality" is stupid.

The physical phenomenon of tinnitus could give no flying fucks about your personality.

 

[Harley]

That's fucking bullshit. Blaming any of it on "personality" is stupid.

The physical phenomenon of tinnitus could give no flying fucks about your personality.

I think you have completely misunderstood what I was trying to say.

As per the title of this thread, I'm simply agreeing with the suggestion that certain personality types have harder time dealing with tinnitus.