Yes, yours is mild because you earlier mentioned you can fully mask it with a fan LOL
Suicidal
- Thread starter jeremy06
- Start date
Star64
Member
[QUOTE="Ed209, post: 508004, member: 10416"
Most people go on a merry-go-round of drugs, but if the underlying problem is not resolved, then they only mask it temporarily. It's clear that my mom is beyond help, so in her case, there really is no treatment and this can be true for many out there which is likely why the suicide rates are so high.
As a direct comparison, tinnitus can be treated with benzos, but they don't actually fix the cause of the problem.[/QUOTE]
Merry-Go-round of drugs is the norm for many people suffering from severe depression. Many have continuous in patient treatment, this often has them referred to as revolving door patients.
It's one of the saddest things to witness in mental health.
You are right ed comparing tinnitus to other conditions such as depression is useless, and it serves no purpose for anyone. There are lots of horrid conditions and tinnitus is just one of them. I am very sorry to read about your mum suffering with debilitating depression.
I fully understand Pete's frustration though as I believe tinnitus is not taken seriously by the medical community.
All psyche meds can cause horrendous side effects and anyone contemplating taking them should be closely monitored.
Benzos are often used as treatment for tinnitus, but these drugs are Highly dangerous and should not be used long term.
They are also known to cause tinnitus and for anyone contemplating taking them I suggest you read the ashton manual as it speaks about the link between benzo use and tinnitus. Even with short term usage for some people.
I have had my own issues with these drugs and suicidal ideation was one of my main symptoms along with worsening of my tinnitus and many more horrid symptoms.
I would ask people to read the stories on BenzoBuddies before they resort to their use.
Most people go on a merry-go-round of drugs, but if the underlying problem is not resolved, then they only mask it temporarily. It's clear that my mom is beyond help, so in her case, there really is no treatment and this can be true for many out there which is likely why the suicide rates are so high.
As a direct comparison, tinnitus can be treated with benzos, but they don't actually fix the cause of the problem.[/QUOTE]
Merry-Go-round of drugs is the norm for many people suffering from severe depression. Many have continuous in patient treatment, this often has them referred to as revolving door patients.
It's one of the saddest things to witness in mental health.
You are right ed comparing tinnitus to other conditions such as depression is useless, and it serves no purpose for anyone. There are lots of horrid conditions and tinnitus is just one of them. I am very sorry to read about your mum suffering with debilitating depression.
I fully understand Pete's frustration though as I believe tinnitus is not taken seriously by the medical community.
All psyche meds can cause horrendous side effects and anyone contemplating taking them should be closely monitored.
Benzos are often used as treatment for tinnitus, but these drugs are Highly dangerous and should not be used long term.
They are also known to cause tinnitus and for anyone contemplating taking them I suggest you read the ashton manual as it speaks about the link between benzo use and tinnitus. Even with short term usage for some people.
I have had my own issues with these drugs and suicidal ideation was one of my main symptoms along with worsening of my tinnitus and many more horrid symptoms.
I would ask people to read the stories on BenzoBuddies before they resort to their use.
MemberI totally agree. I personally don't like psyche drugs, but they have their place. For example, it's better to be on benzos than dead if that is what it comes to.
bobvann
Member
Common you can just get passed the "distorted thinking."
I guess you got tired of that BS too which is why you are also "here"
Star64
Member
I agree Ed but benzos also cause more suicides than you hear about.
My friends father inlaw committed suicide just over a year ago, he had Meniere's.
He was not suicidal previously, no psyche history, he was given benzo he took it nightly for 5 weeks and all hell broke loose.
Drs failed to recognise he hit tolerance, told him it was impossible. He left a journal, his wife also wrote down all his symptoms, I've read it, he was in constant withdrawal.
It's a coroner's case and family have been told they found concerns in his treatment and investigation is still not final.
I just hope they educate the medical staff involved. I understand all meds can have a purpose, I gave them out for decades as a living, I am not against medications but with benzos informed consent I feel is necessary.
You don't have to convince me, Star, I've been reading about this stuff for the last five years and I agree with you what you're saying. It's just that I happen to know some stories where people outright say that they saved their life so I am able to see how this grey area can be valuable as a last resort to some people. When someone is at the point of suicide it's then when I become open to all options and see benzos as a legitimate option.
It's not something I'd recommend to people that's for sure. I think psychotropic drugs are often handed out way too easily before other treatment modalities are tried, and this to me at least, makes big pharmaceutical companies some of the biggest "legalised" drug dealers on Earth. We often hear about the war on drugs, but some prescription drugs are worse and they are often handed out like candy because it's easy and profitable.
As a side note, my mom is also on clonazepam and has been for years as well as loads of other drugs.
You say that until you get hooked on benzos and wish you never started taking them. The problem with benzos is that it's very hard not to get addicted to them when you have something like tinnitus which is always there.
Hi guys, I am truly running out of the will to carry on... I want to say that I am thankful that my tinnitus is pretty mild and almost non-existent, but my hearing loss is debilitating, and my hyperacusis can be too.
My new job is going pretty poorly, I cannot learn effectively and I cannot conversate with my peers. Some of them hangout after work, and I always just go home to avoid the misery of struggling to hear anything. My worklife and social life are seriously suffering. At the age of 23 this is very hard thing to deal with. I don't know how much longer I can continue on like this.
The treatments in trials are the only thing I can cling to in order to keep my spirits somewhat up. But I don't know if they will even restore my hearing to what it once was. This issue has been going on for 5 years, and I am worried that I am outside of the therapeutic window for regenerating nerves and their synapses.
I say this because I am sure that I have Synaptopathy. My audiograms are near perfect, and yet my clarity and speech discrimination is pretty bad. Hearing aids cannot help me, and I have no hope of getting better for the near future. I feel isolated, trapped and alone. I don't know if I can hold out for a potential cure. I cannot escape this affliction. Every minute of every day I am reminded by it, and held back by it. Life is, and has been hell.
My new job is going pretty poorly, I cannot learn effectively and I cannot conversate with my peers. Some of them hangout after work, and I always just go home to avoid the misery of struggling to hear anything. My worklife and social life are seriously suffering. At the age of 23 this is very hard thing to deal with. I don't know how much longer I can continue on like this.
The treatments in trials are the only thing I can cling to in order to keep my spirits somewhat up. But I don't know if they will even restore my hearing to what it once was. This issue has been going on for 5 years, and I am worried that I am outside of the therapeutic window for regenerating nerves and their synapses.
I say this because I am sure that I have Synaptopathy. My audiograms are near perfect, and yet my clarity and speech discrimination is pretty bad. Hearing aids cannot help me, and I have no hope of getting better for the near future. I feel isolated, trapped and alone. I don't know if I can hold out for a potential cure. I cannot escape this affliction. Every minute of every day I am reminded by it, and held back by it. Life is, and has been hell.
Shit, maybe you could get into the PIPE-505 trials. You sound like the perfect candidate tbh. I didn't realize your hearing loss was the biggest issue. What was the inciting incident? Viral infection?
In terms of regeneration, nothing should be outside of the window. It's true you don't want continued degeneration, though. In this way, I'd just view re-/degeneration as a straight spectrum, with no real "drop off" point. I can't empathize unfortunately because I'd rather be deaf in my left ear than have my tinnitus, but my hearing is otherwise excellent. Surely you have some coping mechanisms like gaming or art or something?
Look into nicotinamide riboside. People swear by it for preventing hearing loss. We have a thread here where some testify it to regenerate some hearing as well. Also I'd definitely start taking Acetyl L-Carnitine and I'd consider Lion's Mane and Astaxanthin.
Write the note and put a pin in it. Fast forward 3 years, if, you still the same, go ahead.
Do you still go to work? What kind of work do you do?
So back in Summer of 2014, I went to some concerts about a week apart ( I don't regret this because I got to see my favorite band, and I would do it over again if I had the choice, honestly). Then after these concerts, I remember listening to one song on full blast in some earbuds shortly after. (I however regret this very much) I was very ignorant and downright dumb. I always think back to that moment as "The straw that broke the camel's back." Immediately following that I didn't notice any issues, no ringing, or anything. I do go see the a GP shortly after for some ear pain and that was it.
I want to add that for my entire life I have been a huge hypochondriac, I have had self-perceived issues with breathing, swallowing, and I even was convinced multiple times that I had brain injuries. These problems all went away once I forgot about them and became distracted with other things.
So after visiting the doctor, I began worrying about my hearing. I don't know if I really did have problems hearing or it was all in my head, as the other things were. I think this because for a short span after visiting the doctor I forgot about my hearing problems. I went a semester at community college enjoying life, conversating, going to parties and everything. But, I remember after that, the problems all came back. In 2015, I had a earpiece from work malfunction in my right ear with very loud static noise, and it caused immense anxiety for me. (At that time, the hearing issues were still on my mind.) I remember panicking and thinking, "That was an acoustic trauma, you now have tinnitus, there's no way you don't, that was so loud!" And welp, later that night I heard a ringing in that ear....I cried and was very emotional.
Soon after that incident, I enrolled in the AM-101 trials after coming on this site and finding out about it. It didn't help me unfortunately, and I never knew if I got placebo or not as I dropped out early. I know that a few months after, my ringing did go away but my hearing issues remained. I certainly don't attribute that to AM-101.
Since 2015 the hearing and tinnitus has come and gone. I again went with spans of time where I had no ringing or perceived hearing troubles. Even when I smoked weed, which caused huge spikes for me in time of tinnitus, there was nothing. I had many nights of hearing nothing, I slept just fine. Just this semester at University, I went a few months without any difficulty. I went axe throwing with this girl, and it was loud in there. (Music and people yelling) I remember not having any hearing trouble. I conversed with her and others without any issues. I feel like if I did, my mind would immediately go back to remembering my hearing troubles.
Fast forward to a week later (late January 2020), and I went out to a bar with friends. I certainly drank a lot, but still, I remember having no perceived issues. I woke up the next morning and I remembered that it was a bit loud in there, and I remembered standing somewhat near a speaker for about an hour, and I became worried. Then it all came back to me, the ringing came back and so did the hearing problems. I don't know if I actually did damage or I'm experiencing all of this because I remembered my hearing problems and became hyper-focused on them. Since then, I have been really struggling. (The stress of a new job and graduating college has probably added to this.)
I now think about these issues essentially every waking moment, and I am always so focused on what people are saying that even if I understand the words, I don't remember what the hell they said. I am having one hell of a time at this new job for sure. In the past, I think I was able to forget these issues because part of me believed it was all in my head, but now I am very certain it's real...there's no way my mind can cause such hearing problems, no way, it has to be real.
The only way in which I think it's still made-up is that music still sounds great, and the fact that all I do is think about my hearing, so part of me believes that I turned a natural ability (hearing) into something very conscious and manual (If that makes sense) and that's why I'm having difficulty. Every conversation that occurs around me I intensely try to tap into and listen, and when I miss words I become panicked. Maybe I just need to let it happen, but I can't get my mind off of it. Am I having trouble hearing because I actually have bad hearing? Or am I having trouble hearing because I can't stop worrying about my hearing...It's all driving me nuts. I almost want a diagnosis of hearing damage so I can maybe move on, but since I suspect I have Synaptopathy I can't get one!!
(Sorry for the extremely long post, but this is all of my history with hearing problems, and I kind of needed to vent)
This is the most complex combination of idiopathic and possibly actual acoustic trauma/NIHL induced hearing loss & tinnitus I've ever come across. I really think you would do well to speak to a CBT specialist, and I never say that. If the tinnitus is minimal it should do you loads of good. This is way beyond my pay-grade, though. I'm here with you though brother.
It's reassuring to hear that I can still have my hearing regenerated...I just gotta stick it out, but every day is a struggle and nothing is fun. Thinking of the future is really the only thing that makes me smile and have some sense of happiness. These treatments will have a great double-pronged effect for me. It will help solve any actual hearing issues I have, and if there aren't any issues, it will convince my mind that I am now better!
And I do play video games but even that is anxiety-inducing because I struggle to hear with that too. Maybe I just need to play with the volume off, lol.
Also yes, I have an arsenal of supplements in my cabinet, basically everything that has been discussed on this site I now take daily. So far, nothing has really improved, but it's still early on!
I believe you but I think I hate life more than you.
I also hate people too.
I hate life in general. I am tired of my head and ears having such loud ringing and buzzing. I don't want to be alive anymore. I need a suicide method that I am certain will be painless and successful. I envy that Allan guy. I want to do that.
I'm going through the same hell. I went to a few metal shows in small venues in 2019 and the 3rd one broke my hearing. Like you my audiogram is "normal" but I struggle with speech clarity. I can't hear my own voice like I used to, even it is muddy. I seem to suffer in big open areas with unaccomodating acoustics. Also, background noise. This is the scariest thing I've ever gone through. It has blown my confidence in my job and moving forward in life. The only thing getting me through the days is the hope for the future drugs. I feel like I'm going to need all of the drugs available to have any hope of hearing like I used to.
I definitely agree that we may both need multiple kinds of treatments to completely resolve our issues. And you're right, it's very scary. You feel as if nobody can help you, because they can't....theres no cure right now. Audiologists and ENTs are grossly uninformed and ignorant regarding hidden hearing loss, (Which I strongly believe we both have) and that is a fact that I have a tough time coming to terms with...Even in the modern age of medicine, these professionals cannot assist us, its frightening. "Oh but you're hearing is fine at these 8 frequencies out of 20,000 THOUSAND frequencies, so your hearing is just fine!" Its absolute bs, and I try my best not to laugh right in their face when they tell me such nonsense.
Only thing we can do is put our heads down and try to "live" until some remedy arrives. Yes its going to be very difficult, but it's either this or ending it. But I refuse to end it when there are glimmers of hope around the corner....And when there are people who need me to stay here... I assume the same is true for you too. We can get through this. I PRAY that we can soon look back and say, "Wow that was a very dark time in my life, I am so thankful that I'm fixed now. I'm happy that I didn't give up...".
Keep thinking of, and imagining a better tomorrow. It's the only thing that will get us to persevere through this hell!
Yes this is not a life at all now. But I'm too scared to kill myself for fear of not succeeding.
I have terrible luck.
Our beautiful country does not have euthanasia.
HootOwl
Member
Have you not been following the current state of hair cell and synapse regeneration? This isn't fiction anymore.
I gave myself catastrophic tinnitus by trying to put on my new earmuffs LOL.
I was starting to habituate to my last worsening since October...
So now wait 12 months again to see if it gets better. Hahaahahaha.
I am officially crazy now.
I was starting to habituate to my last worsening since October...
So now wait 12 months again to see if it gets better. Hahaahahaha.
I am officially crazy now.
Have you ever considered suicide by cop? In Toronto they will shoot you 6 times if you pull a knife.
ajc
Member
- Feb 6, 2018
- 1,170
- Tinnitus Since
- 11/2002; spike 2009; worse 2017-18
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Loud music - noise damage
Are you trolling? Some of these hearing regeneration treatments are in clinical trials at the moment.
Obviously they are not in major hospitals yet because they're being trialed on humans.
bobvann
Member
Lenire, TRT, CBT may help some but not the majority from what I am reading. I have tried TRT & CBT to no avail. I have no interest in Lenire.
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