Hey Allan, I know this comment will probably of very little use to you, and I completely understand how you feel, I do. I don't think there is any age where your child / children will be better equipped to deal with a parents death. I am 32, and whilst my parents are in good health, I am dreading the day they leave this earth, and I think whether I'm 32, 42, 52, if I lost a parent to suicide it'd have a huge impact.
I don't know how long you've been suffering, I'm 21 years into this and I am hopeful that within the next ten years something will work. 5 years ago I was looking things up and it was all theoretical, and now they're actually doing trials. That's good progress no matter how slow.
I really want to reach out and give you a big big big hug. I also suffer with balance issues, heart issues and other things which frustrate the hell out of me, and I often wonder if I can survive this, but quite frankly you are stronger than you know. You've obviously done so well to get to this point, so whether its 10 years, 20 years or whatever, please don't give up. I'm sure your kids will want you to see how their lives have flourished in their 20's and beyond.
Sending you a virtual hug