Hey man, sorry this isn't really very supportive, I imagine there's not a lot one can say to change your mind, because I have to admit I'm in the same boat as you, and feel very similar...
Right now, with mild tinnitus in quiet rooms for about 3 months (congrats on making 10 years, I cannot comprehend the strength you have to keep going), I tell myself "Ok, life's a bit shit right now, but let's just take each day by day, keeping as busy and distracted as possible, be as social as possible to get through this, improvement/treatment/cure will come eventually"
I guess the last part is where my suicidal thoughts lie, I know I didn't deserve this, none of us do, we're all victims of unlucky circumstance and mine was very avoidable but a piece of plastic from Amazon ensured it was 'safe' and in believing that, my ears f###ed. But if this was just a one or two year malady, I'd be fine knowing there's an end to all the really low days, but seeing prognoses of SNHL and recovery makes me think this is unlikely. Just have to play the waiting game, trying to make as much of this miserable life as possible, playing gigs, partying cus f### it, T won't stop me from living the life I always wanted, .
In the likely event of suffering 2-3 years, my attention would be fully on a treatment/cure as recovery would be off the list. And like you, I'm giving scientists 10 years to prove I can still live the life I want without this major setback to my overall mood. If they come up with something that works, great, I'd know it was worth all the suffering. If they don't and all these regeneration drugs and stimulation therapies are a big letdown, then yes, I'll likely go to London and find the tallest building I can. At least I can die knowing I've achieved mostly what I wanted, playing in a band in my youth, live a fairly privileged life, make cool nice friends, avoid seeing my family die around me as I grow old with a blaring noise (selfish I know, but T does that to a man). There's not much point just dealing with this volume noise forever making me depressed, It's not me. A cure would probably give me PTSD anyway as I spent so many years near-emotionless and frail, but that's the most I can hope for to replace this ghastly ringing
So yeah, right now I'm just taking things slow, day by day, gradually feeling more human with the hope of an end to this debilitating unnecessary condition. And if that hope is crushed in the future and dies, I say goodbye to this world along with it.
Sorry, not trying to form a pact or make you feel worse, just needed to relate to someone. I'm generally getting better at habituating etc. but like I said, I'm physically unable to keep it up forever
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