Terrified, Despondent...

[SallyT]

New here but have been reading posts. Developed T out of the blue about 4 weeks now. First couple of weeks I tried to stay positive and think it was temporary. Week 3 I was full-on anxiety panic mode. Been to see my primary who looked in my ears ask me some questions and said I had to learn to live with it because it was due to hearing loss. Didn't suggest any follow-ups with specialists.

I made myself an appt. at Mass Eye and Ear the through a misunderstanding it was only for a hearing test. I'm seeing an otolaryngologist there this Wednesday, he also specializes in Neurotology.
In the meantime my Dr. gave me Citalopram which involves onboarding and takes weeks to work on the anxiety so I've got Ativan as a stop-gap.

The horrible high-pitched shrieking in my head is driving me insane! I was hoping after 4 weeks I'd be better at not fighting it, but alas no!

Medical appointments are so hard to get and you have to wait so long! I'm still hoping maybe there will be a medical reason that can be fixed because I'm terrified I'm going to have to live like this for the rest of my life.

I understand eventually people do habituate but this has been the worst four weeks of my life, and I've been through some pretty scary life threatening things. But this is torture non-stop!

 

[Lee 47]

I understand your anxiety, I was the same way. Have your hearing tests then they should determine where your losses are at from there you can figure out what frequency your tinnitus is at. Hearing aids can help or eliminate tinnitus. My father has tinnitus that is quite awful he has been wearing hearing aids for at least a decade. He has cricket sounds, high and low pitch tones and with the aids in, hears non of it. Of course he has hearing losses too. Myself, I had left ear trauma about six weeks ago, and the ringing really picked the last 12 days. I've been taking Lipo Flavonoid vitamins and simply resting when possible.
Married with two children and plenty of responsibilities and a job where this "T" is a huge distraction. Which is why I've decided to go get fitted for a hearing aid tomorrow, even if this clears up down the road I can at least concentrate in the short term. There are many, many good folks on this sight that can probably give much better advice then I. Try to sleep, a little z quil usually helps me knock off.
Have a good evening, and relax if you can. I know it's hard.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/
Found this link from a gentleman on this forum. Very well written.

 

[billie48]

I understand eventually people do habituate but this has been the worst four weeks of my life

Welcome to the forum. Your reaction is quite normal. Anxiety for the unknown with the alien T screaming non-stop is truly terrifying but it probably will improve over time. You may need to start masking the high pitch T to help emotion stability as stress and anxiety are bad for T. I have the high pitch T plus severe hyperacusis too. I suffered nightmare with these two monsters initially with relentless anxiety and panic attacks. But given time and with some helpful strategies, I now live a normal, productive and absolutely enjoyable life. If my success story can help, check it out. Take good care. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[Jenni8619]

@SallyT

I am so sorry to hear you are struggling I am newer to this forum but wanted to say welcome. I know it's easier said than done, but try to calm your anxiety, and get some proper sleep! I listen to nature music, I like the waterfall and thunderstorm noises as background music while I'm reading, cooking, even while I'm cleaning! At bedtime, I have a tower fan for white noise.

Hugs,

Jenni

 

[astronomer]

know the story of terrified ,depressed, anxiety,what if lifelong ? it might be for me I don't know about others but five years later I live almost normal ,as a teenager I lost my best friend to cystic fibrosis,he lost all his dreams and hopes , 35 years later I still have dreams and hopes, life is good ! tinnitus is like an injury, I protect that injury as much as I can ,care about myself and enjoy life while it is here, K.C

 

[devonlee]

Medical appointments are so hard to get and you have to wait so long!

You only have to wait until Wednesday for your appointment. I have to wait 2 months to see an ENT.

 

[Xenia]

@SallyT Hi Sally , I know exactly what you are going through, I am experiencing it myself right now since my tinnitus has gone from mild to high pitch screeching, its torture as you described it so well. Please know you are not alone, people here are very supportive.

Listening to crickets chirping on youtube helps reduce my anxiety as can cover up the high screeching and it makes me feel less anxious when I think that the crickets are from outside source !! Pink Noise also helps me but I have to have it put on loud currently to cover this stage I am going through.
Best wishes.

 

[SallyT]

Thanks for the replies.
I too have a job that tends to be high stress. I am taking a bit of time off because I am useless right now.
I appreciate the support so much. I've been trying to find people who know about the anxiety and panic, it helps to know I am not alone.
we're due for a monster snow storm here tomorrow and I am so worried it's going to make getting to my appointment on Weds difficult...not easy for me to get to Boston and I had to fight to get that appointment sooner than April.
Mornings are the worst. I wake up all anxious and shaky but I think that may be part of the onboarding of the Citalopram...worse before it's better??

 

[lisa49]

Thank you for sharing your story and you sound just like me. After about four days of the ringing I thought I was going crazy so I had my husband take me to the ER and get a CT scan. I have since been to two ENT's, GP, Chiropractor, Homeopathic, and they all say I have T. My GP said there are many causes to T and not many know how or what can cure T, but he did mention Therapy, I assume it's head and neck therapy. We are concentrating on one thing first, T is next. They don't seemed real concerned because I don't have hearing loss, so I have decided to live with it and most days, recently, I am fine. When I first had it, I was not! I actually picked some medicine up from Walgreens today, it's new and it's called Lipo Flavonoid Plus for Ear Ringing. I'm going to try, what do I have to loose, it's a dietary supplement specifically for T. Good Luck!

 

[SallyT]

lisa49, same here went to the ER about 5 days in, thought I was having a stroke but it was just a panic attack as it turns out. They also gave me a CT scan.
I have been taking the supplements you mention as well can't hurt right?
I actually had a fairly decent day today where the volume was very low and I could deal with it but it seems like clockwork late afternoon and evening the volume and Pitch turns up so sharp and loud it's SO frustrating.
Right now I am trying to stay calm and accept it and distract myself..and hope it quiets down by bedtime.

 

[fishbone]

New here but have been reading posts. Developed T out of the blue about 4 weeks now. First couple of weeks I tried to stay positive and think it was temporary. Week 3 I was full-on anxiety panic mode. Been to see my primary who looked in my ears ask me some questions and said I had to learn to live with it because it was due to hearing loss. Didn't suggest any follow-ups with specialists.

I made myself an appt. at Mass Eye and Ear the through a misunderstanding it was only for a hearing test. I'm seeing an otolaryngologist there this Wednesday, he also specializes in Neurotology.
In the meantime my Dr. gave me Citalopram which involves onboarding and takes weeks to work on the anxiety so I've got Ativan as a stop-gap.

The horrible high-pitched shrieking in my head is driving me insane! I was hoping after 4 weeks I'd be better at not fighting it, but alas no!

Medical appointments are so hard to get and you have to wait so long! I'm still hoping maybe there will be a medical reason that can be fixed because I'm terrified I'm going to have to live like this for the rest of my life.

I understand eventually people do habituate but this has been the worst four weeks of my life, and I've been through some pretty scary life threatening things. But this is torture non-stop!

Hello

Yes, this is scary because you never had this issue before. it is a normal reaction and all of us have been in your shoes. Over time it does get better though, you CAN and will adapt to the tinnitus. Life will go on and you will be fine. The ket to all of this is to not fixate on it. Don't dwell on the sound and focus on it. People do that and drive themselves nuts.

Learn to relax and try to get at least 30 minutes of walking daily, if you can. All of this helps a lot and reduces your stress and makes your tinnitus manageable....

You will be ok...

 

[SallyT]

went to my appointment yesterday at Mass Eye and Ear.
Basically was told high freq. hearing loss im right ear so brain causing the sounds.
also...was told if I had gotten there sooner than 4 wks after onset (and it's exactly 4 wks) they could have started steroid therapy which might have helped recover hearing. but too late now.
really upset that the appointments are so hard to get and that I could have gotten there sooner!!
Sleep is torture. I can get to sleep for about 4 hours then end up tossing and turning the rest of the night and end up getting up in the morning in full anxiety mode with the T blaring.
Yes I've been using sound machine at night and headphones with sounds.
This sucks.

 

[Girlpower]

Im sorry that you got this.. I woke up 3am from sleep and suddenly could hear a low high pitch tone in my head.. then I started to panic and the tone got louder. Because of my panic the brain didnt forget the tone and therefor it got stuck in my memory. I have tinnitus 24/7.
In 2007 I got TTTS from a child that screamed loud in my left ear. Its a loud buzz in my ear and I feel the vibration of the tympani muscle in my inner ear.
Hang in there.. tinnitus and panic/stress are enemies. The more panic/stressed you are the tinnitus get alot higher.. easier said than done..imI know. I have been where you are now. Now 10 years later I kind of learned to deal with it, I dont get so anxious anymore. I always have sound around me.
Be strong, it is not dangerous.. just very very frustrating and ANNOYING.
Hugs

 

[Michael Leigh]

Be strong, it is not dangerous.. just very very frustrating and ANNOYING.

I admire your optimism and positive approach to tinnitus, and this is certainly the way to go with this condition. However, tinnitus comes in many forms and intensities. Fortunately, most people have it mild or moderate perhaps even severe at times. They do manage to habituate and are able to carry on with their lives with out too much problems. When tinnitus is loud and intrusive and this level is sustained, it can be seriously debilitating and one may need medication to cope. It is nothing like what you describe as "very very frustrating and annoying" for it is an entirely different beast. Please believe me for I and others that have it severe know.
Michael

 

[Michael Leigh]

@SallyT
Welcome to tinnitus talk. Please click on the link below as you might find the information helpful.
All the best
Michael
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/

 

[SallyT]

Thank you Michael.
My primary care doctor did tell me you have to live with it you can either fight it or accept it. She said it's so coldly and matter-of-factly I was pretty distraught. She did give me antidepressant which I'm in the process of onboarding it's only been a week but I really think for me I do need something to manage my anxiety and depression right now.
When I saw the specialist yesterday he's totally against medication. In his words "well you can still hear the sound but you just don't care" and quite frankly unless you've walked a mile in my shoes that's kind of what I'm after right now so I can resume my normal life and get back to work and not feel trapped by this monster well I work on my attitude etcetera. I'd rather hear it and not care then hear it and not be able to escape it at all.
That said as I read through the Forum and various online things I am trying to avoid horror stories and negative information and only focus on the positive. The only way I'm going to be able to move forward is to get out of the pit I'm in right now and understand that life is not over. I have family that loves me and I certainly don't want to sit around the house all day everyday in a dark place.
Thank you for referring me to your post.

 

[sleepy]

Thank you Michael.
My primary care doctor did tell me you have to live with it you can either fight it or accept it. She said it's so coldly and matter-of-factly I was pretty distraught. She did give me antidepressant which I'm in the process of onboarding it's only been a week but I really think for me I do need something to manage my anxiety and depression right now.
When I saw the specialist yesterday he's totally against medication. In his words "well you can still hear the sound but you just don't care" and quite frankly unless you've walked a mile in my shoes that's kind of what I'm after right now so I can resume my normal life and get back to work and not feel trapped by this monster well I work on my attitude etcetera. I'd rather hear it and not care then hear it and not be able to escape it at all.
That said as I read through the Forum and various online things I am trying to avoid horror stories and negative information and only focus on the positive. The only way I'm going to be able to move forward is to get out of the pit I'm in right now and understand that life is not over. I have family that loves me and I certainly don't want to sit around the house all day everyday in a dark place.
Thank you for referring me to your post.

I got my T on Feb. I was doing fine until my T changed in tone. It went from a ringing sound to crickets. This week has been rough for me. I was unable to sleep until I had to beg my doctor for sleeping medication. I feel much more rested and optimistic.

My ENT told me he has T as well. He used to be in the military, but the advice he gave me was to just deal with the first month and things will get better. My situation changed more as I found someone on this forum that encouraged me. I'm happy you're taking appropriate steps to fight your condition.

Some posts I've read had other T people experiencing noises as loud as fire alarms. You might need to experiment with your body to see what drastically affects your T. I'm still working on mine, but I'm in a better place. Good luck to you. I hope you beat this and have this noise never bother you again.

 

[SallyT]

It's odd how we all perceive the sounds and what troubles us and what we can live with. In my case when it does quiet down it sounds like faint high pitched crickets which I can live with. But at night it's usually a pulsing loud high frequency sound that's nothing like crickets.

 

[sleepy]

Sleeping position sometimes changes my noise. Elevated blood pressure and anxiety plays a role in my sound. The crickets T has been rough for me when it hits a higher volume. We're all different people, but speaking to someone that understands your situation feels more like remedy, at least for me.

 

[SallyT]

I agree. I too can manipulate the sound level at times with head position.

 

[lisa49]

@SallyT sorry to hear about your hearing loss. Stay strong and positive as you are doing, I find that does lessen the T. I have no hearing loss and experience T, it's so frustrating that so many issues can cause this. Someone on this forum brought up a good point, you notice when you are first experiencing T, or anything for that matter, you tend to get real anxious because of the unknown, and peoples posts start to dwindle, because they learn to live with it.

 

[JMAN]

New here but have been reading posts. Developed T out of the blue about 4 weeks now. First couple of weeks I tried to stay positive and think it was temporary. Week 3 I was full-on anxiety panic mode. Been to see my primary who looked in my ears ask me some questions and said I had to learn to live with it because it was due to hearing loss. Didn't suggest any follow-ups with specialists.

I made myself an appt. at Mass Eye and Ear the through a misunderstanding it was only for a hearing test. I'm seeing an otolaryngologist there this Wednesday, he also specializes in Neurotology.
In the meantime my Dr. gave me Citalopram which involves onboarding and takes weeks to work on the anxiety so I've got Ativan as a stop-gap.

The horrible high-pitched shrieking in my head is driving me insane! I was hoping after 4 weeks I'd be better at not fighting it, but alas no!

Medical appointments are so hard to get and you have to wait so long! I'm still hoping maybe there will be a medical reason that can be fixed because I'm terrified I'm going to have to live like this for the rest of my life.

I understand eventually people do habituate but this has been the worst four weeks of my life, and I've been through some pretty scary life threatening things. But this is torture non-stop!

 

[JMAN]

Just to be brief. I developed Tinnitus last July. High frequency hearing loss due to noise. I went biserk wanting to immediately kill myself. Saw 4 ENT Doctors who knew nothing. I literally didn't sleep for 10 days losing 8 pounds. I was skeletal. I had no wax issue. Got two shots of cortisone through the middle ear and through the ear drum. Didn't work. Sleeping pills didn't work. I finally found a physician Dr. Seidman. One of the leading authorities if not the leading authority in the world on tinnitus. There is no cure unfortunately. He's also the leading researcher as well as a federally funded scientist. Any trial going on in any part of the world goes across his desk. My issue was chronic. 50 million people in the US have it 2% bring chronic. 600 million people throughout the world have it. There is a huge awareness problem with this condition. He explained to be this is a brain issue now. How do we get the brain to simmer down, it's not by sleeping pills . I needed something for anxiety which is why those pills never worked. He had great success with good ole xanex. I take 1 milligram 3 times a day and it completely changed my life. It calmed my anxiety which lowered my noise. I also wear a Tinnitus therapy hearing aid. The audiologist programs the musical score into it of the frequency that I lost trying to fool the brain. Understand we have an average of 15,000 hair cells located behind the ear drum that no one can see. For those that got T through noise, those hair cells will fall out and not grow back or bend permanently. Your hair cells vibrating at a tremendous pace is what the brain interprets as a problem. We then hear this problem as a noise that really doesn't exist. Funny how it works. The xanex completely makes me at ease and sleep through the night. I have habituated in a huge way. I do take my ear plugs with me wherever I go just in case, including ear muffs. I empathize with everyone.

 

[MikeL1972]

Hi SallyT,

Just wanted to add my thoughts here...

You will be fine! The initial onset is the worst because your mind and nervous system go through a fight or flight syndrome. For me, it took a good, solid 6 months before my mind got so sick of the noise that it started ignoring it and as I type these words of encouragement on your behalf, my left ear is ringing but I could care less. The goal is habituation. You can get there too. It is not easy because you are dealing with an intruder, but it will pass. Most people habituate! You can also. Good luck!

 

[SallyT]

Thank you. Been having a few "good days" but more "not so good days." I am trying not to call them bad days...trying to be positive and really enjoy the few good days where things are quiet enough I can deal with it.

Of course- I developed this random pain in my side yesterday- and am trying not to castastrophize it in my mind. Hoping it's just stress or a pulled muscle- though I don't know how I could have done it because it just appeared out of nowhere. But in the current mental state the immediate reaction is "oh my god, what now, what's going wrong now?!" And thinking all kinds of horrible thoughts- obstruction, kidney problem, blah, blah, blah.

It's crazy.

 

[MikeL1972]

Of course- I developed this random pain in my side yesterday- and am trying not to castastrophize it in my mind. Hoping it's just stress or a pulled muscle- though I don't know how I could have done it because it just appeared out of nowhere. But in the current mental state the immediate reaction is "oh my god, what now, what's going wrong now?!" And thinking all kinds of horrible thoughts- obstruction, kidney problem, blah, blah, blah.

I would take a hot shower and lay low (meaning no exercise) and see if it goes away on its on. Depending on the degree of pain you are having, you may want to see a doctor sooner rather than later if the pain does not go away say within 3-5 days.

 

[Phil-O]

Thank you. Been having a few "good days" but more "not so good days." I am trying not to call them bad days...trying to be positive and really enjoy the few good days where things are quiet enough I can deal with it.

Of course- I developed this random pain in my side yesterday- and am trying not to castastrophize it in my mind. Hoping it's just stress or a pulled muscle- though I don't know how I could have done it because it just appeared out of nowhere. But in the current mental state the immediate reaction is "oh my god, what now, what's going wrong now?!" And thinking all kinds of horrible thoughts- obstruction, kidney problem, blah, blah, blah.

It's crazy.

It is crazy but keep reading the positive stories on here, Billie48. Michael Leigh and Terrys aka @I who love music "Back to Silence" method. It's one of the proactive way to help get through this. I'm 2 years on and managing much better than at onset. Best wishes Phil

 

[Ambassador]

The xanex completely makes me at ease and sleep through the night. I have habituated in a huge way. I do take my ear plugs with me wherever I go just in case, including ear muffs. I empathize with everyone.

Are you still using Xanax as needed? I also found great relief with .25 mg Xanax but worry about rebound anxiety and tolerance. I have both Xanax and Klonopin on hand but have sworn off using them. I am tempted though. I am making good progress toward habituation and don't want to mess it up.

 

[SallyT]

I would take a hot shower and lay low (meaning no exercise) and see if it goes away on its on. Depending on the degree of pain you are having, you may want to see a doctor sooner rather than later if the pain does not go away say within 3-5 days.

pain is gone. either a pulled muscle or stress response.