Hi everyone.
After a respiratory illness in December I have acquired tinnitus (or "T," like the cool kids say) in my left ear, which has always been a little sensitive to noise and rang a few times before the illness.
In the morning it is frequently a low hum; by the evening it has raised to a continuous tone (like a sine save, but somewhere around "E" below middle "C" on the piano) that buzzes my entire head brain, accompanied by what sounds like a loud idling diesel engine.
I saw an urgent care doctor earlier in the week and plan to see an ENT next month after I get insurance, but I'm the kind of person that doesn't want false hope--I know that most specialists still don't understand the condition, don't have any failsafe treatments, and can't tell me anything for sure. I know that my treatment will be mostly in my own hands moving forward... that's why I'm here. It's important not to feel alone for a condition that very few people seem to understand.
So yeah. Hi.
Five years ago I spontaneously developed a series of very visible floaters in both eyes. I can see them even at night. This reminds me of that--a sensory mask that in some contexts you can ignore, but in most (bright white screens, or silence) are impossible not to see, to hear. Those floaters nearly drove me to despair, too. And they still annoy me. But not to the point of fatigue or anxiety. My goal is to deal with this in the same way.
Always looking backward (to clear sight, to silence) can lead to madness. I'm probably lucky--the noise of a central air or heating system, as well as the sound of a car's engine, can mask the tone for me temporarily. But once ambient noise drops away, T carries on its single-minded symphony in my brain.
I am amazed and humbled by those of you who have lived with this condition for years or even decades.
We're not alone.
After a respiratory illness in December I have acquired tinnitus (or "T," like the cool kids say) in my left ear, which has always been a little sensitive to noise and rang a few times before the illness.
In the morning it is frequently a low hum; by the evening it has raised to a continuous tone (like a sine save, but somewhere around "E" below middle "C" on the piano) that buzzes my entire head brain, accompanied by what sounds like a loud idling diesel engine.
I saw an urgent care doctor earlier in the week and plan to see an ENT next month after I get insurance, but I'm the kind of person that doesn't want false hope--I know that most specialists still don't understand the condition, don't have any failsafe treatments, and can't tell me anything for sure. I know that my treatment will be mostly in my own hands moving forward... that's why I'm here. It's important not to feel alone for a condition that very few people seem to understand.
So yeah. Hi.
Five years ago I spontaneously developed a series of very visible floaters in both eyes. I can see them even at night. This reminds me of that--a sensory mask that in some contexts you can ignore, but in most (bright white screens, or silence) are impossible not to see, to hear. Those floaters nearly drove me to despair, too. And they still annoy me. But not to the point of fatigue or anxiety. My goal is to deal with this in the same way.
Always looking backward (to clear sight, to silence) can lead to madness. I'm probably lucky--the noise of a central air or heating system, as well as the sound of a car's engine, can mask the tone for me temporarily. But once ambient noise drops away, T carries on its single-minded symphony in my brain.
I am amazed and humbled by those of you who have lived with this condition for years or even decades.
We're not alone.
