'The Noise Got Too Loud, Sorry' — Christopher Neile, 57, Killed Himself Waiting to Go to Dignitas

[Amiel]

'The noise got too loud, sorry': Tinnitus sufferer, 57, left a heartbreaking note to his sister before killing himself while waiting to go to Dignitas because his condition had 'taken over his life'

• Christopher Neile planned to end his life at assisted suicide clinic in Switzerland
• He suffered with tinnitus, a condition which left constant ringing in his ears
• Inquest heard he couldn't wait and ended his life with a tragic note reading: 'The noise got too loud - sorry'

Sad so sad!

Published in DailyMail on October 3
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4945372/Tinnitus-sufferer-killed-waiting-Dignitas.html

 

[TheDanishGirl]

Really did NOT need to read this today

 

[Raphael7713]

This shouldn't be on support forums.

And you can also read that he didn't take the divorce to well with his wife. According to a Swedish study, people who off themselves with tinnitus are most often people who already had enormous baggage in life already, even before tinnitus. So I think it's a bad combination of many things and not only the tinnitus that made him commit suicide.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

This shouldn't be on support forums.

And you can also read that he didn't take the divorce to well with his wife. According to a Swedish study, people who off themselves with tinnitus are most often people who already had enormous baggage in life already, even before tinnitus. So I think it's a bad combination of many things and not only the tinnitus that made him commit suicide.

I agree.

But that does not comfort me because I am that person with a lot of baggage before having tinnitus

 

[Raphael7713]

Really did NOT need to read this today

You shouldn't get affected by this. This only proves how humans are. When tinnitus sufferers read things like these it's common they panic. "Omg he killed himself, it means his condition was to much, then it means it's too much for me also". That's the number 1 big mistake every reader does. Every human is different and I'm guessing this victim already had too much baggage in his life.

I agree.

But that does not comfort me because I am that person with a lot of baggage before having tinnitus

Me too. The key here is to control your emotions. Instead of trying to fight your tinnitus, fight the stress and anxiety. People really need and must understand that tinnitus without stress and anxiety is not that devestating at all.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

Me too. The key here is to control your emotions. Instead of trying to fight your tinnitus, fight the stress and anxiety. People really need and must understand that tinnitus without stress and anxiety is not that devestating at all.

I know you are right. I am trying to relieve the stress and anxiety, but I must admit it is hard.

 

[Raphael7713]

I know you are right. I am trying to relieve the stress and anxiety, but I must admit it is hard.

Not long ago a boy killed himself because he couldn't take a good selfie of himself. People are different and just because one man it should not affect anyone.

And I feel like a scum saying this, but one positive thing about this incident may be that tinnitus research might take a boost from this.

 

[Vinnitus]

This shouldn't be on support forums.

And you can also read that he didn't take the divorce to well with his wife. According to a Swedish study, people who off themselves with tinnitus are most often people who already had enormous baggage in life already, even before tinnitus. So I think it's a bad combination of many things and not only the tinnitus that made him commit suicide.

I disagree. Tinnitus alone can be all that's needed for a person to consider this act (heck, people even commit suicide for lesser reasons than Tinnitus). I know it turned me around when I acquired it. The rest of my life was totally fine before having this condition. I turned from a happy person into a train wreck solely because of Tinnitus.

Especially this guy mentioning "the noise" as the reason in his note must be of some indication.

In my opinion this once again underlines the importance of further research into this condition. It is not always about having "multiple issues in life" (with that reasoning theres always something you can point your finger at), as is too often brought up with this type of news. Everyone has issues in life. Everyone has stress in life. Even everyone has hearing loss in life these days. Yet, not everyone gets Tinnitus. So what is really going on here?

What we need is a true solution. Relieving stress (if even possible at all) and anxiety does not resolve the Tinnitus in all cases, it just makes you care a little less. That is nice and such, but not a real solution.

I wish the people close to this man much strength with this incredible loss.

 

[Raphael7713]

I disagree. Tinnitus alone can be all that's needed for a person to consider this act (heck, people even commit suicide for lesser reasons than Tinnitus). I know it turned me around when I acquired it. The rest of my life was totally fine before having this condition. I turned from a happy person into a train wreck solely because of Tinnitus.

Especially this guy mentioning "the noise" as the reason in his note must be of some indication.

In my opinion this once again underlines the importance of further research into this condition. It is not always about having "multiple issues in life" (with that reasoning theres always something you can point your finger at), as is too often brought up with this type of news. Everyone has issues in life. Everyone has stress in life. Even everyone has hearing loss in life these days. Yet, not everyone gets Tinnitus. So what is really going on here?

What we need is a true solution. Relieving stress (if even possible at all) and anxiety does not resolve the Tinnitus in all cases, it just makes you care a little less. That is nice and such, but not a real solution.

I wish the people close to this man much strength with this incredible loss.

But since there isn't any "real" solution we can't do much more than try to stress less and get rid of our anxiety. If a real solution presents itself I would be the first one to go for it, but we can't only rely on it to appear. Until it's here, if it even gets to that point, we need to find our own ways to deal with it. And the most important thing is to do these basic stuff as stressing less and fighting the anxiety and try enjoying life.

 

[Michael Leigh]

This shouldn't be on support forums.

Sad so sad!

I see nothing wrong with @Amiel posting this link. It is very sad for this unfortunate gentleman. Let it be a reminder to those that casually dismiss tinnitus as nothing or is a minor irritant because it is not necessarily the case. I am referring to anyone that has "noise induced" tinnitus caused by headphone use or attended clubs, concerts where loud music was played. Be careful because tinnitus can be ruthless and has no mercy when it becomes severe.

Michael

 

[Vinnitus]

But since there isn't any "real" solution we can't do much more than try to stress less and get rid of our anxiety. If a real solution presents itself I would be the first one to go for it, but we can't only rely on it to appear. Until it's here, if it even gets to that point, we need to find our own ways to deal with it. And the most important thing is to do these basic stuff as stressing less and fighting the anxiety and try enjoying life.

With this point I agree. Actually that should be common sense and a recommendation to both people with and without Tinnitus. A completely stressless life is however impossible (we actually need stress), but one can try to keep it within healthy sensible ranges.

 

[Bobby B]

The guy already suffered from depression before tinnitus.

This isn't just about tinnitus.

He could have killed himself because he lost his job, wife or whatever.

Some people just like to kill themselves.

One guy in my ex company killed himself because he lost his job - and he had no tinnitus...

 

[Kelvin]

That's sad and I feel for him having been backed into a corner by the evil Mr T...truth is though that people die every second of the day and some of them in horrible circumstances. We all have choices and despite having T we all have the gift of life. Let's just keep supporting each other the best we can and pray for quiet or quieter days. RIP X

 

[Tinker Bell]

Unless forum members personally know the individual, I am unclear how posts like this contribute to supporting members who may be struggling with suicidal thoughts. We all are already quite aware of how severe tinnitus can be and the depths of depression and anxiety it can cause.

How is this is helpful for new forum members first struggling with this condition? What support and encouragement does this offer longtime members? It's like posting obituaries on a support forum for cancer.

Editing to add: This is sad and the individual's story and death being reported is tragic. It needs to be told to the general public. But pointing it out to us is a bit like preaching to the choir.

 

[Lex]

I usually do not agree with what @Amiel posts but for this one, I don't see the problem with it being shared here.

Pretending people don't kill themselves over chronic pain (yes, bad T falls under that) won't change the fact that it happens. The failure stories should have as much attention as success stories; otherwise, the people who can do something for us -- research and medical community -- will think we don't need help.

You can say that he had depression that was why he killed himself. Of course he was depressed. Chronic pain changes the brain's neural activity, leading to depression. Read the study here: http://www.chialvo.net/Press/Galleyproof.pdf

 

[Bill Bauer]

This shouldn't be on support forums.

A story of how a sufferer was finally able to stop the suffering shouldn't be on support forums? Wait... what?

The way I see it, the real story here is not that he had committed suicide, but that Dignitas made him wait (and suffer). This information is useful for someone considering contacting Dignitas.

 

[Bobbie7]

I think it is profoundly sad this man chose to end his own life but as the article pointed out, he was already distraught over having lost his wife. Of course as we all are aware, severe stress and anxiety greatly exacerbates tinnitus - about this there is no dispute - and we would never know if .... had he been reunited with his wife .... he would have chosen the same route. Somehow I doubt it. His diminishing tolerance threshold for stress coupled with his already severe tinnitus was the hand which shoved him off the cliff so to speak. Perhaps he had not the support system we all are fortunate to have in this forum. Perhaps if he was actively involved in a one --- a multitude of people who understand and he had be given various coping mechanisms, this ultimate action might not have been taken.

There are those who quickly jump to the conclusion that tinnitus was the foremost reason for this person to his life but, in truth, we are not privy to this man's psyche and life so we don't really know. If there was any measuring device to compare his tinnitus with those members who suffer the most severe forms in this forum, then perhaps it would be no greater. We all know some of our members have severe forms of unrelenting tinnitus and had dark thoughts too at one time but had chosen to seek ways of dealing with it and now, thankfully and fortunately, lead productive and happy lives.

Of course I do not in any way intend to diminish the severity of tinnitus and its torment; I am cognizant there are different types and degrees of intrusion but let's not focus too heavily on a person's individual choice/action. There are individuals who commit suicide for a multitude of reasons; gambling debts, various addictions, bullying, grief, loss of health, mental illness - the list goes on and on. It is understandable that new tinnitus sufferers, faced with this unwanted interloper who have not yet learned coping mechanisms may have dark thoughts but I believe most do not choose to end their lives when they have tinnitus. This article, illustrating this pathetically sad person, illustrates his misery but should in no way frighten others. People throughout the ages have horrendous situations and deformities and yet they choose life.

Wishing all who read this a peaceful day.

Sincerely,
Barbara

 

[Rubenslash]

Amiel = Amber = gotyoubynuts

 

[Bill Bauer]

There are those who quickly jump to the conclusion that tinnitus was the foremost reason for this person to his life but, in truth, we are not privy to this man's psyche and life so we don't really know.

->

'The noise got too loud, sorry': Tinnitus sufferer, 57, left a heartbreaking note to his sister

 

[Bill Bauer]

Amiel = Amber = gotyoubynuts

I don't get it.

 

[Bobbie7]

@Bill Bauer - A mere note does not tell all. In any person's life, there is no singular event which is occurring - we all lead complicated lives. He had other stressors.

If anyone wants to examine a true testament of "the will to survive" I suggest you see any one of the episodes featured on the TV program THE BODY BIZARRE. I have seem many of these shows and it is not for the faint of heart.
There is no comparison, in any way, with people suffering tinnitus but who can compare one malady with another?

These situations, however, with which people deal are - to say the least - extremely challenging and yet they desperately want to survive and live:

https://www.discoverylife.com/tv-shows/body-bizarre/

 

[Michael Leigh]

Tinnitus comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. When it is mild or moderate most people are able to habituate to it and carry on with their lives doing everything that they want to without it causing too much of a problem. However, when it is severe and this level is sustained, it can be very debilitating and make a person do something to themselves that they wouldn't normally contemplate if they weren't in such a distressed state and this is a fact. Unless a person has endured severe tinnitus they cannot fully understand how debilitating it can be.

I hoped not to be posting about suicide and tinnitus on this thread, but think certain things need to be addressed to make some people understand what this condition is capable of making a person do. I have counselled people with tinnitus and still do occasionally. One person I was counselling a few years back was so distressed by his tinnitus, he couldn't sit still for longer than 15 minutes. His tinnitus had unfortunately got worse after having dental work and according to him, was seen by a number of top ENT doctors who couldn't do anything to make the tinnitus reduce in severity.

He was on medication most of the time just to get through the day and only had a little peace when he somehow managed to get some sleep at night. I spoke to his wife who was so sympathetic and understanding. He used to telephone me up to 4 times a week just for someone to talk to about the distress he was in and in his words understood what he was going through. Unfortunately his distress was starting to affect me and I reached a point when I would dread the telephone ringing, because he would go into detail how he was going to cause his own demise by using a robe because he couldn't take the torment anymore. I didn't have the heart to cut off contact with him but for some reason he stopped calling so I will never know what happened, and to be honest I'd rather not know.

Please click on the following link to read a story of a musician that had severe tinnitus for 3 months and couldn't cope anymore. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...oes-tinnitus-drove-stabbed-death-despair.html

Michael

 

[Santiago Biagi]

This shouldn't be here. What's the support aspect of this?

Of course there are severe cases, but most people in this forum that have a mild/moderate tinnitus will panic on seeing this.

Tinnitus can be managed, depression can be treated.

Rest In Peace Chris.

 

[GregCA]

There are those who quickly jump to the conclusion that tinnitus was the foremost reason for this person to his life but, in truth, we are not privy to this man's psyche and life so we don't really know.

He left a note that was unequivocal.

 

[Bobbie7]

Hi @Michael Leigh -

My heart goes out to anyone who is suffering, especially this person of whom you speak. It was very good of you to lend yourself and counsel him as you did even though it was distressing for you. Let's hope he went on to be occupied by something constructive in his life and benefitted from your wise counsel. As I said before, I know you are a well-intentioned person and I respect and admire you for all the help and wise advice you have given members of this forum.

I hope somehow all members here will find ways to cope with their tinnitus.

Best wishes,
Barbara

 

[Rubenslash]

I don't get it.

All three are troll accounts managed by the same person.

 

[Bobbie7]

He left a note that was unequivocal.

As I said before, we are all complex individuals and have many aspects of our life. While he mentioned some specific reason, surely he had other factoring issues as well which contributed.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Hi @Michael Leigh -

Thank you Barbara for your very kind words. I have to admit the gentleman in question was the most difficult person that I have ever counselled with tinnitus. He and his wife who was a police officer were such nice people. What really got to me was having to listen to him crying on the phone because of the torment he was in.

All the best
Michael

 

[Michael Leigh]

This shouldn't be here. What's the support aspect of this?

The fact that you have to ask such a question, is an indication that you have no idea what severe sustained tinnitus can do to a person. It is all about understanding!

 

[GregCA]

As I said before, we are all complex individuals and have many aspects of our life. While he mentioned some specific reason, surely he had other factoring issues as well which contributed.

What do you need to see to agree that T is the major contributor in a suicide case? Evidently an explicit note is not enough.
I don't mean this to offend you, but you give me the impression that you are uncomfortable looking at this objectively. He surely had other factors contributing, but so does the rest of the world that doesn't commit suicide, right?