FounderI'm locking this thread. I feel the personal attacks are totally uncalled for and I'm saddened to see the community cannot seem to come together to honor Mr. Neile's life. This story should give all of us a boost to raise more awareness of tinnitus, it should join us, not divide.
It's always been a hot potato whether these topics should be here on the forums at all, and if so, in what section. I do concur with some comments here, the Support section isn't the best fit for this content. We have to give it some thinking if we should create a completely new section for items like this.
Personally I believe these stories need to be told - one of our major goals is to raise awareness of tinnitus and this is a part of it.
More so, honoring people's like Mr. Neile's memory is important. We lost a fellow sufferer to this awful, insidious condition. Should we just tuck it away? This didn't happen? Close our eyes to it? I sincerely do not believe so.
What never ceases to surprise me is how strongly some feel - almost as if it were a proven fact - that tinnitus alone cannot be the driving factor for someone to commit self-harm. I think this thinking is as much harmful for awareness purposes as it's offensive to and dismissive of those who have felt there's no other path to take. Just like there's a variety of levels of chronic pain - manageable and less so, there's a variety of levels and types of tinnitus. While these acts of self-harm may - or may not - sometimes be a product of multiple issues in life, not just tinnitus, even then it doesn't take away from the fact that tinnitus can be the last straw - at least I see it this way.
Having personally experienced mild and loud tinnitus, the difference is stark.
For this reason, continued research into better understanding of tinnitus and treatments is of utmost importance. Similarly important is advocating doctors and laymen alike that tinnitus can be much more devastating than what the textbooks indicate. One size does not fit all, there needs to be better protocols in place for those desperately seeking an out like Mr. Neile. Instead of stating that there's nothing that can be done in a monotonous tone and with no apparent care, what if a doctor grabbed your shoulder, looked you in the eye, and said: "I know this may not be easy, this can take some time, but I and we will be here for you and look for all the options available. You will not be left alone."
We should appreciate and honor the life of Mr. Neile, he seemed to struggle enormously, and I'm sure he tried to cope as well and as long as he could.
If you are new to tinnitus or in a fragile state, I realize this news may be upsetting. Please try to put it into perspective; in the millions and millions of people worldwide who experience tinnitus, only a very tiny percentage end up being consumed by it in this way. Yes, this group of people needs to be highlighted as their lives could possibly have been saved either by the availability of better tinnitus reducing treatments or emotional care. The world needs to be made aware of the impact tinnitus can have. That said, you may feel consumed by it now, but rest assured that your fate has not been sealed just because how someone else saw a tragic ending. You are your own story. Countless people continue to live a fulfilling life with tinnitus. You may feel you are not improving, that you will never get used to it, but so many people with intrusive tinnitus have made it. Read our Success Stories section and allow yourself the tincture of time. Our Panic Guide may be a good starting point.
If you genuinely feel you cannot go on, please reach out to somebody. Below is a link to crisis lines.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
My deepest condolences to Mr. Neile's family and friends.
PS.
I'm fully aware some people will disagree with my thoughts, and that's okay. If you do happen to have constructive thoughts on how these types of topics should be handled in the future, please do not hesitate to start a conversation with me.
It's always been a hot potato whether these topics should be here on the forums at all, and if so, in what section. I do concur with some comments here, the Support section isn't the best fit for this content. We have to give it some thinking if we should create a completely new section for items like this.
Personally I believe these stories need to be told - one of our major goals is to raise awareness of tinnitus and this is a part of it.
More so, honoring people's like Mr. Neile's memory is important. We lost a fellow sufferer to this awful, insidious condition. Should we just tuck it away? This didn't happen? Close our eyes to it? I sincerely do not believe so.
What never ceases to surprise me is how strongly some feel - almost as if it were a proven fact - that tinnitus alone cannot be the driving factor for someone to commit self-harm. I think this thinking is as much harmful for awareness purposes as it's offensive to and dismissive of those who have felt there's no other path to take. Just like there's a variety of levels of chronic pain - manageable and less so, there's a variety of levels and types of tinnitus. While these acts of self-harm may - or may not - sometimes be a product of multiple issues in life, not just tinnitus, even then it doesn't take away from the fact that tinnitus can be the last straw - at least I see it this way.
Having personally experienced mild and loud tinnitus, the difference is stark.
For this reason, continued research into better understanding of tinnitus and treatments is of utmost importance. Similarly important is advocating doctors and laymen alike that tinnitus can be much more devastating than what the textbooks indicate. One size does not fit all, there needs to be better protocols in place for those desperately seeking an out like Mr. Neile. Instead of stating that there's nothing that can be done in a monotonous tone and with no apparent care, what if a doctor grabbed your shoulder, looked you in the eye, and said: "I know this may not be easy, this can take some time, but I and we will be here for you and look for all the options available. You will not be left alone."
We should appreciate and honor the life of Mr. Neile, he seemed to struggle enormously, and I'm sure he tried to cope as well and as long as he could.
If you are new to tinnitus or in a fragile state, I realize this news may be upsetting. Please try to put it into perspective; in the millions and millions of people worldwide who experience tinnitus, only a very tiny percentage end up being consumed by it in this way. Yes, this group of people needs to be highlighted as their lives could possibly have been saved either by the availability of better tinnitus reducing treatments or emotional care. The world needs to be made aware of the impact tinnitus can have. That said, you may feel consumed by it now, but rest assured that your fate has not been sealed just because how someone else saw a tragic ending. You are your own story. Countless people continue to live a fulfilling life with tinnitus. You may feel you are not improving, that you will never get used to it, but so many people with intrusive tinnitus have made it. Read our Success Stories section and allow yourself the tincture of time. Our Panic Guide may be a good starting point.
If you genuinely feel you cannot go on, please reach out to somebody. Below is a link to crisis lines.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
My deepest condolences to Mr. Neile's family and friends.
PS.
I'm fully aware some people will disagree with my thoughts, and that's okay. If you do happen to have constructive thoughts on how these types of topics should be handled in the future, please do not hesitate to start a conversation with me.
