Hello dear friends,
I wanted to post something that I feel is very important to the individuals path of "habituation". I believe our experiences with tinnitus are unique. Everyone experiences more or less similar symptoms; however, the onset, duration, volume, and sound varies. I am a mental health therapist at a community mental health clinic and came across a correlation between grief and recovery and tinnitus. For many of us, the first few months/years of our experience with tinnitus is filled with anxiety, sadness, loss, hopelessness, fear, and anger. We go about our days endlessly searching for a cure and usually end up feeling more defeated and hopeless. Our sadness is not so much that we cannot find a cure, rather it is that we are slowly having to face the fact that we may have to accept this new sound as part of our reality. This my friends is grounded in the grieving process. We are grieving. The pattern of grief follows (the order varies greatly as does the strength of each experience)
Denial: "This can't be happening to me."
Acceptance: "I'm at peace with what happened."
The grieving process can take anywhere from 1-5 years depending on our internal and external coping skills. Some of us have a more difficult time accepting the change because change is HARD. Especially for those of us that experiencing anxiety at a much higher rate. Accepting change is more or less forcing us to feel the anxiety that accompanies change.
Instead of a series of stages, we might also think of the grieving process as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer. The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, but it takes time to work through a loss (for us this means loss of hearing/silence/calmness).
I often work with my clients to redefine ideas/beliefs/words that we grew up with. For many of us this accompanies our own definition/perception of silence and happiness. Happiness is a subjective experience and we have to teach ourselves to be flexible with the definition of happiness. Rigid thinking keeps us stuck in our sadness/anxiety/anger.
My friends, we are grieving. We are relentlessly trying to find an answer to something that does not appear to have a concrete solution. Like most things in life, we must try to find our own answer. This path is DIFFERENT for everyone. When we feel our anxiety creep up...let's try to remember to be calm with ourselves. We are trying to find our ground in this new place. Our steps our wobbly and our perception is very different than what we expected it to be. Let's look at this as a teaching moment NOT a setback. Let's look at this as a way to practice conscious living and breathing. Think about it...how often in your day before you had tinnitus did you pay attention to your breath? It seems that since the ringing started I have been VERY aware of the sounds/my anxiety/my stress. To counterbalance the stress I have had to change a lot in my life. I have had to SLOW DOWN and take one thing at a time. Before tinnitus I was moving at hyper speed and not consciously living.
I want you all to know that I am in now way "habituated". I am still grieving and trying to find my home in this new place. Everyday is different. Some days I find myself saying "I got this" and other days I find myself a sobbing mess. Let's try to change our way of thinking an instead of looking at the loud days/spikes/changes as setbacks...let's use the term "learning opportunity".
We are strong and resilient human beings. This is hard at times, especially the unknown! Slow Down and Breathe. If it is loud and you have to change your plans...that is OKAY! If it is loud and you don't get to have as much fun as you hoped...that is OKAY! Each day is one step closer to acceptance.
So today I say to breath and watch those catastrophic thoughts. Let's learn how to manage that damn anxiety!!!!
I wanted to post something that I feel is very important to the individuals path of "habituation". I believe our experiences with tinnitus are unique. Everyone experiences more or less similar symptoms; however, the onset, duration, volume, and sound varies. I am a mental health therapist at a community mental health clinic and came across a correlation between grief and recovery and tinnitus. For many of us, the first few months/years of our experience with tinnitus is filled with anxiety, sadness, loss, hopelessness, fear, and anger. We go about our days endlessly searching for a cure and usually end up feeling more defeated and hopeless. Our sadness is not so much that we cannot find a cure, rather it is that we are slowly having to face the fact that we may have to accept this new sound as part of our reality. This my friends is grounded in the grieving process. We are grieving. The pattern of grief follows (the order varies greatly as does the strength of each experience)
Denial: "This can't be happening to me."
- Anger: "Why is this happening? Who is to blame?"
- Bargaining: "Make this not happen, and in return I will ____."
- Depression: "I'm too sad to do anything."
Acceptance: "I'm at peace with what happened."
The grieving process can take anywhere from 1-5 years depending on our internal and external coping skills. Some of us have a more difficult time accepting the change because change is HARD. Especially for those of us that experiencing anxiety at a much higher rate. Accepting change is more or less forcing us to feel the anxiety that accompanies change.
Instead of a series of stages, we might also think of the grieving process as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer. The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, but it takes time to work through a loss (for us this means loss of hearing/silence/calmness).
I often work with my clients to redefine ideas/beliefs/words that we grew up with. For many of us this accompanies our own definition/perception of silence and happiness. Happiness is a subjective experience and we have to teach ourselves to be flexible with the definition of happiness. Rigid thinking keeps us stuck in our sadness/anxiety/anger.
My friends, we are grieving. We are relentlessly trying to find an answer to something that does not appear to have a concrete solution. Like most things in life, we must try to find our own answer. This path is DIFFERENT for everyone. When we feel our anxiety creep up...let's try to remember to be calm with ourselves. We are trying to find our ground in this new place. Our steps our wobbly and our perception is very different than what we expected it to be. Let's look at this as a teaching moment NOT a setback. Let's look at this as a way to practice conscious living and breathing. Think about it...how often in your day before you had tinnitus did you pay attention to your breath? It seems that since the ringing started I have been VERY aware of the sounds/my anxiety/my stress. To counterbalance the stress I have had to change a lot in my life. I have had to SLOW DOWN and take one thing at a time. Before tinnitus I was moving at hyper speed and not consciously living.
I want you all to know that I am in now way "habituated". I am still grieving and trying to find my home in this new place. Everyday is different. Some days I find myself saying "I got this" and other days I find myself a sobbing mess. Let's try to change our way of thinking an instead of looking at the loud days/spikes/changes as setbacks...let's use the term "learning opportunity".
We are strong and resilient human beings. This is hard at times, especially the unknown! Slow Down and Breathe. If it is loud and you have to change your plans...that is OKAY! If it is loud and you don't get to have as much fun as you hoped...that is OKAY! Each day is one step closer to acceptance.
So today I say to breath and watch those catastrophic thoughts. Let's learn how to manage that damn anxiety!!!!
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