The Positives of Tinnitus

[bill 112]

Well if im honest this condition has taught me so much way too much to mention here but here it goes,1)Never to take each day for granted and to truly enjoy the little things in life which before T I was quilty of doing. 2)It has improved me and my mothers relationship like I never thought possible we were always close but after this and everything she has done for me I will never be able to repay her. 3)It has thought me to take no BS from people and stick up for myself and what I believe in as before T I was a bit of a pushover too afraid to speak my opinion for fear of a confrontation. 4)To truly appreciate my family and everything they do for me my grandmother lives less than two minutes from me but yet I hadnt visited her in nearly a year,I now see her every day and tell her I love her every time I see her. 5)To do as many nice things for people as I can who need help,when the recession hit Ireland there was a man living in his car near where I work,he lost his job,his wife left him and he lost his house and he was completely penniless.So one day when leaving work I got a 100euro and bought two bags of food and supplies and delivered them to him at his car.He didnt know me and I didnt know him and he looked at me mystified as to why was I doing this for him,I simply told him we all need a little help once and a while and this is yours,a fully grown man collapsed in my arms and cried with relief and happiness as he didnt know if he would eat that day or not and ever since then I was hooked on helping people in need, 6)To enjoy the beautiful country side around me that I never truly appreciated until T arrived. 7)To never give up hope no matter what situation you find yourself in even a condition like this to never give up on the amazing research thats going on and of course a cure arising from it,as Erlend said it literally would be like being born again for me,I dream of it everyday and who knows maybe dreams do come through. 8)That I should have appreciated the love of my life while I still had her.I broke it off with her when this all started and never told her why,the reason being that I probably wouldnt be able to clubbing or go to concerts like every teenage girl does and that I would be holding her back from enjoying life,I miss her everyday. 9)To never ever snigger or laugh at other peoples disabilities many of my friends crack jokes about people in wheelchairs and such and just dont find it one bit amusing,I try to sympathise with them and not make them feel like theyre any different,a lot of people in wheelchairs visit where I work and they always apologise if they are blocking customers and I simply tell them they have nothing to be sorry for and that they are no different from anyone else to try to treat them as a normal human being to which they deserve. 10)It has made me a stronger person than I ever thought possible,it thought me to be a man.

 

[Tenna]

@bill 112
First of all, Wauw...
In no way would we mind not having t, however seizing t a chance to change into what you have become, makes me feel as if t should be distributed to many as a gift.
Maybe you could take out your grandmother in the beautiful countryside - I just came home from familyvisit in Belfast, Ireland is so insanely beautiful! And it taught me that I can travel with t

 

[bill 112]

@bill 112
First of all, Wauw...
In no way would we mind not having t, however seizing t a chance to change into what you have become, makes me feel as if t should be distributed to many as a gift.
Maybe you could take out your grandmother in the beautiful countryside - I just came home from familyvisit in Belfast, Ireland is so insanely beautiful! And it taught me that I can travel with t

Your right Tenna and I do take my grandmother for long walks now.Where I live I am surrounded by beautiful countryside and mountain ranges and theres nothing she loves more than walking in the countryside,she would walk all day if we would let her,not bad for an 81 year old I cant even keep up with her sometimes!!I always had the attitude that T was a gift to teach me to appreciate things in life but that has since changed what it has taught me doesnt out weigh what it has taken from me.Glad you liked it here Tenna and if you like scenery trying visiting the Wicklow Mountains next time your here you wont be disappointed.Best Wishes Bill.

 

[Giovanni]

T has taught me a lesson in life. I have to learn patience and be willing to flow, adjust and adapt instead of fighting or resisting things I cannot control. T forced me to learn new life's skills to cope with challenges in life. I learned how cognitive distortions (in CBT) can wreck havoc in a person's emotional life. I learn to think more positively and realistically.

I have become a better husband & father, a better family man. During my initial struggle with tinnitus, suffering daily from repeated attacks from T, H, A & P, and the strong negative emotions associated with these, it dawned on me that besides ruining my life, tinnitus was beginning to ruin the great relationship I had with my family members. Imagining tinnitus being my most hated foe & bully, I made a conscious effort to fight back and not let the bully tinnitus ruin my family too. I told myself if I have to live like 'hell' with tinnitus, I want to make sure my family would live like 'heaven' in return. I told myself I had to soldier on with this tremendous suffering, Heaven or Hell, for my family and love ones who have to depend on me. I told myself I would treat my body as if it were 'dead' to bodily sensations and sufferings (ignoring the pain, the fear, the depression and what have u), but that this 'dead' body will 'compost' itself to benefit my family and children, much like a parent plant who has to compost itself to provide the nourishments to the seedling plants generating around the composted parent plant. It was a silly thought, but it helped me bear with the daily sufferings.

I made extra effort to be nice to everyone, particularly my spouse. I would massage my spouse daily while an ipod was masking my tinnitus. This was one of the many 'mini-breaks' I used to win my life back. The family sensed the difference and my effort. They returned in kind what I did to them. The result was affection and harmony in the family, a light in my life while being bombarded daily by tinnitus darkness.

Now with my life back to normal, I learn to appreciate my family a lot more and won't easily let any negatives to ruin the family harmony. Lately, my wife also develop T. Guess what, she finds in me a good enough coach and mentor to help her accept her ringing. At least she knows I survive. LOL. She learns to continue to enjoy her life (dancing and singing) despite the ringing. If my T & H experience can help shield her from much suffering, then my T & H experience of horror is well worth it.

Billie you really inspire me everytime I read a post from you. You are truly a blessing to this community. You make my view of life better because tinnitus shouldn't change the way I live.

 

[billie48]

Thank you for the kind words, Giovanni. And so are many members here who are collectively inspiring the newer members to persevere in spite of T and its sufferings. There are many caring folks here with inspiring posts and caring hearts. We all share our experience and voice our little optimism here and there to let them know that T is not an end game and that , with the right attitude, we can move on with life without being trapped by the T bully. They say 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. There is truth in it from these positive posts in this thread. In the same spirit, Romans 5:3-5 describes the possibility that sufferings can be a chance for character building, which is quite evident from most of the posts here so far.

 

[I who love music]

My T was my early warning sign to knock off the loud music. That forced me to go in another musical direction into the world of acoustic blues, celtic music, American minstrel music and traditional fiddle music. And because I did that, lots of people have learned from me and are spreading music around even further.

 

[Ohsee]

Hi T peeps!

I've been wanting to share my positive thoughts about T, as well as my entire story (for cleansing reasons) yet putting off writing on here for a long time, always waiting for the absolute end of my ear infection induced T before starting. I am hoping that some people who have just started hearing a T-like noise will see my story and calm down a bit!

I am pretty fastidious when it comes to hearing, audio and music. I am a guitarist, suffer from Barotrauma, played in a loud band and always wore plugs half in (except for the odd occasion / gig). I have also been working as a Music Supervisor for the past 3 years which means that I have had on-ear headphones (closed back) on not too loud for about 4 hours intermittently throughout the day. I have also got a history with ENT having had waxy ears since a kid as well as a thyroid cyst removal. Despite the above, I was absolutely fine until after a bad cold (which caused my ears to block) cleared away and left this pretty loud ringing mostly in my right ear, although a bit in the middle (head).

First thing I did is look online and alas, was greeted with all the worst horror stories about T! That really shook me up on first read. It's totally natural to want to get to the bottom of it and rationalise the issue and fix it. But hang on - most people who leave comments on threads and forums will be on there because maybe the problem has persisted right? That was the advice I was given after a few days and it really calmed me down. I guess you just don't always hear the story of Tom, Dick or Harry who had it for a couple of months and then it went away on it's own. There must be SO many people who it's happened to! I have since met a few people who have said this, so I prayed for the universe to fix me.

There was a period where I had this incessant ringing on two levels: one at about 3Khz and really badly at about 14Khz (really very high, higher than most ear test machines go and some peoples' hearing). I even had horrific Hyperacusis to the point that walking around London was the most aggravating thing ever. I cannot explain how disheartened I had become with my job, my music and pretty much my absolute livelihood. I really felt like I had put my eggs in one basket and someone stepped on the basket. I would be lying if I didn't say that I even considered not being around for much longer, so yeah pretty low for the first two months.

I kept being persistent and going back to my GP over and over until I bored them in to giving me a referral to see a specialist. In the UK, the NHS lists really were too long for me to wait ( I would have gone mad), so I went private and spend a small fortune to see an ENT specialist. Luckily, my doctor was a leading academic in tinnitus. It was absolutely amazing to speak to them and it was possibly the single most important step to emotional recovery. He advised a few things:
- Obviously do not over expose... So I bought open back headphones which allow some of the SPL (sound pressure level) to escape. I personally would recommend NO earphones, no iPhone earphones and only speakers as its natural.
- Thoroughly recommended Nasal Spray Euphorbium (holistic therapy) for blocked noses or if you are just about to get a cold. If you suffer from Barotrauma, then take a few sprays before flight as well as chewing gum to equalise pressure.

Anyway, turns out I had a post-viral infection in both ears which was to clear out over a few months time and get gradually better! I was so relieved I nearly cried. He determined this by doing a ear drum pressure test. He also did a 12 point hearing test (testing many frequencies, not like those free hearing tests which are only 3-4 points and show nothing). All this took 45 mins and cost £300!

Anyway, so I thought I would leave it for a month, totally cut coffee and smoking and be generally more healthy and see it out. I was so eager to get ahead of the NHS list that I ended up going back to my GP twice and complaining that I had to see the specialist again but this time - for free. So I huffed and puffed and really pushed to get a referral. Got another one for 45 days later and this time, the ENT doctor told me that it's really clearing up and should possibly fully go away! At this point the really loud ring had faded gradually but I was still sensing a high pitched sensation which was difficult to explain as it was NOT tonal T but more a high pitched sensation... The doctor said that it would be standard procedure for me to go and get an MRI to determine that I do/dont have an auditory nerve benign tumour (this is a standard scan for people with unilateral T in the UK) so waiting to get my results this Friday.

I still have a high pitched ringing in my ears 80% less than original T sound a few months back but I have nearly completely come to terms/acceptance with it (maybe because I think it will go soon ish, but I also think that my brain is really cancelling it out)

...To sumarise my findings:
- Finding out you have ringing is s**t. It's ok to be worried.
- Don't search the internet too much, if you do, remember that positive stories will hardly ever be written down! So what you are getting is a lop-sided view on the issues.
- See your GP and DEMAND you see a specialist. Don't just listen to their advice. Go back and get yourself seen by the best possible.
- Remember that although you feel like crap now, you are reading stories about how other people get over it. YOU ALSO can become like those people and totally OWN IT .
- Cut coffee and smoking one by one.
- If you are a music lover, then make sure you cut down dramatically your bad sound exposure (headphones, plugs at gigs etc)
- Try and buy some custom molded ear plugs - ACS do flat attenuation ones for max pleasure. (i am not their ambassador!)

T treatment: the leading academic doctor I saw said that apparently there is a way (a machine) of somehow finding out exactly which hair cells in your ear are the ones which need stimulating and can lower the noise level. He also did say that there is stem cell research currently under way which hopefully in years to come could help pave the way for proper treatment. Some animal testing has happened already and they saw improvements. This was said in chat of course so I cannot back it up with links at the moment.

My heart goes out to everyone who has it, has had it for a long time and who has maybe only just got it. Don't ever give up! Many people have other ailments, maybe there will be a cure one day!

Get back at me if you want a chat ever. Let me know if I can re-post anywhere or somewhere where new sufferers will see this message. I was wishing to stumble over a similar one when I was looking frantically months back...

Godspeed friends

xx

 

[billie48]

This positive thread has been buried in archive. I was just alerted to it as someone clicks a like. So perhaps my post here will bump this up so current members in the support forum who need something positive can read this and be helped in some way. I hope this thread can somehow be merged with the Postivitity Thread so the content is not lost. Keep posting if you wish this to continue.

 

[Drone Draper]

The only thing positive about tinnitus is I now have a rock solid excuse to not go to work nights out I don't want to.

I can't think of anything else.