The Story of Gaby Olthuis

[Mario martz]

This is a bad story to post on a support tinnitus forum, but also a great story to share in the outer world.
so people can understand the emotional damage tinnitus can cause.

 

[Fungus]

So, I'm ready to be shot down in flames......I think she wanted somebody, don't know who, but somebody, to say "Don't do it, stay here for me" or someone to say they could cure her. Neither came.

I also think that she was tormented, but a bit selfish. In the early days of my tinnitus I felt I could never cope with the consequences of tinnitus, but my family made me feel like the most selfish individual on this planet when I spoke of wanting an 'easy' way out. At the time I thought they were very unreasonable, but my view is very different now.

So brave....yes, but with reservations.(in my opinion). Should she have ever ended up where she was...No.(again, just my opinion).

Fungus

 

[LadyDi]

Then I'll go down in flames with you, @Fungus, because I somewhat agree.
That doesn't not mean her story is any less tragic and or that it shouldn't be a wake-up call to the rest of the world regarding how debilitating tinnitus can be for some. But it bothers me that some folks hold Gaby up as an example when very, very few people take their own lives specifically because of tinnitus -- although many have thought about it, including myself. Yet we carry on.

 

[Alue]

So, I'm ready to be shot down in flames......I think she wanted somebody, don't know who, but somebody, to say "Don't do it, stay here for me" or someone to say they could cure her. Neither came.

I also think that she was tormented, but a bit selfish. In the early days of my tinnitus I felt I could never cope with the consequences of tinnitus, but my family made me feel like the most selfish individual on this planet when I spoke of wanting an 'easy' way out. At the time I thought they were very unreasonable, but my view is very different now.

So brave....yes, but with reservations.(in my opinion). Should she have ever ended up where she was...No.(again, just my opinion).

Fungus

I agree, but what about people that are suffering that have no children, no dependents, no significant other to disappoint? How much suffering must someone endure to not cause pain to others?

 

[Sebastians]

She seems to have had a severe case of H, i can (luckily) only imagine what that must be like. It's just one of quite a few suicides due to this extreme condition (catastropic T + severe H). Don't be so quick to judge y'all, there's people with very mild T who can't even get their shit together over here...

 

[Fungus]

If you are alone and suffering with tinnitus and hyperacusis, nobody to help you along.....then the suffering could become too much and if no-one is there to miss you,who could blame you for wanting out? However Gaby had children,teenage children. I wonder if they 'understand' and how their lives will be irreparably affected? Maybe they would be happier with a sick mother than no mother at all? (Having two children, I can only begin to think how they would have viewed my 'escape').

Having watched the documentary and read around assisted suicide for tinnitus/hyperacusis I remain unconvinced. In terminal cancer and neurodegenerative diseases etc., I have no doubt.

Fungus.

 

[hartje5]

I'm afraid to watch the clip. But I'm wondering: did Gaby have hearing loss?

 

[dan]

I'm afraid to watch the clip. But I'm wondering: did Gaby have hearing loss?

Why are you afraid? The video has no graphic content

 

[hartje5]

Because when I went to my GP the first time with T. she said: Oh my god, how terrible for you, have you seen the documentary of Gaby Olthoorn? After 13 years she wanted euthanasia. I just sat there. My husband was completely stunned. My father committed suicide when I was 17 years old.

I am really really afraid of the story of Gaby because I battle with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts from T. every day. I think the unthinkable every single day. I have three children.

 

[GregCA]

I am really really afraid of the story of Gaby because I battle with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts from T. every day. I think the unthinkable every single day. I have three children.

Don't watch it. It's not going to tell you anything you don't know already.

 

[hartje5]

Ok I won't. But I'm really scared of her story it's always there in the back of my mind. I'm so scared I'll someday be like her. Horrible. But that is probably my depression talking.

 

[hartje5]

I've finally decided to watch it. What a sad, sad story. I think she really wanted someone to tell her to stay in this world. I think it's depression that killed her. I read that she battled anorexia, anxiety and depression before T. and H. set in.

My husband who has habituated to fluctuating sometime loud and pulsating T. told me that after he watched it his T. got really really bad. In his face, just like when it started for him more than 20 years ago. I think the mind and body are so intertwined and hope I can get a grip on my depression and anxiety and learn to live peacefully with T. I can only hope, pray and wait.

 

[Sam Bridge]

Because when I went to my GP the first time with T. she said: Oh my god, how terrible for you, have you seen the documentary of Gaby Olthoorn? After 13 years she wanted euthanasia. I just sat there. My husband was completely stunned. My father committed suicide when I was 17 years old.

I am really really afraid of the story of Gaby because I battle with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts from T. every day. I think the unthinkable every single day. I have three
children.

What a nasty thing for your GP to say. Arent they supposed to be supportive????

 

[hartje5]

@Sam Bridge If I ever get my life back on track I'm going to visit her together with my husband and tell her what I think of her 'expert view'. I'm so angry.

 

[Foncky]

I think it's depression that killed her.

I think T and H killed her.

Up for Gaby.

 

[Mentos]

I think T and H killed her.

Up for Gaby.

It's T that killed her, no doubt about it. I have mild T still I consider it disabling with huge concentration problems at work, rekationship with my wife, family, friends and peers suffers since I can't concentrate neither on conversation nor on daily tasks at home. I exist rather than live, everyday being a struggle and pain. With severe T I would have killed myself months ago I'm sure about it. I have huge respect to people with severe T who leave happy and productive lives but do remember there are personalities, introverts in particular like myself, for whom T is unbearable condition making their lives sad. Gabby simply saw no point in living sad life for another 30-40 years which I can fully understand.

 

[Foncky]

Thank you Mentos.

Don't blame your personality too much, it can very hard for anyone. This is not something normal, the human brain was not made to endure this constant stimulus.

Gaby had H and ear pain in top of severe T, I'm quite in the same boat unfortunately. She's one of the reasons I want to fight. She probably chose euthanasia to raise awareness.

 

[Mentos]

Thank you Mentos.

Don't blame your personality too much, it can very hard for anyone. This is not something normal, the human brain was not made to endure this constant stimulus.

Gaby had H and ear pain in top of severe T, I'm quite in the same boat unfortunately. She's one of the reasons I want to fight. She probably chose euthanasia to raise awareness.

Foncky you want to fight for what? You live hoping for a cure? I'm affraid that awareness is there, they know T is debilitating, simply condition is so complex to treat that scientist have no idea how to help us. I'm fed up with masking, radio, music and sounds. I simply have no power or motivation to stand up in the morning from bed knowing that another miserable day is in front of me. My wife has T too, more severe than mine. She says it's a minor discomfort for her. Fuck! Why can't I feel the same. I long for silence man, Gaby must have felt the same. I also have enough of this miserable life. She was brave enough to admit she does not want to suffer when there's no hope for her.

 

[Foncky]

I hope for a cure, but I don't live for it. I just try to live and to live happily, which is not exactly the case for now.

Awareness is not here. Of course there are dedicated researchers for us out there, but it's not enough.

This thing should be (at least partially) cured by now, as should be hearing loss. The pace depends on money, politics and how many powerful labs decide to work on it.

 

[Fungus]

Somehow I just don't see Gaby as such a hero(ine).
She had two teenage children....will they ever 'understand' what she chose to do? (Or rather chose for other people to do to her.... No suicidal ideation???).
Most of us don't want to suffer, but are we prepared to make others suffer because of what we do to ourselves or choose for others to do to us?
With 24/7 loud hissing tinnitus, daily pulsatile tinnitus, distorted hearing, variable ear pain etc. I have been about as low as I can go. There are those, I know, who suffer both physical and emotional symptoms far worse than me, but they hang on in and fight on for those around who care for them.
So, was she brave?.... to an extent, Yes
Was she a quitter?....also Yes.

This wretched tinnitus is certainly a life changer, it shouldn't be a life destroyer.

Fungus.

 

[Foncky]

We're not here to judge her as a quitter or anything else. She did what she had to, we don't know a lot about her suffering and the suffering of her family. Did you consider that sometimes, it's more difficult to see the one you love suffering than letting him go ?

 

[Fungus]

I'm not sure that she HAD to do what she did.

Fungus

 

[Foncky]

We don't have to judge that, there's no point.

 

[Fungus]

I'm not 'judging' Gaby Olthius....though it could be argued that every decision or opinion we form is as the result of making a judgement or judgements. I am no more 'judging' her as a quitter, than 'judging' her to be brave...her actions strike me as a mix of both.

Having watched and read articles on her, it appeared to me that she wanted rid of tinnitus, hyperacusis etc. , of course, but may well have accepted other forms how help or treatment if such could have been available in an appropriate and timely fashion.

I don't go for other people being involved in suicide unless the person who is undertaking the act is physically not capable themselves.

Fungus

 

[Ian Mac]

no Euthanasia for humans in USA.

 

[GregCA]

no Euthanasia for humans in USA.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assisted_suicide_in_the_United_States

 

[Foncky]

I don't go for other people being involved in suicide unless the person who is undertaking the act is physically not capable themselves.

Fungus

Ok. You have a problem with the concept of euthanasia. Not the place to discuss it really.

 

[Fungus]

No,I don't have a problem with euthanasia.....but not for tinnitus in an individual who is physically capable of carrying out their own wishes.

Fungus

 

[Foncky]

That's not the point. Maybe she wanted to say : hello medical world, this is a true rare disease, let's recognize it and help me to die in a dignified way.

Euthanasia is not only for people unable to move...

There are hundreds of people who kill themselves because of T, but we don't know about them. Do you prefer it ?

 

[Fungus]

Tinnitus is far from a rare disorder.

Of course euthanasia is not only for people who cannot move.....I said I did not believe it appropriate for a tinnitus sufferer who was capable of orchestrating her own fate. I think we are all well aware of a number of individuals who have chosen suicide as an escape from their tinnitus......and almost all of the ones I have read of clearly have had inadequately treated secondary mental health issues.

I don't have a problem with your views, I just don't agree with them.