Where to start?
I've been considering writing about my experience with tinnitus for a couple of months now. But as we all know, doubt or a sudden spike can hinder the habituation process.
First let me preface this by acknowledging that my level of tinnitus is subjective when compared to others. We are all having our own experience. Some/Many on a scale that may seem insurmountable... especially during those early onset months.
My story so far
On or around October 25, 2020 I became very much aware of a high pitch ringing in my ears/head. As for the cause, that is debatable; years of headphone use, working in the mining industry, and possibly but not likely a TMJ issue.
Well, regardless, there it was. Loud and obtrusive. It didn't take long for me to become consumed and entirely obsessed with this condition. At first a curiosity. Yet within a week everything went to hell. Sleep became impossible my anxiety was out of control.
I was spiraling head first into depression and suicidal ideation was a constant companion. For those first few weeks it was like I was racing the clock. Trying to make this awful noise go away. To no avail of course. I spent many hours struggling to mask the noise. The shower became my place to cry and to also hide from the ringing. Since it was the only thing that successfully masked the noise.
Of course mistakes were made. My family doctor had no idea what to do. They sent me to an ENT that confirmed tinnitus but found no cause! I talked myself into using hearing aids for about 3 months. And of course let myself get talked into the scam that is 'SynapseXT".
But honestly, in the end. It was time. Habituation comes with time. It takes time to build tolerance. Time to accept that this may be permanent. Time to learn it is not the end of the world.
It took nearly 6 months for me to accept this as my new reality. And for the last month I would certainly say my personal habituation has been mostly successful. The ringing is still here and constant but I am no longer afraid of it. And thankfully sleep is a little easier to achieve. As for the ringing, it's still there, it's still loud and annoying, and I still hope one day it will cease to be. But for now I am living again.
It's my hope that everyone suffering from this awful condition will find the strength and endurance needed to thrive. To find happiness in doubt. And to keep calm and carry on. Stay busy. And don't dwell on what we can't change. As you live and learn with tinnitus you will become accustomed to the sound and it will at least seem to be less of an issue. Slowly but surely.
I don't really have much advice to give other then give it time. And maybe an antidepressant when things seem to be too much. This is what is helping me cope. I don't know what the future holds but I know I'm better then I was.
I want to wholeheartedly thank Tinnitus Talk and pray for this community. Even though I don't frequent it as much these days, this was by far one of the best places to find comfort when most of the people around you don't and can't understand. So that's it. For now anyways.
P.S. This is Duke. He's a good dog
I've been considering writing about my experience with tinnitus for a couple of months now. But as we all know, doubt or a sudden spike can hinder the habituation process.
First let me preface this by acknowledging that my level of tinnitus is subjective when compared to others. We are all having our own experience. Some/Many on a scale that may seem insurmountable... especially during those early onset months.
My story so far
On or around October 25, 2020 I became very much aware of a high pitch ringing in my ears/head. As for the cause, that is debatable; years of headphone use, working in the mining industry, and possibly but not likely a TMJ issue.
Well, regardless, there it was. Loud and obtrusive. It didn't take long for me to become consumed and entirely obsessed with this condition. At first a curiosity. Yet within a week everything went to hell. Sleep became impossible my anxiety was out of control.
I was spiraling head first into depression and suicidal ideation was a constant companion. For those first few weeks it was like I was racing the clock. Trying to make this awful noise go away. To no avail of course. I spent many hours struggling to mask the noise. The shower became my place to cry and to also hide from the ringing. Since it was the only thing that successfully masked the noise.
Of course mistakes were made. My family doctor had no idea what to do. They sent me to an ENT that confirmed tinnitus but found no cause! I talked myself into using hearing aids for about 3 months. And of course let myself get talked into the scam that is 'SynapseXT".
But honestly, in the end. It was time. Habituation comes with time. It takes time to build tolerance. Time to accept that this may be permanent. Time to learn it is not the end of the world.
It took nearly 6 months for me to accept this as my new reality. And for the last month I would certainly say my personal habituation has been mostly successful. The ringing is still here and constant but I am no longer afraid of it. And thankfully sleep is a little easier to achieve. As for the ringing, it's still there, it's still loud and annoying, and I still hope one day it will cease to be. But for now I am living again.
It's my hope that everyone suffering from this awful condition will find the strength and endurance needed to thrive. To find happiness in doubt. And to keep calm and carry on. Stay busy. And don't dwell on what we can't change. As you live and learn with tinnitus you will become accustomed to the sound and it will at least seem to be less of an issue. Slowly but surely.
I don't really have much advice to give other then give it time. And maybe an antidepressant when things seem to be too much. This is what is helping me cope. I don't know what the future holds but I know I'm better then I was.
I want to wholeheartedly thank Tinnitus Talk and pray for this community. Even though I don't frequent it as much these days, this was by far one of the best places to find comfort when most of the people around you don't and can't understand. So that's it. For now anyways.
P.S. This is Duke. He's a good dog
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