I'm once again sorry to sound so negative but this is bullshit. I just came from the Senior Center where I was trying to read a suspense novel and had to stop and come home. The noise in my head was just too loud. I tried to go fishing the other day and the noise was so loud it ruined everything. People say to not stop doing the things that you enjoy. Everything I enjoy doing involves quite. Bow hunting, archery, fishing, reading. Listening to music "quietly" gives me a headache. People tell me to hang in there. I just don't see the point... I have had tinntus off and on over the years but nothing like this. It started last September. Every day I try to sleep as long as possible. It's getting harder and harder to fall back to sleep.
I pray every night to go peacefully in my sleep.
there's a LOT of BS around. I've been told bullshit like 'Don't worry, you will get your life back'. The first time was my psychologist, who specializes in tinnitus patients and said his technique 'works for everybody'.
Couple months later, he had to admit that he generalized too much. I actually respected that.
In another forum, I was told by someone the same bullshit. Of course, when asked, they didn't say how THEY 'got their life back'. They just said they did.
Really ?
I have been doing the opposite, and believe me, it has helped me much better. I can only tell you what has helped me, but I think that we are very similar: we can smell bullshit from a few miles away.
I think it's best NOT to pretend that life must be 'the way it was before'. That's what I would tell these other people. There has been a --major- change here, this isn't a walt disney movie, and major changes aren't helped by bullshit told such as 'you'll get your life back'.
The things that helped me the most are these:
I learned to accept this new change in my life. I mean truly accept it.
I kept telling myself 'hey, things can go bad. But they can also improve. Never forget that. I have seen it before. I got lucky before. I could have died that time, but I survived. Who knows?'. And improve they did.
As Felix Dennis said: 'You can believe in luck. Just don't waste your time looking for it'.
I don't care how I look to people, or if they think I am weird. I wear a masker 24/7.
It's my best friend. Have you tried a masker?
I use it everywhere, although most of the time I am by myself, when I have to see people, I explain to them that I am not listening to music, but a low-level noise to cover or mix with the noise in my ears.
I avoid silence. I used to love silence, now I love racket.
My masker is a mix of various noises: wind, rain, purple noise, hairdryer, and audiobooks.
I imagine I live in the stove of a ship, loading coal. Crazy thought? Who cares.
I don't care how I look, or whether people think I am crazy. My top priorities are: to use whatever, whatever helps.
I also always keep in mind biographies of people I have learned about. The composer Robert Schumann felt like you, he would say 'I can't read the newspaper. I keep hearing the A note'.
Another, was a doctor in the 1800's. He had to sit by a fountain when he had to write a letter, or he would not be able to concentrate.
Also, stoic philosophy is now my religion.
The most important thing is to learn to calm down. It is in the most critical moments that we have to try to be brave.
Sorry, I might appear lecturing. It's more like a reflection to myself, after reading your post. I wish you all the very best.
Member
