This does not mean all those with tinnitus will face the same fate. In fact the majority of us go on in some way to have a life
I had Tinnitus for over 20 years, very mildly.
I didn't like it at all, but I got used to it very quickly, and can tell you that it didn't really bother me.
But then, one day I suffered an acoustic trauma, which worried me deeply at the time.
There was no immediate rise in my Tinnitus, but when I awoke the following morning, a forest fire of 'HELL' was waiting for me.
That was four years ago, almost to the day.
That fire rages still of course.
Acoustic damage does not repair itself, does it?
Therefore, Tinnitus sound can not in all honesty recede, in my opinion.
I consider myself a brutal realist.
My mother was desperately ill with chronic depression, for every day of her life.
She was far too preoccupied with her own pain to love me. There was no love.
Poor poor woman.
For me there is no god, and no fairy godmother, so I am stuck with this wretched thing.
As for prayer - oh just forget it right there.
If god even exists, which I very much doubt, he defo is not interactive.
We can never put the clock back can we;
we can only ever go on from this moment in time.
I don't personally like to use the word 'habituation,' partly because people start spitting blood - and I'm squeamish - but really because I am very dubious about its efficacy.
Severe Tinnitus - Habituation ??
- no two people can even agree on a definition anyway.
When I read that people had severe Tinnitus, but eventually habituated to it, and now it doesn't even bother them at all, I am bound to question that severity.
For the first 20 years I could have told you that I had habituated.
I hadn't.
Very light Tinnitus means very little extra neuronal activity, so very little adverse effect on my life.
But when this first struck me it was a loop of:
Panic until exhaustion sets in, then
Despair until ready to end it all, then
Panic once again until exhaustion etc etc....
However, every single one of us needs hope in order to move on.
And there is hope for an adaptation which is much less punishing than the loop above.
Having to accept this "thing" comes with a crushing disappointment, but even then I do believe we can get more acclimatised to it, and live a good life despite the compromise.
Amazingly, we do learn to cope, and for the most part, cope pretty well.
We can still experience joy.
Many many things still cheer me up, and make me smile, giggle, or even laugh.
Company - intimacy - pussycats.
One morning, at my very worst, I called my precious Annie in, a delightful little blue Persian, at the front door.
She positively bounded 50 yards to come to see me.
I scooped her up and she lay like a little baby in my arms, purring like crazy for her dad.
I remember saying
"....sweetheart....my head is swimming in noise....but don't worry baby....I will always be here to look after you....always.....x"
I committed myself.......
Percy
TimTom
Member
