Hi! I first found Tinnitus Talk a few weeks back, when I was deeply depressed and desperately looking for a "quick fix" (cure or relief) to my tinnitus. I decided to share my story here. However, browsing tinnitus topics on the internet for prolonged periods can be detrimental to my mental health. I may not get back to comments quickly enough.
It's been almost 2 months since my ultra-high-pitched (~16 kHz) tinnitus onset in my right ear. Timeline-wise, it started after a middle ear infection caused by COVID-19 back in mid-June 2023. Nonetheless, I couldn't conclude whether my tinnitus was induced by COVID-19 because I went to a loud concert and stood in front rows 6 days before onset (most likely where I caught COVID-19, but no discomfort in my ears afterward). I think it was June 16, when I woke up in the morning, I could hear my tinnitus. I thought it was because of illness and would eventually go away. But it didn't.
Like what many others on Tinnitus Talk had experienced, 3 doctors concluded I have normal hearing (up until 8 kHz) and the cause of my tinnitus is unknown. Though recently I completed a more comprehensive hearing test which revealed my right ear lost 30 dB at 16 kHz, the audiologist still couldn't conclude the cause. Fun fact - my left ear lost significant hearing in ultra-high frequency, yet it's perfectly fine. In the meantime, I also developed hyperacusis in both ears with much worse conditions in my left ear (normal ear).
In the past 2 months, I've had 1 panic attack, 3 major depressions, 2 times suicidal thoughts, and numerous nights with poor sleep. Again, I am not sure how much COVID-19 contributed to these. But I am certain that tinnitus triggered them every time. That was until last week when I had a conversation with a guy online. I checked his profile and comment history, which indicated that he had been suffering from not just tinnitus, but a lot of other long-COVID-19 symptoms even after a year since infection. Along with other comments I oversaw online, a thought suddenly popped up in my brain: Tinnitus doesn't/shouldn't define me or my life. It doesn't physically restrict me from enjoying my life like before. It's just an annoying sound my brain thought would be important to present.
It's been a week without major depression kicking in, though tinnitus still gives me some minor anxiety from time to time. I'm doing my best to maintain and improve the current situation. Regardless of the cause, I'm hoping I can achieve habituation faster even though I totally understand it takes time.
Also, this may sound dramatic, but coming out of depression, I found myself loving the world more. It feels great to be alive and getting back on things I used to love; to wake up and see my girlfriend sleeping quietly next to me; to be able to talk to my family and friends. Tinnitus and depression reshaped my beliefs and values but in a good way. I'm hoping I can keep this positivity and move on. Life is beautiful.
It's been almost 2 months since my ultra-high-pitched (~16 kHz) tinnitus onset in my right ear. Timeline-wise, it started after a middle ear infection caused by COVID-19 back in mid-June 2023. Nonetheless, I couldn't conclude whether my tinnitus was induced by COVID-19 because I went to a loud concert and stood in front rows 6 days before onset (most likely where I caught COVID-19, but no discomfort in my ears afterward). I think it was June 16, when I woke up in the morning, I could hear my tinnitus. I thought it was because of illness and would eventually go away. But it didn't.
Like what many others on Tinnitus Talk had experienced, 3 doctors concluded I have normal hearing (up until 8 kHz) and the cause of my tinnitus is unknown. Though recently I completed a more comprehensive hearing test which revealed my right ear lost 30 dB at 16 kHz, the audiologist still couldn't conclude the cause. Fun fact - my left ear lost significant hearing in ultra-high frequency, yet it's perfectly fine. In the meantime, I also developed hyperacusis in both ears with much worse conditions in my left ear (normal ear).
In the past 2 months, I've had 1 panic attack, 3 major depressions, 2 times suicidal thoughts, and numerous nights with poor sleep. Again, I am not sure how much COVID-19 contributed to these. But I am certain that tinnitus triggered them every time. That was until last week when I had a conversation with a guy online. I checked his profile and comment history, which indicated that he had been suffering from not just tinnitus, but a lot of other long-COVID-19 symptoms even after a year since infection. Along with other comments I oversaw online, a thought suddenly popped up in my brain: Tinnitus doesn't/shouldn't define me or my life. It doesn't physically restrict me from enjoying my life like before. It's just an annoying sound my brain thought would be important to present.
It's been a week without major depression kicking in, though tinnitus still gives me some minor anxiety from time to time. I'm doing my best to maintain and improve the current situation. Regardless of the cause, I'm hoping I can achieve habituation faster even though I totally understand it takes time.
Also, this may sound dramatic, but coming out of depression, I found myself loving the world more. It feels great to be alive and getting back on things I used to love; to wake up and see my girlfriend sleeping quietly next to me; to be able to talk to my family and friends. Tinnitus and depression reshaped my beliefs and values but in a good way. I'm hoping I can keep this positivity and move on. Life is beautiful.
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