Tinnitus Does Not Get to Me Anymore: My 1-Year Update

[Trav_44]

Hello everyone,

I came here to look for info on another topic and saw that I made my account exactly 1 year ago and figured I should give an update.

My tinnitus was noise-induced and what I would call moderate when it was at its worst. There were some days in the 1st month where it felt like 7/10 but I believe that was due to the stress. Looking back, I spent the first 2 months reading EVERYTHING on here. I didn't post much at all but I read hundreds if not thousands of posts. I bought earplugs, earmuffs, decibel meter, sound machine, 2 fans, vitamins NAG, NAC, Turmeric Powder, Zinc etc. The first couple of months were very difficult. I leaned on others for support but should have at least gone and talked to a doctor. I was afraid of medication and have PLENTY of experience dealing with anxiety without meds so I thought I could handle it myself and I guess I did. The support I got from my mother was invaluable though. She has tinnitus as well and really helped. You have to talk to someone.

I was a mess and REALLY hoping it would go away. Those were my favorite posts here. The ones where tinnitus went away and the person disappeared. In the first few days before my ENT appointment I swear mine went away for a few minutes (after showering). I remember reading that one of their tests cause more problems than they solve. I'll never know but mine did not go away. My advice, go the best ENT you can find.

Month 2.5: I was living in fear of some upcoming travel plans, where I'd be flying and partying with friends. It was an important trip, my friend was getting married and I thought I needed to be part of it. If I were older and wiser I would have said no. I ended up going and doing everything I could to protect myself. To my surprise and gratitude the tinnitus did not get worse. I had a spike but it went away after a few days. Many people would consider such a trip stupid at that point, myself included but these are things we have to decide. I DON'T SUGGEST putting yourself in stupid situations. Just say no. The anxiety alone isn't worth it. I lived a completely tinnitus-responsible life after that and then coronavirus came and you couldn't go out much anyway.

Around month 4 I think I realized I wasn't one of the lucky people and it was going to take longer for mine to go away. Depressing but honestly I was starting to live with it. It had become about a 3/10 on average so it DID calm down a bit from the beginning. Hyperacusis went away too. I still couldn't sleep without tinnitus mixes and fan going but I found myself focusing on other stuff during the day more often. Exercise and healthy diet were helping a lot too. May not have felt like it but a big improvement from the beginning.

Months 5-6 are probably where I started to transition back to a more normal life. I was busy with work and making goals. Doing things I enjoy without thinking about it. I still had sleep issues but I have those anyway.

Month 7 - now: Tinnitus does not get to me anymore. It's about a 2 or 3 on average and nowadays I actually consider myself one of the lucky ones as it could be a lot worse. There are plenty of days that I don't notice it until I go to sleep and I only use a fan now. If I weren't so stressed about other stuff right now I might say it's 1-2 noise level.

I was a COMPLETE mess in the beginning stage and the ONLY reason I thought about tinnitus today was because I have other sleep/anxiety issues and I needed to come here and check ototoxicity for certain meds. The tinnitus has nothing to do with those issues either, I just don't want to cause a spike so I need to research.

So if you're new to tinnitus, I just want to say it can get better, it REALLY can.

 

[Gandalf]

As a recent tinnitus sufferer (2.5 months) and recent member of this forum, I have to say that your story is the most valuable I've come across, and not only because of its positivity. Getting through to the other side and transitioning back to life is the only viable choice we can make. The past couple of months have been difficult for me, but each day, the tinnitus bothers me a little less than the previous day. I'm coping through daily mindfulness exercises, the loving support of my spouse, and distracting myself with pleasant activity whenever I can. Next, I plan to go back to the gym. Will I give up my morning cappuccino or wine with dinner? Hell no. Will I follow a healthy and balanced diet? I always have. My point is, you have to follow your instincts as to whatever it takes for you to get to the other side, as you have.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

To Gandalf:

I've had this for over 7.5 years, and the "other side" has increasingly consisted of a state of horror equivalent to watching (from close up) a volcano erupting blood.

 

[Forever hopeful]

To Gandalf:

I've had this for over 7.5 years, and the "other side" has increasingly consisted of a state of horror equivalent to watching (from close up) a volcano erupting blood.

Again, not helpful. I think you would benefit from being on the Support category threads and not the Success Stories category threads.

 

[Ehren M]

To Gandalf:

I've had this for over 7.5 years, and the "other side" has increasingly consisted of a state of horror equivalent to watching (from close up) a volcano erupting blood.

This is not dramatic at all.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

To Ehren M:

It is not intended to be dramatic.
Its sole purpose is to convey the pitilessly nightmarish depth of tinnitus (for apparently many of us).

I'm sorry if such an unreconstructed image offends your effete sensibilities, but in order to be truly educated you have to be able to look at anything.

It also never occurred to you that the self-recognition involved in acknowledging this image as the unadorned truth of one's condition may actually be cathartic and necessary for a way forward.

Actually, I stole this image from John Cheever's short story "The 5:48"; it was meant to convey the extent of a girl's mental illness. If it's good enough to be included in a masterwork of American Fiction, then it should be able to be used to exemplify the rock bottom of this condition on this Forum.

 

[linearb]

To Ehren M:
It is not intended to be dramatic.
...
I'm sorry if such an unreconstructed image offends your effete sensibilities, but in order to be truly educated you have to be able to look at anything.

Obvious hyperbole was "not intended to be dramatic", and also you are the arbiter of what makes someone "truly educated" using two dollar words like "effete" most often found in stilted American western novels and literature written prior to 1950?

I have a bit of a hard time swallowing that because the original post was so over the top and your explanation here is at least a wee bit condescending.

Actually, I stole this image from John Cheever's short story "The 5:48"; it was meant to convey the extent of a girl's mental illness.

If tinnitus causes severe mental illness in some people then that's a separate problem which is not intrinsically linked to catastrophic tinnitus, as I know a number of people with the latter who are completely functional and in many cases make more money that I do. "Functional" is not the same as "happy about it", but I think it's still better than wandering through a quagmire of hopeless suffering.

We all have some degree of agency in all this, just as all people with shitty unfixable conditions have some degree of agency in how we interact with them.

It is super typical of this forum that someone (@Trav_44) posts a basically run of the mill habituation story with a positive outlook, @Gandalf says "hey thanks this was helpful to me" and then someone from the Doom Brigade immediately poops on the whole thing.

My observation is that most people, even those that find this forum, don't tend to end up in the Doom Brigade, so @Gandalf I suspect you will be some version of "fine", just protect your hearing to the best of your ability moving forward, and ignore anything that seems disturbing or unscientific.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

To linearb:

I honestly cannot believe the amount of wrongheaded, asinine criticism I have been subjected to by posting this.

I recall that you once steadfastly defended Julian Cowan Hill, and ever since that has frankly ruined my regard for you as a source of intellectual acumen.

 

[linearb]

It looks like I was off by 40 years; mainstream use of 'effete' had tapered off hard by 1920. It shows up a fair amount in Louis L'Amour books and similar, past that point in time. I mostly just think is interesting; there is obvious irony in me criticizing someone for using arcane vocab when it's a hallmark of my own posts, but I try not to do it to put others down...

 

[linearb]

I honestly cannot believe the amount of wrongheaded, asinine criticism I have been subjected to by posting this.

If one person thinks you're wrongheaded then there's a 50/50 chance it's their problem but when nearly everyone does, you might want to look in the mirror.

I believe I said I found some of Hill's ideas interesting as well as the phone call I had with him but also discouraged spending any amount of money on his products; that is hardly a ringing endorsement. If you don't find his ideas useful, that's obviously fine and has no impact to me.

If someone holding a single opinion you disagree with causes you to discount everything else they might think out of hand, again, that's a you problem and not a me problem

The fact that you're falling back on my post history rather than at all trying to respond to the substance of what I said speaks volumes. You have waltzed into a positive thread expressing negativity and yet you haven't responded to or interacted with OP at all, and seem only to want to polarize the thread with your own traumatic experience.

I am sincerely sorry that you are in such a place of suffering, I truly am. Tinnitus sucks, period. The uncertainties and pain it causes us, suck, period.

I understand all that but I don't understand why you felt a need to interject all that into this thread. Your experience is clearly very, very different than @Trav_44 -- do you feel that you are a "success story"? If not, why are you determined to, more or less, rain on the parade here?

Almost every habituation success story plays out like this here and it is no wonder that people who have the more or less typical tinnitus experience end up posting three times and then vanishing in many cases.

 

[Johan001]

I must say that success stories, and I'm particularly referring to the habituation stories, are the reason I didn't go totally insane in the first year of getting tinnitus. With my level and nature of tinnitus I don't expect it to go away neither do I count on medical research (I do hope though). So, for me, habituation stories have been vital, I can't stress this enough. And I am forever grateful to those kind people who write them.

Outside this forum, there is a lot of advice from habituated people, tinnitus coaches and communities to avoid forums because of all the negativity. I'm pretty sure they are referring to Tinnitus Talk as well and this is really a big shame, because it's a great resource with great people and tones of valuable information on treatments, research etc. So, it's really bad that forums get such a bad name.

When I was reading success stories and other threads here, I saw the tendency to criticize habituation stories and I have never understood why. Of course we all want a cure from the medical community, we want to be taken seriously, but we need to separate hopes from reality. The reality is that there's no cure and all attempts to find it have been futile. The reality is also that habituation is possible for many of us. And many of those who do habituate definitely don't downplay the severity of this condition. Sir John Hayes lives a productive life with tinnitus and yet he agreed to lobby for medical research funding (just a bad luck that COVID-19 destroyed these plans, but that's another story). He said that he is aware that he is lucky that he could adapt but there are many people who can't.

I would actually start a mini petition on Tinnitus Talk itself: please do not shoot down habituation stories!

- These stories are sometimes the matter of life and death.

- These stories help new sufferers and veterans alike.

- If people decide not to write them in fear of being criticized, that's a huge loss for the tinnitus community.

- Do believe that those who write them have bad tinnitus too. If people come from being suicidal, they definitely are not "mild, hear it in quite rooms" cases.

 

[GeorgeLG]

I am also struck by how often a success story is met with anger, what's up with that? I too draw encouragement from people who get better. If celebrating a successful outcome is not your thing then why hang out here?

I am happy for anyone who gets better and I don't care how or how bad their tinnitus was at the beginning.

George

 

[Gabriel5050]

To linearb:

I honestly cannot believe the amount of wrongheaded, asinine criticism I have been subjected to by posting this.

I recall that you once steadfastly defended Julian Cowan Hill, and ever since that has frankly ruined my regard for you as a source of intellectual acumen.

Did he actually defend Julian Cowan Hill? Can you link the post where that happens, if you got it?

Julian is a scammer. He sells a cure that doesn't exist. Can hardly say he sells you anything, to be honest. You're just paying money for some comfort he'll give you in some videos. If anyone thinks their tinnitus can be cured with thoughts and relaxation alone, then he's your guy.

 

[GeorgeLG]

Did he actually defend Julian Cowan Hill? Can you link the post where that happens, if you got it?

Julian is a scammer. He sells a cure that doesn't exist. Can hardly say he sells you anything, to be honest. You're just paying money for some comfort he'll give you in some videos. If anyone thinks their tinnitus can be cured with thoughts and relaxation alone, then he's your guy.

I can't speak to the effectiveness of Julian Cowan Hill but I can tell you that there is a mind body connection for all illness for everyone, both positive and negative. I have experience with this mechanism dating back to the 80's starting with the work of John Sarno regarding my back pain and then on to many other experiences. I can for instance change my heart rate and blood pressure with meditation. My thoughts can change my autonomic nervous system. What are the other possibilities?

I am not saying that every disease or condition can be cured with thoughts and emotions but some can. The rest can all be made worse or better with our state of mind. You read it here all of the time. "Once I got more relaxed about it". "Now it's my friend and I don't fear it". "Once I stopped freaking out and relaxed assuming it will get better". "Once I let go of my initial anger..." and so forth. Many of John Sarno's patients were made better by just explaining the mind body connection to them and for the patient to grasp the psychosomatic process. I was significantly helped just by reading his books, a common result. I am now reading another one of his books that takes a more general approach. At one point when I found the John Sarno link to tinnitus my tinnitus went completely away for a brief time. Yes it came back, but what else is possible. It literally got 80% better while I was typing this. Look I am highly technical and spent the majority of my career solving difficult technical and business problem. I am completely intrigued by NO/OONO cyles and NAC conversion to glutathione, oxidative stress damage, ... and that stuff is all good and sometimes helpful but there is way more.

I am early in my tinnitus journey so I have no idea what lies ahead but I believe that my early struggle is way better than it would have been if I did not possess this knowledge and I will get a better outcome because of this process. Can everyone here be cured because they "get their head right"? No. Can everyone have a better outcome with some going all the way to cure? Yes. Remember, this is all literally just in our heads, in whatever form.

George

 

[cruise]

It is super typical of this forum that someone (@Trav_44) posts a basically run of the mill habituation story with a positive outlook, @Gandalf says "hey thanks this was helpful to me" and then someone from the Doom Brigade immediately poops on the whole thing.

Such a shame.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

To Gabriel5050:

linearb in fact defended Julian Cowan Hill when I reported that in three videos Hill reported the following:

If you wrote the word LOVE on a piece of tape and affixed it to the side of a steel cooker, the alleged "presence" contained in this word would penetrate the steel and improve the molecular configuration of the substance inside the vessel (the examples Hill gave were rice and ice).

Similarly, if you wrote the word HATE on another piece of tape and affixed it to the cooker, it's alleged "presence" would also penetrate the steel and somehow cause the molecular configuration to deteriorate.

Instead of recognizing the outright, laughably fraudulent nature of such commentary, all linearb had to say was that he did not agree with everything Julian Cowan Hill said.

It also never apparently occurred to linearb that perhaps after such idiocy one should accordingly be suspicious of the bulk of JCH's commentary (as you described him as being an unqualified scammer).

To defend such commentary from JCH, he also said that as a practitioner such ridiculous "treatment" could be dispensed and charged without any fear of a felony fraud investigation from a States' Attorney' office (or any other Law Enforcement Group).

I was a Commercial Property Insurance Adjuster for 32 years, and in the course of my career I actually wore wires for the FBI on 5 occasions regarding a fraud investigation for our National Flood Insurance Program (this occurred over a 2 year period resulting in three individuals pleading guilty).

I got to know very well all sorts of Agents, Assistant District Attorneys, etc., and I can incontrovertibly guarantee that If Hill started selling these duplicitous fantasies in the State of Illinois, he would garner their interest.

Why is this characterized as fraud? Because it is identical to those fraudulent psychics who for payment will claim to notify you of the future winning lotto numbers. They are charging money for a service that it utterly impossible for anyone on Earth to provide.

I posted linearb with the advice that he construct a JCH headtape with the word LOVE written in Boldface and affix it to his temple; if the force contained within the presence of this word can penetrate a quarter inch of steel, then it could certainly do the same with that portion of the cranium and alleviate his tinnitus.

Unfortunately, I never heard from linearb regarding the progress of this experiment.

In fact, linearb regarded such imbecile commentary from JCH as indicative of JCH's right to free speech, and said (in what felt like nothing more than a determination to spite us) that he was going to pay for some app JCH was selling so that he could remain active.

Regarding the reactions to my commentary about habituation, I am heartily sick of being so willfully misconstrued.

I absolutely never intended to blackpill the entire process; I in fact mentioned that after 7.5 years I have often been compelled to develop an emergency makeshift habituation method (especially during spikes).

I only indicated that, given each person's unique makeup, all sorts of factors can result in the capacity for varying degrees of success.

I in fact mentioned that I envied those whose success was greater than mine.

It's a shame that cruise is so painfully witless in regarding this as a shame.

 

[linearb]

@Trav_44, glad to hear you're doing well, is the bottom line. I am happy to know you've joined the roughly 40,000,000 Americans who have some degree chronic tinnitus but, at least for the moment, do not find that it's a significantly disruptive problem.

Protect your hearing!! Things can, of course, always get worse.

 

[John C.]

Trav_44, thanks for your post. I am just about at 4 months into what I believe will be a lifelong condition of noise induced tinnitus. I am not naturally wired toward positivity and optimism and am having to make a concerted effort to cultivate gratitude and joy so that I am not overwhelmed by "the noise".

Success stories are hugely important to me because they give me hope and hope is one of the most powerful weapons I have found in dealing with this condition. Hope is good stuff. Thank you for sharing it with me and all of those suffering from tinnitus. I am grateful.

John