Tinnitus from Amyl Nitrite (Poppers) — Depressed and Suicidal

[LiamDang]

Hi, my name is Liam, I'm 28 and from Australia.

I got tinnitus from sniffing amyl nitrite (poppers). Poppers is a recreational drug that gives a small high with that euphoria kind of feeling. I have used it in the past but never really gotten any long-term symptoms from it until a month ago. I will never in my life touch poppers or use any drugs for recreational purposes again. I just feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I fucked up big time.

I quickly read about personal stories of people using poppers and found out tinnitus is a common side effect. For me it's a high-pitched ringing in both ears which can be drowned out with YouTube or music in the background. But even so, it takes away the joy out of the simplest things I do daily. I find stress, caffeine, high salty foods, MSG and chocolate aggravate my tinnitus even further which I no longer consume. I have this tension behind my head and neck area that seems to have come along with the tinnitus which has yet to fade away. It has gotten better since the last time I used poppers but it still remains.

I have a long history of depression, 8 years ago I was in a very dark and lonely place. I was upset with myself and was resentful towards the world. It was so bad that I did not speak or make a sound for a whole year. It was my way of showing the world on how it made me the way I am. It got to the point where I tried to end my life, living was unbearable for me. What brought me back was the thought of my niece and nephew growing up without their uncle, the friends I have that would get married or have their first child, I would miss out, my siblings would feel really hurt and sad, and my parents would feel terrible knowing that their son was the first to pass and not them. I cried my heart out that night, the night I would end my life. I was begging to God for strength and forgiveness to live and carry on with my life. I would strive to get better after that night.

It feels like I'm back at that point 8 years ago. Suicidal thoughts plague my mind and I try my best to not give in to those thoughts. Almost everyday I would have a mental breakdown and cry thinking how could such a torturous thing exist in ourselves. I've read a few personal and success stories to give me some sort of comfort but I'm weak... Knowing that there is no cure is overwhelming for me.

A few hours ago I arrived back home from the emergency department, I felt very suicidal and was in desperate need for help. I cried a lot when the nurse asked me what is the reason I came in today, I told her I feel suicidal and that I have tinnitus... The nurses and doctors calmed me down and asked me a bunch of questions of my depression and my suicidal thoughts. I told them that it's the tinnitus that's causing me to feel this way and that I haven't felt this way until a month ago. The nice doctor gave me a mental health plan and told me to get a specialist to get my ears checked out. She also said you will need all the help you can get such as seeing a therapist.

I'm going to go with the plan to call up a specialist and call my psychologist tomorrow. I feel really tired at the moment and the thought of suicide does cross my mind here and there.

I just wanted to share this hoping it can serve some sort of lesson from my mistakes of taking poppers. Thank you for reading my personal story, I know it's heavy but I feel like I had to get it out of my chest.

 

[Juliane]

Hi, my name is Liam, I'm 28 and from Australia.

I got tinnitus from sniffing amyl nitrite (poppers). Poppers is a recreational drug that gives a small high with that euphoria kind of feeling. I have used it in the past but never really gotten any long-term symptoms from it until a month ago. I will never in my life touch poppers or use any drugs for recreational purposes again. I just feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I fucked up big time.

I quickly read about personal stories of people using poppers and found out tinnitus is a common side effect. For me it's a high-pitched ringing in both ears which can be drowned out with YouTube or music in the background. But even so, it takes away the joy out of the simplest things I do daily. I find stress, caffeine, high salty foods, MSG and chocolate aggravate my tinnitus even further which I no longer consume. I have this tension behind my head and neck area that seems to have come along with the tinnitus which has yet to fade away. It has gotten better since the last time I used poppers but it still remains.

I have a long history of depression, 8 years ago I was in a very dark and lonely place. I was upset with myself and was resentful towards the world. It was so bad that I did not speak or make a sound for a whole year. It was my way of showing the world on how it made me the way I am. It got to the point where I tried to end my life, living was unbearable for me. What brought me back was the thought of my niece and nephew growing up without their uncle, the friends I have that would get married or have their first child, I would miss out, my siblings would feel really hurt and sad, and my parents would feel terrible knowing that their son was the first to pass and not them. I cried my heart out that night, the night I would end my life. I was begging to God for strength and forgiveness to live and carry on with my life. I would strive to get better after that night.

It feels like I'm back at that point 8 years ago. Suicidal thoughts plague my mind and I try my best to not give in to those thoughts. Almost everyday I would have a mental breakdown and cry thinking how could such a torturous thing exist in ourselves. I've read a few personal and success stories to give me some sort of comfort but I'm weak... Knowing that there is no cure is overwhelming for me.

A few hours ago I arrived back home from the emergency department, I felt very suicidal and was in desperate need for help. I cried a lot when the nurse asked me what is the reason I came in today, I told her I feel suicidal and that I have tinnitus... The nurses and doctors calmed me down and asked me a bunch of questions of my depression and my suicidal thoughts. I told them that it's the tinnitus that's causing me to feel this way and that I haven't felt this way until a month ago. The nice doctor gave me a mental health plan and told me to get a specialist to get my ears checked out. She also said you will need all the help you can get such as seeing a therapist.

I'm going to go with the plan to call up a specialist and call my psychologist tomorrow. I feel really tired at the moment and the thought of suicide does cross my mind here and there.

I just wanted to share this hoping it can serve some sort of lesson from my mistakes of taking poppers. Thank you for reading my personal story, I know it's heavy but I feel like I had to get it out of my chest.

Thanks for sharing your story Tinnitus ruins lives, it is unbearable. All the best of wishes to you - I hope you will recover.

 

[slc]

Hi, my name is Liam, I'm 28 and from Australia.

I got tinnitus from sniffing amyl nitrite (poppers). Poppers is a recreational drug that gives a small high with that euphoria kind of feeling. I have used it in the past but never really gotten any long-term symptoms from it until a month ago. I will never in my life touch poppers or use any drugs for recreational purposes again. I just feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I fucked up big time.

I quickly read about personal stories of people using poppers and found out tinnitus is a common side effect. For me it's a high-pitched ringing in both ears which can be drowned out with YouTube or music in the background. But even so, it takes away the joy out of the simplest things I do daily. I find stress, caffeine, high salty foods, MSG and chocolate aggravate my tinnitus even further which I no longer consume. I have this tension behind my head and neck area that seems to have come along with the tinnitus which has yet to fade away. It has gotten better since the last time I used poppers but it still remains.

I have a long history of depression, 8 years ago I was in a very dark and lonely place. I was upset with myself and was resentful towards the world. It was so bad that I did not speak or make a sound for a whole year. It was my way of showing the world on how it made me the way I am. It got to the point where I tried to end my life, living was unbearable for me. What brought me back was the thought of my niece and nephew growing up without their uncle, the friends I have that would get married or have their first child, I would miss out, my siblings would feel really hurt and sad, and my parents would feel terrible knowing that their son was the first to pass and not them. I cried my heart out that night, the night I would end my life. I was begging to God for strength and forgiveness to live and carry on with my life. I would strive to get better after that night.

It feels like I'm back at that point 8 years ago. Suicidal thoughts plague my mind and I try my best to not give in to those thoughts. Almost everyday I would have a mental breakdown and cry thinking how could such a torturous thing exist in ourselves. I've read a few personal and success stories to give me some sort of comfort but I'm weak... Knowing that there is no cure is overwhelming for me.

A few hours ago I arrived back home from the emergency department, I felt very suicidal and was in desperate need for help. I cried a lot when the nurse asked me what is the reason I came in today, I told her I feel suicidal and that I have tinnitus... The nurses and doctors calmed me down and asked me a bunch of questions of my depression and my suicidal thoughts. I told them that it's the tinnitus that's causing me to feel this way and that I haven't felt this way until a month ago. The nice doctor gave me a mental health plan and told me to get a specialist to get my ears checked out. She also said you will need all the help you can get such as seeing a therapist.

I'm going to go with the plan to call up a specialist and call my psychologist tomorrow. I feel really tired at the moment and the thought of suicide does cross my mind here and there.

I just wanted to share this hoping it can serve some sort of lesson from my mistakes of taking poppers. Thank you for reading my personal story, I know it's heavy but I feel like I had to get it out of my chest.

I also want to thank you for sharing your story. Tinnitus can be brutal on an emotional and physical level. The first months particularly so. Hopefully you will find the support you need, a process already begun on this board.

You are doing a form of sound enrichment by using YouTube or music. The sound of the ocean or water flowing, easy enough to play on one's phone, may also be helpful. I agree with you that stress and anxiety can aggravate tinnitus.

The poppers may have been the factor that set things off, or maybe high stress or something else. I just searched the PubMed website for articles on amyl nitrate and tinnitus. The search didn't come up with results specifically related to tinnitus. My point is mostly about not beating oneself up too badly. Good luck with the appointments.

 

[billie48]

Sorry you are going through a hard time with tinnitus. Many of us have gone through the darkness of tinnitus like you are. The suffering is most intense at the start, and yes, many of us have had dark thoughts along the struggles, including myself. It is quite common to have suicidal thoughts for intrusive tinnitus. Even many of us who wrote our respective success stories had these mental struggles. So it is normal to have dark thoughts about ending the sufferings.

I have multi-tonal tinnitus, with an ultra high-pitched dentist drill on my right ear and a rumbling jet-engine on the left ear which had lost all hearing overnight. Besides tinnitus, I also had hyperacusis twice. All sounds were unbearable and piercingly hurtful. Even the soft voice of my wife was hurtful. It was a nightmare. How I eventually turned around and now live a happy, normal and enjoyable life again? For brevity I invite you to read my success story with link below. I hope you will find something helpful to give you hope. Don't give up. Tinnitus isn't an end game. Give it time and learn from others how to cope with it.

Take good care. God bless your recovery.

From Darkness to Light, How I Recovered from Tinnitus & Hyperacusis

 

[Jambo]

Please go to the Tinnitus Association Victoria website. They have good information.

They do free phone counceling 7 days per week. There are several numbers on their website of tinnitus councillors who live with tinnitus happily. I have found them incredibly helpful.

 

[DreiT]

I actually can relate to this. I used poppers heavily, especially amyl nitrites (pentyl or any other won't cut it for me), and during that time I got tinnitus but it was the same time I went through benzo withdrawal so I did not know what really caused my tinnitus. This was 4 years ago before the pandemic.

At the start I got high-pitched ringing in my left ear. It did not become worse from loud alarms or so, it got worse when I ate too much MSG, caffeine or sugary stuff. As time went on, the sound changed daily from hissing to ringing to crickets. Never the same thing 2 days in a row. Some days I didn't get tinnitus at all and I'd have a silent day which was bliss.

About 2 months ago I pulled my back and had pain so I took a peptide BPC-157. I took it for a month and my back pain improved and my tinnitus improved a lot! I don't know if it's a coincidence; my tinnitus has been getting weaker as time has gone by anyways. I've never had a bad day of tinnitus since then. That's why i rarely post nowadays. My worst tinnitus days are like a 5 out of 10. It has gotten so good I tried to eat a lot of MSG, caffeine and sugar and it did not affect my tinnitus. And I know this is stupid but I did poppers again (Iron Fist Amyl) and my tinnitus did not even budge.

Please don't be depressed. It will get better.

 

[Supersix]

Have a CT scan of your head to rule out any underlying problems.