Tinnitus from Clubbing: 7 Months In and Finally Introducing Myself

[SummerDreamer]

Hi there! I'm Soffie and December just gone I experienced horrible cricket sounding tinnitus for the first time, and muffled hearing, after a particularly loud club night... I was high on drugs and alcohol and unfortunately was dancing in front of loud speakers for at least 3 hours

I was scared when I got back from the club, my friend also had the exact same symptoms as me but luckily it went away for both of us after a day...

I thought... I'm not having this happen again! So I got earplugs and tried to be more careful... up until the end of the year I would get very quiet tinnitus for a day after a night out... but it would always go away

But in Jan 2020, I had exams and the tinnitus came back full force with mild hyperscusis for a couple days, this time the tinnitus became chronic. I think the stress of the exams brought it back. I was suicidal for a few days and very sad but after ENT visit who checked my hearing (no loss) said I would be fine and habituate and should just keep wearing earplugs to loud events... I felt very reassured and for 4 months I barely noticed my tinnitus at all. Went to a couple nights out with earplugs and never any spike.

But, a couple of months after lockdown I had my final uni report deadline, got very anxious because of COVID-19 and the report, tinnitus spiked, and then came along visual snow. I got static, BFEP, afterimages and finally trailing. My tinnitus went down cos I was focusing a lot on my vision but now after a month of having visual problems my tinnitus is bothering again with a new tone and sensitive ears SO... I have a lot of questions

If my tinnitus is caused by noise damage initially, why is it stress and anxiety has made it worse including onset of new symptoms , rather than noise damage? Like I went to a few gigs and stuff, drank heavily etc... never made my problems worse only anxiety and stress did this?

I am finding higher frequencies , including laptop speakers, uncomfortable on my ears and sometimes painful. This is probably hyperacusis coming back. How should I tackle this issue?

I was going to start PhD in September, but now because of visual and auditory issues, not sure if this is a good idea. I have the option to defer to next year, so maybe I should try focussing on getting better first? But I am very anxious and depressed as I am at home with nothing to do and the PhD would help distract me even if I have shitty vision/hearing.

Finally, music and making music is my passion. I want to produce music at low levels just using some speakers, but not sure if this will worsen things. Is it worth t he risk?

So that is my story! I am often quite a pessimistic person but I hope that I can be truly happy again one day. It's still early days, I guess??

 

[ASilverLight]

It sounds like your initial cause is noise damage, which is the most common cause of tinnitus.

Many things can temporarily or permanently make tinnitus worse, and stress is definitely one of them. Unfortunately there is no way to tell how or why because tinnitus is just a very strange thing with many causes, and many things that can make it worse.

The best you can do is listen to your body and avoid triggers you know. I also advice you to be careful with noise - while many report no worsening, a lot also DO get worse from loud events and headphones even when they're being careful.

The good news is that your tinnitus is still new and for many it improves over time. Just take it easy and protect your ears. Be very diligent, and try to do things you like for some distraction.

Best of luck to you! Check out the Success Stories and Research News categories here for some much needed hope, and remember you're not alone. We're all here to help and support each other through this.

 

[SummerDreamer]

Aw thank you ! I'll take your advice on board. What confuses me tho is how quickly I habituated at uni- literally no spikes, nothing for 3 months and I didn't even notice it! But then after coming home to countryside where it's quieter I notice T again and it spiked when I was anxious...brain is so weird...

 

[ASilverLight]

Tinnitus and brains are very weird. It's possible your tinnitus was just very mild at first and with you being busy and having to focus on other things, your mind quickly adapted. Now that you're not your brain has more time to focus on other things and it hits like a brick.

My own tinnitus probably has many causes mashed together resulting in this beast, but it didn't start until I decided to take a week off work to recharge (had been super busy for months with only an occasional evening off) and with some very unfortunate incidents, the moment my body could rest, it dumped this on me.

However as your tinnitus has gone away/reduced before, chances are it will again. Give it some time and as I said, be careful and try to lower your stress as much as possible.

 

[Juan]

Hi there! I'm Soffie and December just gone I experienced horrible cricket sounding tinnitus for the first time, and muffled hearing, after a particularly loud club night... I was high on drugs and alcohol and unfortunately was dancing in front of loud speakers for at least 3 hours

That was strike one. Do not risk it more going to clubs or very loud places. Your initial onset was caused by noise loud enough to make lasting damage, so this is no joke.

If my tinnitus is caused by noise damage initially, why is it stress and anxiety has made it worse including onset of new symptoms , rather than noise damage? Like I went to a few gigs and stuff, drank heavily etc... never made my problems worse only anxiety and stress did this?

Because our hearing system has filters than depend on the nervous system and lymbic system. That's why for instance a screaming baby will wake you at night and sounds of equivalent volume, but on other frequencies, other types of sound, will not wake you up. Your nervous system became engaged after the onset of your hearing problems, and the vigilance it carries out over your body got "stuck" in a high-level of vigilance, looking for sounds that could do further damage. Imagine you are in a life threatening situation; several things happen: the fight or flight impulse is activated, your nervous system is on alert, your ears are paying attention to the tiniest noise.

Urban noises, and noise damage trigger hearing symptoms but also a response from the nervous system that is a primary response, an ancient response from pre-historic times.

 

[SummerDreamer]

But what if I'm really careful and wear musicians custom made earplugs? Music is my life so I'm willing to take the risk and if it's too loud I would just leave. Also there's so many musicians with tinnitus who keep going (like grimes for example)
My tinnitus gets louder when I'm depressed and anxious and not being able to do the things I used to love would make me depressed and make my tinnitus louder anyway!

 

[SummerDreamer]

Hi everyone, please don't read this if you're feeling fragile or don't want to read a negative post. But I feel like I had to get my feelings out after reading so much myself

I got my tinnitus from a very loud club back in December, on my birthday (yes I got my tinnitus on my birthday, how sad). It became chronic the month later, and since then I've developed visual snow syndrome symptoms, and after that mild hyperacusis with reactive tinnitus.

I am due to graduate with a first in physics, and I had a PhD lined up which I pulled out of due to these symptoms. I have been living with my parents since the lockdown, was doing fine until I developed visual stuff and then the pain from certain sounds recently.

I've been reading these forums endlessly for the past couple of months and from what I've read, it doesn't get better... at least for those who acquired tinnitus from noise, and have all the symptoms I have. All of the symptoms I have I would consider to be mild to moderate, and I could live with it I suppose... but I know for certain that at least one aspect of them will get worse, maybe to the point of severe, either the tinnitus, visual or hyperacusis, especially since my new symptoms appeared after a period of stress/anxiety. I had hyperacusis when I first developed chronic tinnitus and it disappeared, but it's come back again and doesn't seem to be budging.

What is the point anymore? I don't want to become one of the many people on here who have severe symptoms, who has become a hermit and has to get through day by day and not really living life. Why wait for that fate to reach me? I have already hidden stuff in a field so that I can end my life when I need to, and every day I wonder why I go through another day of symptoms and torturous emotions filled with regret, fear and grief. I guess it's because I have my parents who care for me deeply, who want to share my burden, friends and a boyfriend but I feel like all this makes things worse. One of my best friends since school who lives far away and I haven't seen, sent me a care package with a beautiful card and gifts, but it just made me feel so sad because its a reminder of the person I used to be. I will never be the same person again, and I may even get to the point of being so debilitated I can't leave the house. I know for certain I would end things if that happened.

My dad is retiring soon, we have now made plans to build an eco house in Scotland, where I could live a couple of years in quiet and be self-sufficient. I really like this idea, to have animals and my own plot of land that I could cultivate and live in harmony with nature. It's the only thing that keeps me going, maybe I could stick it out a few more years at least... But then my emotions get the better of me. What if my hyperacusis gets so bad I can't look after the animals, or even my visual snow gets so bad I go blind? It's like I can't do anything without this fear that my symptoms will get worse and cease my progress in anything I undertake.

I don't think I can live much longer with the regret, and the symptoms are a constant reminder, a punishment inflicted by my brain upon myself for having ruined my life. I'm too young for all this to have happened, and I'm not strong enough to see it through, even with these mild symptoms.

Sorry for the wall of text, I just feel so hopeless reading everything on this forum and how much my life will suck now

 

[ajc]

All of the symptoms I have I would consider to be mild to moderate, and I could live with it I suppose... but I know for certain that at least one aspect of them will get worse, maybe to the point of severe, either the tinnitus, visual or hyperacusis, especially since my new symptoms appeared after a period of stress/anxiety. I had hyperacusis when I first developed chronic tinnitus and it disappeared, but it's come back again and doesn't seem to be budging.

What is the point anymore? I don't want to become one of the many people on here who have severe symptoms, who has become a hermit and has to get through day by day and not really living life. Why wait for that fate to reach me?

Why would a person with stage 1 cancer diagnosis wait for their cancer to progress to stage 4? Better to kill yourself off at stage 1 than wait for it to possibly progress to stage 4.

Soffie... your symptoms are mild to moderate. You can't predict the future. Most people's symptoms improve over time, not get worse. Your thinking is toxic, and won't get you anywhere.

Did you get a first in physics and planned a PhD career by negative thinking?

Tomorrow you could die from an aneurysm brewing in your brain right now. Why wait for that remote possibility to happen? Better to call it quits now.

DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING. LIVE YOUR LIFE TODAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST.

 

[SummerDreamer]

Why would a person with stage 1 cancer diagnosis wait for their cancer to progress to stage 4? Better to kill yourself off at stage 1 than wait for it to possibly progress to stage 4.

Soffie... your symptoms are mild to moderate. You can't predict the future. Most people's symptoms improve over time, not get worse. Your thinking is toxic, and won't get you anywhere.

Did you get a first in physics and planned a PhD career by negative thinking?

Tomorrow you could die from an aneurysm brewing in your brain right now. Why wait for that remote possibility to happen? Better to call it quits now.

DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING. LIVE YOUR LIFE TODAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST.

ajc, I hope you don't mind me saying, but haven't your symptoms gotten worse to the point you are also suicidal and feel bad everyday? I imagine your symptom is worse than mine. I have good reason to believe mine will just progress seeing as I've developed new symptoms since onset, some that are unimaginable and rare for tinnitus, i.e. the visual snow... I have every reason to believe it's just downhill from here.

 

[oceanofsound26]

Hello @SummerDreamer -

Another STEM scientist with graduate degrees in Oceanography and Physical Geography here.

Why would a person with stage 1 cancer diagnosis wait for their cancer to progress to stage 4? Better to kill yourself off at stage 1 than wait for it to possibly progress to stage 4.

Soffie... your symptoms are mild to moderate. You can't predict the future. Most people's symptoms improve over time, not get worse. Your thinking is toxic, and won't get you anywhere.

Did you get a first in physics and planned a PhD career by negative thinking?

Tomorrow you could die from an aneurysm brewing in your brain right now. Why wait for that remote possibility to happen? Better to call it quits now.

DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING. LIVE YOUR LIFE TODAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST.

Agree with @ajc here. Maintaining a negative mindset with tinnitus will only lead you down the road of destruction and only contribute to the continuity of worsening symptoms whether actual or perceived. With your previous decision of whether or not to start a graduate program amidst the COVID19 pandemic and fallout, you might be overly stressed and anxious which will only further hurt your situation. It takes hardwork and dedication to earn a first degree in Physics and ambition and drive to have applied for and been admitted into a PhD program; all of which I do not think you give yourself enough credit for and these are things you should not soon abandon or forget as you will need them to cope and live with tinnitus and earn a graduate degree if you so choose.

I do not want to quote back the language of your entire post as doing it may make you feel worse. Please keep in mind that tinnitus does not proceed linearly and is often not limited to one cause and often goes thru cycles of good and bad periods (as it does for many users on the forum), so understanding that there are things you can and cannot control I think would help a lot. Also, take a break from the forum once in awhile if you can; this might help as well. Since my tinnitus is likely not caused by noise damage and I do not have visual snow symptoms, I cannot comment directly on this set of symptoms, but often tinnitus does fade and improve for many even if it does take months or years so there is still hope for you. From the tone of these posts, it sounds like you are in the bargaining stage of dealing with your tinnitus where you are considering how you can still live with your tinnitus but not in the way or manner you would have wanted. I went thru the same progression once I developed tinnitus last summer and was stuck in my sheer bloody panic stage and all of this eventually passed for me. I have pretty much habituated and live a similar life to what I did prior developing tinnitus. While the tinnitus has changed how I live my life (more cautiously and avoiding some of the more louder activities), it has not changed what I want to do with it. I still work in science but mostly teach now, still publish occasionally, and will begin to supervise undergraduate research once things return to normal instead of spending weeks or months at sea and working as a sea-going Oceanographer (which left much to be desired as far as work-life balance anyways).

My advice is this -

1) If you are able, find a quiet place at home to relax or meditate or do whatever you do to calm down. Do this activity for 15-30 minutes in morning when you wake up and in the evenings before going to bed.

2) Once COVID19 settles down, extricate yourself from your present situation and setting for a few days to clear your mind and settle down (again if you are able to do this).

(With your present situation, your cortisol and stress hormones levels are probably surging and abnormally high most of the time now).

3) Stop focusing on the what if's in the future and concentrate on what is in the present. Focusing only on the future will never allow to focus on what are dealing with at present and only further serve to worsen your condition.

4) For me, I also always understood science and the scientific method, so I applied this approach to dealing with and treating my tinnitus. I find if I can put something in terms I understand or can rationalize, it no longer seemed abstract and unreachable (e.g., treating and living with tinnitus). Strength comes in many forms; one of which is knowledge and understanding.

5) Do not abandon your aspirations and ambitions to earn a M.S. or Ph.D. in Physics or a different STEM field lightly. For some it is calling and if you are able to habituate and eventuallu live with tinnitus, closing the door on the possibility of earning a Ph.D. permanently earlier in your life because of tinnitus may become an even bigger regret for you.

Your life does not have to be over and developing or experiencing a worsening in tinnitus and associated during COVID19 is definitely worse than when it would have been pre- or post-COVID19. I hope things improve for you and how you approach to living with your tinnitus is half of the battle.

All the best,

-Oceanofsound26

 

[SummerDreamer]

@oceanofsound26 thank you for your words of encouragement... as someone else who has most likely worked hard to get to where they are now, you probably understand why I feel so down, although in your case it wasn't from noise damage but from neck issues etc., which I think makes it a little easier as you don't have the regret. It feels like I ruined everything for myself for one stupid night out, and I think many others feel this way too.

It would be darn near impossible for me to do my PhD this year to be honest because I find that laptop speakers hurt my ears, and a lot of the lecture content is delivered online. I don't want to be staring at screens too much because I don't want to worsen my visual symptoms, which thankfully you don't have (their onset was the scariest experience of my life, even worse than my bad acid trip).

Now I have kinda reached a miserable coping level with the symptoms, but I'm just downright depressed and can't be bothered to do anything productive apart from plan my suicide, the only thing which motivates me when before it used to be equations *sigh*. We're all different and you seem like a very strong person, which I am not.

 

[asey20]

Hey, we all make mistakes and it's okay. Don't be too hard on yourself because you aren't the only one. Over the past few weeks I've been asking myself what I did to get into this situation and often ended up blaming myself.

I think the truth is that we are both suffering from major anxiety/depression problems. Once we get that under control, things will get better.

As for the visual snow, if its mild then there is a good chance that you have had it before but just didn't realize. The internet says it's a rare disorder, but I believe this is false and that it is actually more common than people think.

 

[WillBeNimble]

SummerDreamer, I can't really say I understand, because I don't. I don't have hyperacusis or Visual Snow. What I can say is that there's some promising research going on with FX-322 that might help you. They should release the results from their 2a trial in October on hair cell growth.

 

[Zugzug]

Hi there! I'm Soffie and December just gone I experienced horrible cricket sounding tinnitus for the first time, and muffled hearing, after a particularly loud club night... I was high on drugs and alcohol and unfortunately was dancing in front of loud speakers for at least 3 hours

I was scared when I got back from the club, my friend also had the exact same symptoms as me but luckily it went away for both of us after a day...

I thought... I'm not having this happen again! So I got earplugs and tried to be more careful... up until the end of the year I would get very quiet tinnitus for a day after a night out... but it would always go away

But in Jan 2020, I had exams and the tinnitus came back full force with mild hyperscusis for a couple days, this time the tinnitus became chronic. I think the stress of the exams brought it back. I was suicidal for a few days and very sad but after ENT visit who checked my hearing (no loss) said I would be fine and habituate and should just keep wearing earplugs to loud events... I felt very reassured and for 4 months I barely noticed my tinnitus at all. Went to a couple nights out with earplugs and never any spike.

But, a couple of months after lockdown I had my final uni report deadline, got very anxious because of COVID-19 and the report, tinnitus spiked, and then came along visual snow. I got static, BFEP, afterimages and finally trailing. My tinnitus went down cos I was focusing a lot on my vision but now after a month of having visual problems my tinnitus is bothering again with a new tone and sensitive ears SO... I have a lot of questions

If my tinnitus is caused by noise damage initially, why is it stress and anxiety has made it worse including onset of new symptoms , rather than noise damage? Like I went to a few gigs and stuff, drank heavily etc... never made my problems worse only anxiety and stress did this?

I am finding higher frequencies , including laptop speakers, uncomfortable on my ears and sometimes painful. This is probably hyperacusis coming back. How should I tackle this issue?

I was going to start PhD in September, but now because of visual and auditory issues, not sure if this is a good idea. I have the option to defer to next year, so maybe I should try focussing on getting better first? But I am very anxious and depressed as I am at home with nothing to do and the PhD would help distract me even if I have shitty vision/hearing.

Finally, music and making music is my passion. I want to produce music at low levels just using some speakers, but not sure if this will worsen things. Is it worth t he risk?

So that is my story! I am often quite a pessimistic person but I hope that I can be truly happy again one day. It's still early days, I guess??

I can relate to at least parts of your story. My severe hyperacusis/tinnitus was not brought on by sound, but I obtained after the last year of my Ph.D. program (in math). It is thought that my cause is autoimmune; my doctor is treating me with immunosuppressants right now. But, like you, mine came on very suddenly. The last year of my program was exceptionally stressful. I applied to like 100 jobs, tons of interview prep, interviews, presentations, research publications, typing up my thesis, house hunting, packing, closing on a house, and moving. Within 5 days after moving into my new house, my life began to get ruined. My career is now over. Whatever my cause is officially, there is zero doubt that stress played a role in it flaring up.

I tell you my story so you have a baseline as to how much of my advice to listen to. Although my cause wasn't acoustic trauma, I do have experiences with sound making it worse. I also frequent this forum and have read many posts from people with acoustic trauma.

With this being said, here is my experienced, but non-expert advice:

1) Suicidal thoughts are normal, but it's too early to do it. You mentioned that everyone on here seems to be the worst of the worst. This is a biased data set. Tons and tons of people see tinnitus fade over time. If they didn't, this condition wouldn't be so obscure with poor visibility.
2) It is simply not true that wearing hearing protection makes concerts okay. Hearing protection has limitations. You say music is your passion. I think to maintain your passion, you should consider making compromises. I would say concerts should be out of the question. In exchange, you may get to enjoy music.
3) As others have said, FX-322 may help. Certainly, the research for hearing is heading in the right direction.
4) Be skeptical of the 'don't over protect' crowd. It really takes a lot to over protect. Almost everyone, no matter how hard they try, under protects.

Best of luck.