3.5 months in...
So I am forcing myself to post something here because, despite improvements, I am still feeling despair a lot of times about this condition.
I also noticed a lack of auditory input actually seems to make my tinnitus louder throughout the day. I work in a quiet office and I noticed that during the week my tinnitus was at its worst, so I started playing some soft music, podcast, or pink noise and it seems to help.
So right now...
Positive things:
- Sensitivity to certain sounds seems to have resolved. Mostly high pitched sounds.
- Sensitivity to loud sounds has resolved. I can tolerate 95% of what I believe I would of before this.
- I can tolerate music and TV again.
- I am not wearing earplugs unless it's a dangerously loud situation such as mowing the lawn.
- I am sleeping without Mirtazapine, currently using Melatonin and L-Theanine.
- I am interacting more with people again!
- I started trying to live again, walking going to event and playing a few video games... I still am afraid to venture to the gym.
Negative things:
- Reactivity to broadband sounds like fans, road noise, white noise etc... It has gotten ever so slightly better. At the very least I am able to cope with it better and just deal with it (sometimes).
- Tinnitus loudness. It's still loud, or at least I perceive it as such 24/7. Some days it starts out quiet but is generally ramped up by bedtime again.
- I developed a very low frequency humming after doing things like driving in a car for 20 minutes or more. It only happens when I go into my house though and not at work, store, or other venue. It's wild. It goes away after a minute or so, sometimes shaking my head will get it to stop.
- Doctors are ZERO help.
So I guess any message here is that things SLOWLY improve either through healing or perception. I don't know. I will take either. I still have many days where I just question why this happened to me and have a hard time dragging myself out of bed to face the world with tinnitus again, but they are less than when this mess started. I am still hoping for more improvement but I have my target set at habituation, anymore more than that will be a bonus.