Hello everyone,
My name is Christina and I am 27 years old. I first got tinnitus on January 30th, 2015 and the past year by far, has been the most difficult year I have ever experienced. I have pretty significant but intermittent hyperacusis along with T, which has made going out and living a normal life as a young person impossible. My tinnitus over the last year first started in my left ear and was relatively mild. But slowly, it has moved over to my right ear over the course of the last few months, which has caused me tremendous stress and fear of the future ahead.
I was told by my general practitioner, ENT, and audiologist that in time, I would habituate to my tinnitus and that after my infections were cleared up, there was a strong chance my tinnitus would simply go away ( I had several bouts of tonsillitis and took too many rounds of ototoxic antibiotics, which I strongly believe lead to my development of tinnitus). Over the last year, my tinnitus has only worsened and despite being told that I can continue life as normal and just wear earplugs, this has not been the case at all.
Every time, I attempt to go out and do things that I used to do i.e. (go out to a bar, concert, play my violin, go to a sports bar, have a few drinks) my tinnitus ALWAYS increases. It spikes yes, but it remains permanently worse. I had one margarita with a friend of mine a few weeks ago and my tinnitus clicked on in my right ear and has been through the roof ever since. A few weeks ago, I tried to go out to a sports bar with my boyfriend and his family (with ear plugs, of course) and I eventually had to leave about an hour into the game because my hyperacusis came back with a vengeance. My boyfriend was sweet enough to understand that I cannot deal with noise as I did previously, but I broke down because for once--I just wanted to be a normal 20-something and go out and enjoy myself.
I am a classically trained violinist and vocalist of over 16 years and music means absolutely everything to me. I have tried to play my violin like I used to, but even with ear plugs, the pitch of my instrument hurts my ears too much for me to play. I normally do not complain or try to feel sorry for myself about my tinnitus, but honestly, I want my life back!!!! I get so depressed and have had suicidal thoughts sometimes, because when I think about everything I used to do, and everything I have tried to do since having tinnitus--tinnitus always seems to get in the way of me pursuing what I want to do. I cannot go on living like this.
What is the point of life if you cannot have the freedom to enjoy daily life activities or pursue the career you have spent your entire life preparing for? I have tried to habituate to my tinnitus, which I ended up doing in the beginning. But even with earplugs, I always end up paying for going out and cannot handle the noise of these louder places as it causes me severe ear pain. I do not know how people play gigs, my ears are far too sensitive. I'm already at a point with my tinnitus that if it gets much louder, I do not know how I will be able to cope. I am twenty-seven years old....how am I supposed to live with this for the rest of my life? Or until we find a cure, whenever that will be?
Please help...I am at a loss of what to do. There are events in my life that I must go to and events for my job that I must attend as a manager and I fear that my tinnitus will ultimately get in the way of these as well. Anything you can offer to help me, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Thank you.
My name is Christina and I am 27 years old. I first got tinnitus on January 30th, 2015 and the past year by far, has been the most difficult year I have ever experienced. I have pretty significant but intermittent hyperacusis along with T, which has made going out and living a normal life as a young person impossible. My tinnitus over the last year first started in my left ear and was relatively mild. But slowly, it has moved over to my right ear over the course of the last few months, which has caused me tremendous stress and fear of the future ahead.
I was told by my general practitioner, ENT, and audiologist that in time, I would habituate to my tinnitus and that after my infections were cleared up, there was a strong chance my tinnitus would simply go away ( I had several bouts of tonsillitis and took too many rounds of ototoxic antibiotics, which I strongly believe lead to my development of tinnitus). Over the last year, my tinnitus has only worsened and despite being told that I can continue life as normal and just wear earplugs, this has not been the case at all.
Every time, I attempt to go out and do things that I used to do i.e. (go out to a bar, concert, play my violin, go to a sports bar, have a few drinks) my tinnitus ALWAYS increases. It spikes yes, but it remains permanently worse. I had one margarita with a friend of mine a few weeks ago and my tinnitus clicked on in my right ear and has been through the roof ever since. A few weeks ago, I tried to go out to a sports bar with my boyfriend and his family (with ear plugs, of course) and I eventually had to leave about an hour into the game because my hyperacusis came back with a vengeance. My boyfriend was sweet enough to understand that I cannot deal with noise as I did previously, but I broke down because for once--I just wanted to be a normal 20-something and go out and enjoy myself.
I am a classically trained violinist and vocalist of over 16 years and music means absolutely everything to me. I have tried to play my violin like I used to, but even with ear plugs, the pitch of my instrument hurts my ears too much for me to play. I normally do not complain or try to feel sorry for myself about my tinnitus, but honestly, I want my life back!!!! I get so depressed and have had suicidal thoughts sometimes, because when I think about everything I used to do, and everything I have tried to do since having tinnitus--tinnitus always seems to get in the way of me pursuing what I want to do. I cannot go on living like this.
What is the point of life if you cannot have the freedom to enjoy daily life activities or pursue the career you have spent your entire life preparing for? I have tried to habituate to my tinnitus, which I ended up doing in the beginning. But even with earplugs, I always end up paying for going out and cannot handle the noise of these louder places as it causes me severe ear pain. I do not know how people play gigs, my ears are far too sensitive. I'm already at a point with my tinnitus that if it gets much louder, I do not know how I will be able to cope. I am twenty-seven years old....how am I supposed to live with this for the rest of my life? Or until we find a cure, whenever that will be?
Please help...I am at a loss of what to do. There are events in my life that I must go to and events for my job that I must attend as a manager and I fear that my tinnitus will ultimately get in the way of these as well. Anything you can offer to help me, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Thank you.