Yes, I can say I have permanent T. The level of it varies, though. The contracting of those muscles or stress or tiredness only makes it worse, and adds new sounds of different pitches in different places, but T is quasipermanent. In 6 years I can count only a number of hours when i was T free, but that happened when I was on vacation and very relaxed, Yesterday I felt suicidal, that's how high it's got, I think because I had carried a heavy bag and after that I stayed in front of my laptop while sitting on one side on my bed (how stupid of me to stay with my neck and head for hours is such a position!)
Yes, the problem of meditation... T took so much from my life, so much, but the most precious thing that if took from me was the ability to meditate, which was my preferred activity. It took if not my dearest, one of my dearest thing in life.
T made me supid. I can't meditate, think deeply, drift into imagination, analyse..
So "funny": last week, I bought about 15 (yes, 15) books about self healing with the power of our subcouncious to heal the body if you give it strong, sustained, positive suggestions, but that requires quiet times and meditation, to talk to yourself, to reach deep down your inner self. I bought those books for nothing, cause i can't meditate, can't talk to myself for a very long time.
I became a cretin: I can hear what other people think and say , but I can't think deeply on my own, my brain is empounded by the noise. I went to university for nothing, I should have been a computer programmer, but for that you have to really concentrate, which I can't do anymore. I would give an arm and a leg to get rid of T.
But let's stay positive: they say that if you want to heal YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOUR HEALING!