Tinnitus Is Back Again, with a Vengeance

[Tonny]

Hello!

I am 46 years old living in Norway. I got tinnitus in 2010 probably due to playing in rock band + an accident with an exploding tire.

I had big problems for two years, when suddenly I noticed the tinnitus was going down - but got bad hyperacusis instead. I got treatment for that, and slowly I went back to my normal life without any problems.

ENT said my hearing was just fine, but I noticed I could not hear real high frequencies (above 10.000-11.000 Hz).

Sadly, the condition had taken its toll on my marriage, and I got divorced just around the time I was getting better.

I found a new wife (she was a foreigner, working as Au-Pair here in Norway), we got married and got a little child too (girl, two years old now). Life was not too bad ;-)

Sadly things have not gone so great lately. First of all my wife got expelled from Norway for two years (it's brutal, but sadly not uncommon in our new political landscape here in Europe), and in the middle of it tinnitus came back - worse than before. My wife is now living together with my daughter in her home country in Asia.

I have been struggling with her papers for a long time (1,5 years), and this has been stressing me out of my wits.

I have been normally quite careful with my hearing all along, quitting the band and avoiding loud settings, but my daughter got a loud voice - and I was starting to get worried about my ears around Christmas 2017. During the spring, i noticed I was more and more worried.

Then I had an incident just two week before my wife got the final message about expulsion (in May this year). I was throwing some big plates out on the lawn from 2'nd floor. I even was thinking about using earplugs, but for some odd reason (idiot!) I was thinking it was ok "it's outdoors, there is grass underneath, and I have total control". Of course after a while two plates hit each other generating a surprisingly loud bang. Oddly, I did not have any problems until 1,5 weeks later when my ears starting to make pop sounds and having a high frequent hiss. It even took a long time before I remember the incidents with the plates thinking it must be my daughters voice.

Now, i have big problems. No wife, no daughter and two ears that is really bad. It has evolved into high frequent hiss, pulsating lower hiss in my left, high frequent sudden random beepings sounds around in my head, a beep tone mid frequency in my right, humming and other sounds.

I was thinking I would not be able to sleep, but fortunately I do eventually and can do so like 12 hours.

Now I am back to the same problem as in 2010. Depressed, suicidal, taking a toll on my mum, dad and my brother with frequent calls to them trying to make me feel better. I have a doctor follow up (he has tinnitus too), but so far its like my mind is set for disaster. Specially thoughts about what an idiot I have been, and that I will never get used to my ears like they are now + this feeling that its going to get worse. Also, if I drop out of my work I will never be able to get my family back. Its been almost 6 months now, and it has not gotten any better. I just can not let go of the thought that I can not bee lucky twice, and I am so angry with myself not being more careful (this haunts me like a big nightmare). Also of course, my ears gives me the creeps - specially the high pitched sudden beeping.

 

[Jack Straw]

Hello @Tonny ,

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I think that your stress may be playing a huge factor in your tinnitus increase. I would suggest going to see someone regarding your tinnitus and how to deal with it emotionally. CBT would benefit you greatly.

I had big problems for two years, when suddenly I noticed the T was going down - but got bad H instead. I got treatment for that, and slowely I whent back to my normal life without any problems.

Archive it @Bill Bauer ! 2 years for the spike to subside.

 

[Tonny]

Thanks. This gives me a bit of hope https://www.cbtfortinnitus.com/dr-hubbards-story/. He seems to have a very similar condition like me. And if he has done it, why should I not.

 

[Tonny]

One thing that keeps me down. Are there any others that really is having a fairly happy life with Tinnitus like mine? Its quite loud, and so many noises. I just cant help feeling that people coping is the ones with constant sounds or lesser volume.

 

[Contrast]

ENT said my hearing was just fine, but I noticed I could not hear real high frequencies (above 10.000-11.000 Hz).

yup that will do it, the only test for hearing loss within the human voice range, also trouble hearing in background noise is also a component that isn't tested. Too put it simple ENT test are extremely inaccurate.

 

[Tonny]

yup that will do it, the only test for hearing loss within the human voice range, also trouble hearing in background noise is also a component that isn't tested. Too put it simple ENT test are extremely inaccurate.

I vagely remember I had to sit and listen to some white noise and an increasing human voice until I could figure out what was been spoken. Dont remember the outcome, but think it was ok (or I would have remembered that). That was before I got some earplugs with white noice (TRT?).

 

[Tonny]

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I think that your stress may be playing a huge factor in your tinnitus increase. I would suggest going to see someone regarding your tinnitus and how to deal with it emotionally. CBT would benefit you greatly.

Yeah, thats what my doctor is trying to make med do. I guess I am simply to far down now to take a grip on it properly. Specially when he asks me if I can accept my T getting louder I get serously problems. But I get the point, its not my ears that should be most important in my life no matter how they sound.

 

[Tonny]

I am so scared here now, thinking this is the end of my life.

 

[Lane]

I am so scared here now, thinking this is the end of my life.

Hi @Tonny,

I'm so sorry to hear about all the almost unbelievable stress you're currently facing--besides tinnitus. I don't know if you're open to various kinds of spiritual/energetic techniques to help balance brain harmonies, and help restore a sense of equilibrium. I've mentioned a few techniques in the following three posts (some overlapping info.) in case you have an interest. -- All the Best!

1. • 
     Post
     My Story So Far
     ...harmony--is to do an energetic technique called, "Balancing the Cortices". Here's a couple of videos on how to do that simple exercise:...
     Post by: Lane, Jul 8, 2018 in forum: Introduce Yourself
   • 
     Post
     Seeking Answers/Closure — Do I Have Tinnitus?
     ...harmony--is to do an energetic technique called, "Balancing the Cortices" (I've done it for years). Here's a couple of relatively short videos...
     Post by: Lane, Oct 9, 2018 in forum: Introduce Yourself
   • 
     Post
     Klonopin Withdrawal
     ...help a number of people (I do it daily). -- "Balancing the Cortices" The thing that I believe has helped me the most recently is being very...
     Post by: Lane, Jun 21, 2018 in forum: Support

 

[TLion]

I am so scared here now, thinking this is the end of my life.

Don't be. I know your feelings very well. I have experienced similar. And I know the feelings. I can sleep well, too. Is the days that are difficult. I believe the most important is getting out of fight our flight mode. Google getting into parasympathetic brain mode. Meditation and deep breathing help to come out of fight or flight. I think this is by far the most important step.

 

[Tonny]

Don't be. I know your feelings very well. I have experienced similar. And I know the feelings. I can sleep well, too. Is the days that are difficult. I believe the most important is getting out of fight our flight mode. Google getting into parasympathetic brain mode. Meditation and deep breathing help to come out of fight or flight. I think this is by far the most important step.

Also, right now I am scared I might not be able to visit my wife and my daughter for Xmas. The flight, noisy streets, my daughters loud voice. I have read too much on the net about all sorts of problems: People getting worse ears just by beeing in 90 db for a short while. How can I even get out of the door without beeing worried.

 

[RCP1]

Hi Tony. I am in same boat - You just have to hope it stabilizes somehow. Think positive.

Ur spike came down before and could do so again.

Give yourself a year and see what happens ... then re-evaluate what you want to do.

My heart goes out to you - I am only here for my wife and kids also.

R

 

[Contrast]

I vagely remember I had to sit and listen to some white noise and an increasing human voice until I could figure out what was been spoken. Dont remember the outcome, but think it was ok (or I would have remembered that). That was before I got some earplugs with white noice (TRT?).

Okay they tested for background noise to some extent but there has to be many different compeiting frequencies to determine where exactly the hearing loss is in background noise.

for example you may be able to hear someone talk in competing mid pitch background noises but low pitch background noise drowns their voice out, or what if a low pitch noise drowns out a high pitch noise outside of the human voice range?

There primary interest is the human voice range, meaning music background noise could sound like broken garbage and they would declare no hearing loss due to it having little to no impact on speech frequencies.

 

[TLion]

Also, right now I am scared I might not be able to visit my wife and my daughter for Xmas. The flight, noisy streets, my daughters loud voice. I have read too much on the net about all sorts of problems: People getting worse ears just by beeing in 90 db for a short while. How can I even get out of the door without beeing worried.

By not believing everything you read. Everything is very subjective and often written from a standpoint of anxiety and despair.
Protect your ears but don't overprotect. You will be fine.

 

[Contrast]

Hang in there neuromod, university of michigan, frequency therapeutics, otonomy and decibel therapeutics are working on treatments for tinnitus and or hearing loss and under a decade there should be something available like a head device that reduces tinnitus volume for a day or so.

ultimately hearing restoration may cure tinnitus and improve hearing as a win win! that's what my bet is on.

 

[Tonny]

Hang in there neuromod, university of michigan, frequency therapeutics, otonomy and decibel therapeutics are working on treatments for tinnitus and or hearing loss and under a decade there should be something available like a head device that reduces tinnitus volume for a day or so.

ultimately hearing restoration may cure tinnitus and improve hearing as a win win! that's what my bet is on.

Yeah, I do follow up on news on FX-322. Gives me a bit of hope at least.

 

[Tonny]

One thing that keeps me down. Are there any others that really is having a fairly happy life with Tinnitus like mine? Its quite loud, and so many noises. I just cant help feeling that people coping is the ones with constant sounds or lesser volume.

Just requoting myself. Its a thought bothering me so much.

 

[Bam]

Just requoting myself. Its a thought bothering me so much.

Nobody with severe T is leading a happy content life........People who think they have severe T might be. People who tell people they have severe T might be. But nobody, I repeat NOBODY is immune to constant noise torture. Hence why it's used all over the world to break people.

 

[Tonny]

Nobody with severe T is leading a happy content life........People who think they have severe T might be. People who tell people they have severe T might be. But nobody, I repeat NOBODY is immune to constant noise torture. Hence why it's used all over the world to break people.

That did not help me much

 

[TLion]

Just requoting myself. Its a thought bothering me so much.

Read the success story of billie48. That's what I read very often.

 

[Bam]

That did not help me much

Sorry it was late and I was tired.....

Firstly you probably don't have severe T and secondly if you do have severe T dreaming of a state whereby it doesn't bother you at all is complete nonsense and counter productive to your plight.

Remember the 'coping industry' has a firm grip on the tinnitus field and makes billions of dollars from sufferers in the abscence of a genuine cure. They will fight tooth and nail to perpetuate the myth that you can mentally overcome a screaming noise in your own head but I have not seen one shred of proof that people 'habituate' to noise torture......Not one.

Instead I've seen a lot of proof that constant noise torture breaks people down and destroys the will to live. I see it on here all day long and receive numerous messages from people wishing to end their lives and wondering why nothing is being done to save them.

Often the habituation scam has alienated their families and friends who now believe them to be whiny and ungrateful for the wonderful gift of life God has bestowed on them and how dare they want to die.

Tough love but the only way to survive is to accept life has changed irrevocably and is going to be a daily battle and hope for a miracle in your own circumstances (and the noise to lessen or depart) or the medical field to catch up and cure this bullshit.

If you want to believe in some myth that one day you will wake up and the horrid terrifying noise in your own brain thats driven you to suicidal thoughts, has suddenly morphed in to an old friend you might as well write Santa a note and tell him you've been a good boy.

 

[Tonny]

Sorry it was late and I was tired.....

They will fight tooth and nail to perpetuate the myth that you can mentally overcome a screaming noise in your own head but I have not seen one shred of proof that people 'habituate' to noise torture......Not one.

Well, I do not know, but I have spoken to several persons with jetplane level sounds in the ears that seems to cope fairly OK. Even the leader of the local National Hearing (HLF in Norway) was on a visit to me. He cant hear over 4000 Hz, and has constant hissing/roaring at an intense level. I was so surprised to see him drinking cofee, and talking about his business like just a normal dude. I just aim to live with this, even though it might be anoying - just as long as I can do and participate in normal life activities will do for me.

I have also spoken to this man. I post a translated article about him here: https://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=no&tl=en&u=https://www.nettavisen.no/nyheter/--som-a-leve-i-et-sagbruk/1603147.html

This is a quite famous person in norway - and I got the feeling her condition is worse than mine: https://translate.google.com/transl....no/syn-horsel/horsel/anette-boe-har-tinnitus

 

[Bam]

Well, I do not know, but I have spoken to several persons with jetplane level sounds in the ears that seems to cope fairly OK. Even the leader of the local National Hearing (HLF in Norway) was on a visit to me. He cant hear over 4000 Hz, and has constant hissing/roaring at an intense level. I was so surprised to see him drinking cofee, and talking about his business like just a normal dude. I just aim to live with this, even though it might be anoying - just as long as I can do and participate in normal life activities will do for me.

If you met me you would think the same thing. People I met recently and I divulged my situation couldn't believe it......'But you look so normal!' ......Just like your friend.

Nobody sees what's going on inside. Hence why people are shocked when 'famous' and 'successful' people end their lives.

Also people with T are embarrassed and ashamed to admit it causes them immense distress. Particularly those males of a certain generation. Also what good will it do them to admit to you they suffer horribly?!?

And the highly dubious jet level analogy gets used an awful lot by people claiming to have horrendous T that they live just fine with.

Like I said don't be shamed in to thinking you're a weakling and the world is full of super humans who can deal with relentless noise torture day and night......All is not as it seems and low self esteem people love to big themselves up at the expense of putting others down.

 

[TLion]

@Tonny
You just answered what you want to achieve, and that's great! Even if this answer was provoked buy a deeply pessimistic Bam who didn't intend to let you "switch sides"and argue the other way. But it shows what you really want to achieve. And that is what I long for too.

 

[Bam]

@Tonny
You just answered what you want to achieve, and that's great! Even if this answer was provoked buy a deeply pessimistic Bam who didn't intend to let you "switch sides"and argue the other way. But it shows what you really want to achieve. And that is what I long for too.

I think youve misconstrued my argument completely.

We all want to achieve this! And I'm not deeply pessimistic at all. I'm honest. I don't believe in bullshit and I'm not on any side other than wanting a proper cure so people stop believing in fairies and unicorns, stop dying and losing everything they love to this savage disease.

I believe that some people get better and the noise lessens. They then feel okay but purport to this being 'habituated' and try and make themselves feel big and tough for learning to live with it.

 

[Tonny]

If you want to believe in some myth that one day you will wake up and the horrid terrifying noise in your own brain thats driven you to suicidal thoughts, has suddenly morphed in to an old friend you might as well write Santa a note and tell him you've been a good boy.

First time I had Tinnitus, the humming sound was quite loud and made me suicidal. I just realize that even though other sounds freaks me out now I still have the humming, but that sound does not bother me at all anymore even though its just like before. Its funny thing. I guess that must be some sort of Habutation. Also, I have loudspeakers in my bedroom with some background noise and I sometimes have to check if its still running (because I can not hear it), realizing its still there - I just have gotten so used to it that I cant hear it before i listen for it (hard).

My parents house is next to the main road, the railway and a river - so its quite noisy there. However, we do not take notice of it (but our visitors).

I have also experimented putting up a 9000 Hz beep sound in my office that drives other people crazy when they enter. But I have got so used to it that I do not notice it (its qctually quite soothing, blending in with my other Tinnitus beep sounds)

Thus, i do not think the idea of habutation is a big hoax. That sounds a bit too dark to conclude.

 

[Bam]

First time I had Tinnitus, the humming sound was quite loud and made me suicidal. I just realize that even though other sounds freaks me out now I still have the humming, but that sound does not bother me at all anymore even though its just like before. Its funny thing. I guess that must be some sort of Habutation. Also, I have loudspeakers in my bedroom with some background noise and I sometimes have to check if its still running (because I can not hear it), realizing its still there - I just have gotten so used to it that I cant hear it before i listen for it (hard).

My parents house is next to the main road, the railway and a river - so its quite noisy there. However, we do not take notice of it (but our visitors).

Thus, i do not think the idea of habutation is a big hoax. That sounds a bit too dark to conclude.

The hum you describe is not severe T. Of course you can 'habituate' to a mild hum you can barely hear. Nobody is saying otherwise.

 

[Tonny]

The hum you describe is not severe T. Of course you can 'habituate' to a mild hum you can barely hear. Nobody is saying otherwise.

Well its quite loud. Just like the train passing by home, which I do not notice anymore. Even if the train uses the horn we do not notice it. Its so weird to think about.

 

[Nanny chocolate]

Morning Bam
The T torture goes on! Glad to hear that you "look normal". Nobody can see the screaming noise that never seems to let up.
Eve xx
@Bam

 

[Bam]

Well its quite loud. Just like the train passing by home, which I do not notice anymore. Even if the train uses the horn we do not notice it. Its so weird to think about.

Tonny I'm sorry to say this but you're a huge contradiction. You posted saying you think your 'life is ending' due to T and now you're pulling out all the old habituation cliches about trains passing by.

This confusing message is the reason nobody takes T seriously at all. And we're all stuck in the dark ages of treatment....or lack of it.

If you've habituated before I'm sure you can manage it again. Good luck.